Bloody dh, aibu?

[FlopsyMcDoodle]

Staying with my dm at the moment - 2 dc’s 5yo and 2yo, both obsessed with trains. My dm doesn’t really have any kids stuff around and her house is very much an adults house - lots of ornaments, breakables, lovely furniture, generally just fairly stressful with 2 young dc.

She dug ou a few toys that my siblings and I had left - dolls house, bit of brio and my dbro’s old electric trainset. Dc2 has been loving the trains from the electric trainset but keeps getting cross because they don’t connect properly. They’re only really designed to stay together on the proper track which is too fiddly for dc2. He kept getting cross so I said I’d put it away and get it out again when he’s older. I haven’t seen it for a couple of days so assumed either dh or dm had put it back in the loft. Dm asked me where it was today, I said I didn’t know, dh said ‘oh I threw it in the bin.’ Dm then went rummaging through the bins but bins collected yesterday and looks like they’re gone .

Dh hasn’t apologised and doesn’t see what the problem is. He thinks it’s just junk so he threw it away. Dm is upset but wouldn’t say anything. Aibu to think dh has been really fucking rude? You don’t just chuck away other people’s stuff because it’s annoying your kid. I’m bloody mortified and think he needs to apologise and replace it.

[Leeds2]

That really is dreadful. Could you look on eBay to see if you could replace the trains he has thrown out?

[mumonashoestring]

What an absolute shitbasket. Does he have anything that he treasures? Anything that anyone else would see as worthless but has sentimental value for him? How would he feel if you binned that?

It's a shame your DM won't go properly, screamingly postal at him. Is he used to being able to treat others badly and get away with it?

[Ivebeenaroundtheblock]

“He doesn’t understand attachment” huge red flag.
Knowing that little things can hold sentimental attachment to others is pretty basic.
Thoughtless dick, I hope he reads these replies!

[TheSassyAssassin]

Your poor DM They clearly held a lot of cherished memories for her of when her DC (you and your brother) were little and there was a reason they were important to her and she kept them. And I bet she was thrilled to see her DGC play with them. Your DH has been rude, shown total lack of empathy and is entirely in the wrong. Sorry OP but he deserves a

[Wrongwayup]

That is really really rude - what a knob

[fusushumi]

How disrespectful. You don't throw away other people's things.

[UserSnoozer]

Why would you throw out someone else's possessions. Prick. Make him go to the recycling centre and explain, see if they can find it

[XiCi]

What an absolute fucking idiot.

It seems even more of a pisstake that he only threw part of the set away as well, so your mum and dbro are left with tracks but no trains!! If it were my DH I would make him search out and purchase a suitable alternative for your mum

[Eliza9917]

I'd fucking divorce him.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Sorry OP, but you DH is a selfish git.

[Eliza9917]

Or I'd make him trawl the tip to find them, even if no hope of doing so, is make him do it out of anger.

What an arsehole.

[Eliza9917]

*I'd

[Qvar]

I'd leave someone over something this callous

I have no patience left for painting over the emotional ineptitude of others, and I would NEVER forgive someone hurting my mother so badly

[Slartybartfast]

that was unforgivable. it was Not his place to chuck the toys out.

[Quartz2208]

At a simple level it’s totally disrespectful to throw away something that is not yours. How can he not get thay

[LadyGrey66]

That is awful! Your poor mother.

[FlopsyMcDoodle]

He told me earlier that I need to stop going on about it because I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. As soon as dc are asleep I’ll show him this thread.

[Nanny0gg]

I don’t think it’s thoughtlessness he just doesn’t have any attachment to anything sentimental and can’t seem to understand why other people do.

Doesn't matter. Whatever way you look at it, it wasn't his to decide. It was beyond rude.
Doesn't he at least get that it's not his house, not his stuff so not his decision?

I'd have had a furious row over this.

[WeAllHaveWings]

I don’t think it’s thoughtlessness he just doesn’t have any attachment to anything sentimental and can’t seem to understand why other people do.

Regardless of that he can surely recognise that his DM is very upset.

[JennyHolzersGhost]

He sounds unpleasant tbh. Even if he didn’t realise at the time, being so pigheaded after having it pointed out to him doesn’t exactly look very good.

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

Big red flag, OP. Huge. Massive.

Can you really forgive this level of callous disregard for your family? I'm not sure if I could...

[kaytee87]

You are not overreacting. He just wants you to stop going on about it as it's embarrassing for him.
Honestly I know it sounds like a small thing but if he can't even show any remorse over this and apologise to you and your dm then I'd be considering whether I wanted to be with him or not.

[talulahbelle]

What an absolute arse. If he can’t see how wrong he is I’d be seriously wondering what was wrong with him. Your poor Mum.

[Eliza9917]

Does he have a history of doing things like this?

[Qvar]

You're showing him this thread? Show him this.

He took a treasured item belonging to someone else and threw it away, because he was emotionally unable to deal with his own child's irritation.

He is a shit father and a shit person.