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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to already be resigned to having a bad birthing experience and feeling quite low about it?

141 replies

AHungryMum · 17/02/2018 11:18

40+2

No signs of labour starting yet

Went to hospital yesterday because I thought my foetal movements had reduced, albeit they went back to normal whilst I was in hospital. The foetal heart trace was good, the vaginal exam was good (head low, cervix soft but still closed). So far so good. However, my urine had glucose in it (possibly the bag of Cadburys Fingers I'd eaten that afternoon?) and my blood glucose was a little high too. I'd previously had the glucose tolerance test (due to the fact the baby's abdominal circumference was only just within normal range at my 30 week scan) and it was fine back then (6 weeks ago). They measured my bump and think the baby may be a bit big. At my last midwifes appointment a couple of weeks ago, she thought the baby's size was fine, no concerns raised then.

The upshot is, they are now going to induce me on Mon or Tues next week. I'm trying to be strong but I'm actually really upset for the following reasons-

  • I'd hoped to avoid an epidural to minimise the risk of needing instrument assisted delivery, tearing etc.
  • I am terrified of the idea of an epidural generally
  • I know induced labours tend to be more painful than labours that commence naturally
  • I hate the idea of an instrument assisted delivery but particularly forceps
  • I am terrified of getting a 3rd or 4th degree tear and know that regardless of pain relief options chosen, the chances of that have gone up with the decision to induce me, and with possibly having a big baby
  • there is also the risk I could spend ages in labour, in agony, only to end up needing a C section anyway, which would be kind of soul destroying really
  • I'm also feeling guilty in case I have given myself gestational diabetes late on in the pregnancy through being a bit too naughty with treats and that my daughter will end up struggling with her weight as a result.

Basically, after having lucked out with a largely easy pregnancy, I'm now fearing/expecting the worst in terms of what kind of labour experience I can realistically expect and I'm feeling quite low about it. 😔😢 Am I being ridiculous? Is it normal to feel like this? Does anyone have any positive induction experiences they can reassure me with? Am I barking mad to even consider trying it without the epidural to begin with if all they do initially is pessary?

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 26/02/2018 17:46

Ah, great update! Glad to hear you’re feeling more positive. Best of luck!

Amanduh · 26/02/2018 19:24

A lot of these things don’t have anything to do with induction.

Amanduh · 26/02/2018 19:25

Also, I was induced, my birth story was bad but NOT due to the induction. Managed it w/o pain relief! Good luck!! Flowers

Boakboak · 26/02/2018 19:48

Another one to say I was induced and it was fine! I didn't have an epidural but that wasn't through choice, my labour was like period pains for about 18 hours then suddenly out of nowhere I zipped up to 10 cm and 30 mins and 2 pushes later DD flew (I'm not exagerating) out of me!!

snewsname · 26/02/2018 21:40

Lots of luck duly sent.

Teeniemiff · 26/02/2018 21:48

I have been induced twice for medical reasons (one being gestational diabetes). Both inductions were fine. Although the labours didn’t start on their own (one was pessary, second was waters broke then drip) they were what I imagine a natural labour would be like? But I’ve never had one so not sure? I remained strapped to the monitor & therefore on my back but I’m not sure if that’s because I was induced for a medical reason or if that’s because I was induced.
Anyway bo epidural, no forceps etc. Just gas & air & fairly quick too.
You can refuse induction I think, or perhaps have a preference about the method used. I personally wouldn’t want the drip again.

katmarie · 27/02/2018 07:15

That's a lovely update OP. I really hope today goes well for you, and you have your little one in your arms sooner rather than later. They have an amazing ability to make a lot of crap things very worthwhile when they are snuggled up in your arms (Speaking from the perspective of having just done a night shift of breastfeeding my little one, I'm knackered but it's definitely worth it!)

Carakanjac · 27/02/2018 07:23

I'm hoping someone has mentioned that you can't give yourself gestational diabetes by eating crap. It's a hormonal condition. I had it twice and the second time I was on a low sugary low carb diet even before I got pregnant.

Groovee · 27/02/2018 07:28

I was induced with Dd. 17 hours from induction to birth. Yes I needed to be monitored more but Labour was effectively 4 hours.

