To ask why you co-sleep?

[mummsyy]

I am genuinely interested, I have DD3 who has only ever slept in my bed once and that was last month when she was sick in her bed during the night so brought her in with me.

Currently pregnant with DD2 and I see a lot of people talking on FB etc of how they co-sleep and how amazing it is.

So if you do co-sleep, why? I was always under the impression it was dangerous but it's so common surely it can't be that bad?

So I could feed and sleep. Both children have 'slept well' in that they fed and then went straight back to sleep. I never had to pace around the house with them awake for hours. You can respond to them as soon as they need and before they get to the point of crying and being fully awake.

It's such a special bonding time.

For all of the above reasons.

Def super king size bed. Both DC sleep in their own beds now but still creep in and I love it!

To get some sleep even if it's not very good sleep. Didn't start co sleeping until 4 months, I would prefer DS to be in his cot but he has other ideas.

So I got some sleep. Dd didn't sleep much and was ebf. It worked for us. She went into her cot in her own room at around 1 year old. She still comes in some nights at 3. If you follow the guidelines it's safe and I think it's really helped dd knowing she can always come and have a cuddle. My mum did the same with me and I remember knowing if I woke up I could always go in and climb into bed and feel safe. I've always had trouble sleeping through the night and being able to go into my mum's bed really helped me as a kid.

We cosleep because ds wouldn’t sleep anywhere else! 1 year later and he still won’t aleep anywhere else! At no point have I felt sleep deprived because I bf in my sleep, just stirring enough to pop him on.

All mammals cosleep. It just felt completely instinctive. Also, we travelled a LOT when our kids were little, and it meant that they slept just about anywhere, any time, with no fuss, as long as I was with them. It gave us so much freedom!

Because a few times I drifted off with a newborn in my arms and realised quickly that wasn’t safe. This way we both sleep. I love cosleeping with her.

I think it is sad when you think of the women who must have been blamed for their baby's death because they co-slept. I think it used to be called overlaying.

I had my child in Sweden where the midwife recommended it over the baby sleeping by themselves - with the usual caveats in place.

I have never coslept because I believe it is dangerous. Anyone with a farming background can tell you sadly many tales of offspring suffocated by their mothers so I don't for a monent think natural or traditional automatically equals safe or better.

I am also really unsure how you can follow the so-called safe guidelines and do some of the things people say, like sleep and breastfeed. Someone above mentioned using a sleeping bag so no risk of duvet covering the baby. Except presumably you need to undo the sleeping bag or your pyjama too at least partially to be able to breastfeed. So if you are side laying, baby side laying to feed and you both fall asleep (which is how the main benefit of co sleeping seems to be), with a half-opened sleeping bag, then how do you continue to respect the safe sleeping guideline of the baby flat on its back, with no risk of the face being covered by the now-undone sleeping bag?

Most cosleeping accidents are almost by definition not SIDS. SIDS is unexplained, incidents like rolling over, or getting covered by bed clothes or falling out of the bed are all awful but are not SIDS. I am also aghast whenever I see people on here reply to an OP who is talking about how utterly exhausted and sleep deprived she is, suggesting coaleeping. Extreme fatigue is a contra-indication for co-sleeping and people don't seem to realise that when they breezily chirp "just co sleep, simples".

Thankfully sleeping accidents are very very rare, and SIDS is very very rare. But co sleeping opens a host of risks that do not apply if the baby is in a cot.

I just tucked the duvet away from the baby.
To be honest I think the chance of a breastfeeding mother who isn't drunk/on drugs rolling onto her baby is so minimal I didn't worry about it.

sycamore I was wary too but I just wore warm pjs, duvet below waist. You sort of end up dozing lightly and forming a protective cocoon around the baby. Arm up over their head, or your side, curled round them. You wake if they move.

I’m certainly no blind believer in the natural fallacy. But co sleeping worked for us during a phase of ds’s life. On reflection toon I think it can be done safely. We never fed during sleep but it was more that you were half awake, rather than fully awake because you’d had to get up to get them/they’d woken fully. So both of you wake halfway, feed, then it’s easier hit them to just drop off again. Dh, interestingly enough, found the same - he was able to sooth ds back down on waking and found he was very responsive to him.

