Knowing me I'd have probably said something like "they're only small children and a baby and they've better manners than you have though eh?! Don't think it's us that's a disgrace!" Then a big cheesy grin and bright and breezy fun voice in dealing with getting DC off the bus.
After years of dealing with "awkward customers" (of all ages and backgrounds) I've learned the best way to piss em off and make it clear they're the ones in the wrong is to be calm but very assertive in a cold way. The more riled they get the calmer and quieter I appear - they hate it!
Rude cow!
Yes you were unreasonable but honestly I doubt you're the only person she's done this with (written before driver update 😉) so - meh karma - while it was an overreaction maybe it'll make her think twice before SHE overreacts and is rude and hurtful.
"she's like that with everyone" not at all surprised
I'm also older and slightly less tolerant than I was. I don't think it's age I think it's just not being used to the noise any more (and as a former childminder I used to have a noisy houseful!) that is STILL no excuse to be so rude.
I wouldn't apologise to her (particularly in light of update from driver) and I would hold my head high if she is on the bus and be tempted to give her a banana to otherwise occupy HER mouth
"Her age is utterly irrelevant"
I disagree there are some situations where older folk are very judgmental and honestly horrible to younger folk because PURELY due to their being older they think they know better/can get away with it. Age doesn't always equal wisdom and in this case doesn't seem to equal good manners either.
Even my mum and aunt (same approx age of this lady) agree that they've noticed a fair few of their generation can be very rude. I've been present when they've called a few out (and it is kinda fun to see these rude people blusteringly trying to justify unacceptable behaviour to someone the same age or even slightly older than them, when they've thought they'll get away with it because they were doing it to a less confident and experienced youngster - ageism works both ways!) I've noticed it more last few years. How they treat service personnel, queue jumping, letting doors go in people's faces, not thanking those that hold doors for them etc (lost count of how many times myself or dd have held door open at local mall and a troop of older folk have walked through without so much as a smile in our direction - must admit I have on occasion ostentatiously said "you're welcome!") no idea why but it does seem to be a certain element of this particular generation as my grandparents and parents would never behave/ have behaved like that.
"Thing is the woman acted like a matriarch. Some older men and women act like in this way. Age has something to do with this scenario imo. And I say this despite being no spring chicken." Exactly!
Charolais has a certain shall we say, style of posting, such that I was taken aback by that post too - until I saw who posted it.
"She then said that some people are rude, nasty or evil cunts throughout their lives, and this doesn’t suddenly change when they retire or get a free bus pass, but they simply become old rude, nasty or evil cunts!" So true, I worked in elderly care for several years and once a new at the time, younger colleague was criticising a residents family for not visiting more, being somewhat cool when they did visit. In this particular residents' case I happened to know they'd been quite abusive to their DC in the past (still weren't very pleasant to them when they visited) and the DC actually found it very difficult to visit at all. I said to her, "you don't know what's gone before, don't judge what you don't know". Just because someone is now older doesn't mean they automatically deserve respect or forgiveness.
"Maybe that lady was just having a really bad day, maybe something terrible had happened that day - who knows?" That's NO excuse
"but it’s not always possible to think of appropriate quips in the heat of the moment." True I'm an expert at l'esprit d'escalier - thinking of the perfect response hours later. But I think generally being calm but still calling the person out on THEIR poor behaviour is the way to go.
All that said (and I am NOT condoning) but if she'd tried that where I live (fairly deprived area with lots of large families) she'd have been VERY lucky to get away with not getting actually slapped or something thrown at her - and not even necessarily by the mother. Certainly highly likely another passenger would've told her to "get tae fuck hen" swearing's like breathing here!
"So you took a quick survey of the other passengers" I'm guessing based on having witnessed similar scenarios that it's more a case as the woman was being rude to op other passengers commented things like "they weren't being too noisy" "don't be daft they were fine"