Ds, started with contractions on the Friday. Finally gave birth on the Wednesday and his birth had people called in to start intervening but I sat up and pushed and he was born fairly quickly. Labour was 8 hours and painful.

Didn't have an epidural as I hated the thought of a needle in my back. But Dia morphine in small doses was awesome.

Almostfifty · 03/03/2018 20:54

How did it go OP?

AHungryMum · 08/03/2018 10:13

Hi again everyone,

Apologies for radio silence - suffice to say the last 9 days have been rather busy! But after all the kindness and support I've been shown on this thread I wanted to give you all an update with the eventual outcome.

I ended up with an emergency C section in the end after various different types of induction failed (Propess, prostin, artificial rupture of membranes, synto drip for 8 hours, plus a particularly savage stretch and sweep after the prostin finally got me to a whole 2cm dilated). I was admitted on Tuesday and my daughter finally arrived in the early hours of Saturday morning. At times it was very demoralising, and times very painful. the Propess was in 24 hours, gave me bad cramps (not really contractions as such) and by the end still no dilation. Prostin didn't feel like it did much but it did actually work a bit. I took the epidural in the end and was pretty glad I did as my contractions were quite frequent then and some quite strong apparently but because of the epi I didn't feel them, hooray! I still couldn't get past 4cm, and by then time was running out. The epidural took two goes to get in, and took over half an hour, first time it wasn't in deep enough and I felt a nasty shooting pain which was apparently them probably catching against the bone, eek! So overall, objectively I didn't have the best birth experience and the sad thing about it is that the delays have meant that my husband, who only gets two weeks off work, has now had four days less with me and our new daughter than he would have done if I'd gone with an elective C section early on as I'd suggested to the hospital. They talked me out of it though and overall husband feels happier that everything we did was based on medical advice.

One thing I wasn't prepared for was the indignity of certain aspects of the procedure. I hadn't realised with artificial rupture of membranes that you basically still leak your waters out for hours afterwards so essentially spent 8 hours lying hooked up to my synto drip, my epi, unable to move anywhere, catheterised, leaking, and with an absorbent mat under me collecting my waters which the midwife had to change every so often so that I wasn't just sat in a big puddle. It felt pretty undignified.

The C section itself was actually not bad at all. Despite technically being an emergency c section and thus not having long to prepare for it emotionally, it was well managed, I felt well looked after, at no point did my daughter exhibit foetal distress, and the lovely anaesthetist played 80s music, so my gorgeous baby girl was born to Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder, which is actually kind of perfect when you think about it. I was also lucky that one of the top consultants in the hospital was on duty that night and did my C section. Recovery has been fast and good. The scar is incredible - it looks now the way I'd hoped it would look in three months time! It's like he's somehow managed to extract an 8lb baby by micro surgery?!

The most important thing though, as several of you correctly pointed out in advance, is that now my baby is here, I don't care. I am besotted by her. My birth experience wasn't objectively what anyone would choose, but I've survived with no lasting adverse physical consequences and the most gorgeous baby girl, so it's all good! 😍

Many thanks to all those who offered advice, support and reassurance on here. It was VERY much appreciated.

Xxxx

OP posts:
IAmMatty · 08/03/2018 10:22

Ah congratulations!!

Your labour sounds exactly like mine, only mine ended with forceps in theatre. Exactly the same up to that though.

It did niggle me for a wee while but number 2 came out so easily that it seemed to resolve any anxieties I had about childbirth.

So there's your advice: have another one Grin

Melamin · 08/03/2018 11:58

Congratulations Flowers

FWIW it sounds like you are recovering far better than I did from my 3 hr first labour with no intervention Grin

Long may it continue and enjoy your little one.

snewsname · 08/03/2018 14:28

It is different from normal pain isn't it? It's worthwhile pain.

Congratulations. Now for the worst bit - the sleep deprivation. Now if you' d have posted about that, I wouldn't have been so reassuring. Grin

Crocky · 08/03/2018 15:54

Congratulations Flowers

Almostfifty · 08/03/2018 21:34

Congratulations.

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