Bloody dh, aibu?

[FlopsyMcDoodle]

Staying with my dm at the moment - 2 dc’s 5yo and 2yo, both obsessed with trains. My dm doesn’t really have any kids stuff around and her house is very much an adults house - lots of ornaments, breakables, lovely furniture, generally just fairly stressful with 2 young dc.

She dug ou a few toys that my siblings and I had left - dolls house, bit of brio and my dbro’s old electric trainset. Dc2 has been loving the trains from the electric trainset but keeps getting cross because they don’t connect properly. They’re only really designed to stay together on the proper track which is too fiddly for dc2. He kept getting cross so I said I’d put it away and get it out again when he’s older. I haven’t seen it for a couple of days so assumed either dh or dm had put it back in the loft. Dm asked me where it was today, I said I didn’t know, dh said ‘oh I threw it in the bin.’ Dm then went rummaging through the bins but bins collected yesterday and looks like they’re gone .

Dh hasn’t apologised and doesn’t see what the problem is. He thinks it’s just junk so he threw it away. Dm is upset but wouldn’t say anything. Aibu to think dh has been really fucking rude? You don’t just chuck away other people’s stuff because it’s annoying your kid. I’m bloody mortified and think he needs to apologise and replace it.

[Waddlelikeapenguin]

hope your lightbulb moment brings light to your life

And i hope your DH's next poo is a hedgehog

[ReanimatedSGB]

It doesn't matter whether he has any kind of SN or not. He has decided he can do whatever he likes, and 'whatever he likes' includes conscious choices to upset other people. Because other people, particularly any other person who doesn't have a penis, are fair game to hurt and mistreat.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

OP, while he keeps his stubborn stance, it must be difficult for you to start to forgive him for hurting your mum and disrespecting your feelings.

DS1 has ASD and is blessed with an overabundance of empathy. You have my sympathy. And your DP needs to understand that he cannot do this with your DS's possessions. Or anyone else's.

[FitBitFanClub]

I certainly wasn't trying to excuse his poor behaviour by asking about ASD, and anyway, that manifests itself in many different ways. Of course there are people with the disorder who can and do show empathy, but it is undoubtedly a common trait to struggle in this area.
Anyway, the OP is sure her husband does not have it, and she knows him best. Regardless, it must be a struggle to live with someone who is so entrenched in what appears to be rigid and black and white behaviour.