Bloody dh, aibu?

[FlopsyMcDoodle]

Staying with my dm at the moment - 2 dc’s 5yo and 2yo, both obsessed with trains. My dm doesn’t really have any kids stuff around and her house is very much an adults house - lots of ornaments, breakables, lovely furniture, generally just fairly stressful with 2 young dc.

She dug ou a few toys that my siblings and I had left - dolls house, bit of brio and my dbro’s old electric trainset. Dc2 has been loving the trains from the electric trainset but keeps getting cross because they don’t connect properly. They’re only really designed to stay together on the proper track which is too fiddly for dc2. He kept getting cross so I said I’d put it away and get it out again when he’s older. I haven’t seen it for a couple of days so assumed either dh or dm had put it back in the loft. Dm asked me where it was today, I said I didn’t know, dh said ‘oh I threw it in the bin.’ Dm then went rummaging through the bins but bins collected yesterday and looks like they’re gone .

Dh hasn’t apologised and doesn’t see what the problem is. He thinks it’s just junk so he threw it away. Dm is upset but wouldn’t say anything. Aibu to think dh has been really fucking rude? You don’t just chuck away other people’s stuff because it’s annoying your kid. I’m bloody mortified and think he needs to apologise and replace it.

[Pearlsaringer]

I may be the same sort of age as your DM. I would be very upset by this, even if I didn’t say as much. I would also be concerned for my daughter living with someone capable of such high handed behaviour; I would worry about how he might treat her.

At the very least he needs to recognise that the train set will have been precious to your DM and throwing it away was absolutely not his call. He probably can’t fix this so he needs to eat shedloads of humble pie.

[MadRainbow]

Also adding my AUTISTIC DH who struggles to form attachments and doesn't really have anything sentimental thinks he's a dickhead

[MilesHuntsWig]

That’s extremely rude and his reaction shows a complete lack of empathy.

If he is reading this thread I hope he’s starting to realise what a twat he’s been!

[YeahILoveSummer]

Oh wow. He threw out someone else's goods and doesn't see the issue or has apologised. So rude and inconsiderate. Really hope he apologises to your mother.

[MarmaladeIsMyJam]

HE HAS THROWN AWAY A SENTIMENTAL ITEM THAT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE!! What bit does he not understand??

[ShovingLeopard]

What on earth would ever make him think it is ok to throw away somebody else's property? Does he run round his friends' houses chucking away anything that displeases him?

Why does he think he is in charge of your DM?

[MarmaladeIsMyJam]

Actually have you asked him why he chucked it out instead of just putting it away?? My mind is boggling to his he would justify this!

[Notallthat]

Your poor mum, what sort of moron thinks that he can throw something away that someone has kept for 25+ years. I don't think a grown man can be that stupid which means he's just an inconsiderate wanker. I'd make him go and try and find them at the dump, recycling where ever.

[AmysTiara]

It's not up to him to throw anything in your mum's house away. Stupid rude twat.

[Ellie56]

I can't believe this. Who the hell does he think he is throwing your mum's stuff away? He had no right at all, regardless of whether or not he thought it was junk. How dare he? In your shoes I would be raging at the way he has treated your poor mum.

He needs to apologise to your mum, find out where the rubbish went, then try and rescue the trains.

Is he usually such an arrogant twat?

[Eppia]

I really hope this isn’t real Your poor, poor mum. I couldn’t bear to think of my DS’ battered but once dearly loved little engines being chucked in the bin.

[ShovingLeopard]

Is he usually quite arrogant and domineering in general, OP?

[Stillme1]

Your DH has shown a complete lack of consideration for an older member of the family. He has caused you extreme upset and embarrassment. He does not seem to have any manners. He does not understand the love DM has for her children and her childrens' things. Are you sure he is human.
He does not understand attachment so you could be the next "thing thrown in the bin" or the DCs.
I would not spend another moment with such an inhuman person.
I don't know why you are staying with DM. It might be a holiday or you have sold a house and not got your new house yet. Whatever the reason I think you now need to watch DH carefully. He just does nothave the right to throw anything out in another person's house and even if you and DH have your own house surely it would only be decent manners to say to you Is this done with, should it go in the bin?
What a self important little Sh1te he is.

[Coolaschmoola]

If my husband disrespected my mum in such a disgusting way he'd be gone. End of.

But he wouldn't - he's nowhere near perfect, but he certainly isn't a selfish, sanctimonious cunt.

I would not forgive this.

[Goldfishshoals]

No normal person thinks it's ok to throw away someone else's possessions without consulting them.

Even if you don't 'understand attachment' it didn't take much imagination to realise that people don't generally store things for decades unless they actually want them.

Assuming he doesn't actually have mental issues/brain damage/etc then I'm pretty sure he does understand the concept that people have possessions they want to keep, he just doesn't give a shit.

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

YANBU!

[MmeGuillotine]

He sounds like a thoroughly nasty and horrible person and I'm willing to bet that he has previous form for outrageously rude, thoughtless, selfish and mean behaviour.

I can't believe that he hasn't already apologised to your mum! It's the absolute LEAST that he could do right now. I'm astounded that someone could be so lacking in manners. Obviously raised in a barn, as my own mother would say.

[sparklepops123]

Not his house or property throw him out see how he likes it

[Clandestino]

Is he always this rude, arrogant and absolutely disrespectful and unfeeling? Wow. And he sees nothing wrong with that? A 100% twat.

[LadySainsburySeal]

I think I would throw out his phone,work ID, security passes, work uniform, shift roster, all underwear, and his car keys. (Whichever applied) How unbelievably arrogant to just bin something that doesn't even belong to him!

[DeathStare]

Some time ago some similar cherished stuff from my family got accidentally thrown away.

From this I know that it is possible to go down to the landfill and root around looking for your old stuff.

I think tomorrow that is exactly what he should be doing. And, no I'm not joking. If he refuses to then I would truly, honestly leave him. (And your DM will not doubt say he doesn't need to do that. Ignore her - she's trying to be kind)

[honeylulu]

Unkind. Rude. Self important. Uncaring. Ill mannered. Selfish. Hateful.

It would be bad enough if your mum had given you the stuff to take home and he'd binned it. Binning your mum's stuff at your mum's house is cuntworthy.

[Justeatthepotato]

I’d be absolutely livid and chuck something of his away

[Aridane]

I hope,you,are a troll. And, if, not : YOU DO NOT THROW AWAY SOMEONE ELSE’s PROPERTY



And if you screw up, you,apologise

[gillybeanz]

What a wanker, throw something of his away.
How rude, there are no excuses, it wasn't his to throw away.
I hate people like this who think they can do what they want with other people's belongings.
You have a right tit for a dh