It worked for us. It’s probably not for everyone. Next time I will rig up a side sleeper cot which I think will be the best of both worlds.

Sycamore I didn’t explain myself well. The sleeping bag was only to waist height, and I wore a warmish top to keep warm with nothing over me. No pillow either. Still a risk of me rolling but he was in the crook of my arm and I think I was always aware of him. It got more comfortable the older he got though, I’m not saying there are no risks. With dc1 I didn’t need to do this as he would sleep in the cot - dc2 was entirely different from the start and I was a danger to him as I said from falling asleep with him in my arms more than lying down as carefully as I could.

I also used a bedside cot when he was tiny so not in with me for the whole night just parts of it

Literally to nurse and sleep.

For us it wasn't really a choice.

We started cosleeping at 6 months. Ds just wouldn't sleep, never slept from newborn, bringing him into bed was the only way we got any sleep.

Now he's older he starts the night in his own bed but ends up with us as some point during the night.

We started at 1.5 as I was too scared to do it before that. By then, I had endured a year of extreme sleep deprivation (reflux and teething were hard on DD) so it was a massive relief to be able to co-sleep. I never thought I'd do it, but here we are. DD is now 3 and we both sleep in her room every night on a double floor bed.

DH and I miss each other, but I also enjoy being close to my little one as much as possible, especially since starting work.

I am a really, really deep sleeper, so never really trusted myself to co sleep. With DS1, I was way too terrified to have him in my bed.Moses basket then cot next to me until 18months.

DS2 was the same, until he got severe pneumonia at 5 months and was in hospital for 10days. He was so distressed he would only sleep next to me for a month afterwards. I was so worried about him I wasn't sleeping well anyway so knew I would roll over on him etc. As soon as he was 100%, he went back to his cot and he was fine with that.

He's now 19months. Brought him in bed with me the other night as he was poorly. So much for my mothering instincts..completely forgot he was there and accidentally elbowed him in the head Woke him up after it had taken me an hour to settle him. That is why I can't be trusted to co sleep with tiny babies

*knew I WOULDN'T roll over on him

The first answer nails it. Why would i want my DD in another room when we can have lovely snuggles all night and funnoly enough she is easily the happiest child out of her substantial group of friens, this is always commented upon. I believe 100% this is down to gentle not lazy can't be arsed disguised as gentle parenting.

I would have done it to get some sleep if I could (tempur mattress and memory foam isn't supposed to be safe for under 1's). As it was, I spent 8 weeks sitting upright overnight on the sofa, alternately terrified of dropping off and dropping off and startling awake, as DD would not sleep anywhere else. DP tried but she just screamed (now she's 2.5 it's the other way round, she only wants daddy!! 😭)

This time round I'm springing the cash for a really good rocking/feeding chair that I can nap in whilst holding DC2.

I’ve only been doing it a few weeks having never intended to co sleep at all. DD (7mo) was sleeping in her own cot, in her own room, waking for one feed a few times a week. She had a really bad cough/cold, then started teething, and has been up 3/4 times a night since, will not settle in her cot, so she’s in with us. TBH I hate it. I can’t sleep properly, I’m always uncomfortable, I wake every time she shuffles or grunts. Can’t wait til she’s back in the cot 😴

Parenting ideology, breastfeeding access and because it seemed easier than trying to make them stay in a cot.

If you lived in a house as cold as ours you would do it too, DH moved out of the room so there was lots of space. I moved them to their own rooms at 4 months and DH moved back in but always got into a double bed in their bedrooms if they woke up. DH said if I went not to come back to our room because it disturbed him and he had to work. I loved co sleeping, so lovely to smell them and feel them right there.

I've done it since day 2. Ds is now 28mo. I have tried him in a cot a few times but it's never lasted more than a few hours. If he wakes up in the night on his own, ds doesn't settle back. If he sees me next to him, he does. We both get better sleep. It also made bfing on demand very easy.