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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

........to not feel happy about children posting on here?

214 replies

sallyandherarmy · 15/02/2018 19:33

Just that really.

I thought this was an 'adult' site.

Kids posting makes me feel rather uncomfortable.

I have replied to a 'child' on another post, although something tells me that it isn't really a kid posting. Which also feels not right. :(

OP posts:
ShapelyBingoWing · 15/02/2018 23:08

Though that is somewhat a relief if true, it certainly doesn't cover all eventualities of what may come to pass between two users who start talking on the sex boards. However far from ideal, that's a fact.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 23:15

If you are concerned that there is some obligation on you to know a users age when you talk to them, you need to get off the Internet.

ShapelyBingoWing · 15/02/2018 23:22

Ah. So you are just after an argument then, not a discussion. Understood. I'd look elsewhere though... I'm not one who resorts to antagonising for the sake of it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 23:31

No. But when people post paranoid reasons with no basis to them as a way to justify keeping a club exclusive I’m going to point out that the empower is wearing no clothes.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 23:32

*emperor

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 16/02/2018 02:31

I just hope Cedric doesn't get the impression that all women over the age of 18 are intolerant, joyless fuckers from some of the stuff that I see on this whole site in general, and this thread in particular. Yo, Cedric: JFTR, most transgender people are completely harmless and are more likely to experience violence against them rather than instigate violence towards others. And, contrary to what that awful Spartacus thread stated^, it is extremely rude to refer to someone by a particular pronoun of your own choosing, when they have expressed a wish to be referred to be a different pronoun.

^ www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2716595-TransAgenda-BullShit-The-I-am-Spartacus-Thread

Andromeida29 · 16/02/2018 06:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2018 06:43

A quick AS shows the 14 year old posting in Relationships. So they are now giving relationship advice. Mmmm.

Lilyyulelog · 16/02/2018 07:21

sparklingbrook i'm sure the adults can decide for themselves whether or not the advice they're getting is worth listening to. if not they probably aren't ready to be on the internet.

I can't believe how rude some of you are being, she likes mumsnet big deal! i'd definitely want a daughter on mumsnet over twitter or tumblr

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2018 07:23

Possibly Lilyyulelog. I don't post in Relationships but I am sure most wouldn't be posting there for the thoughts of 14 year olds would they? As it happens it wasn't a helpful comment anyway...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2018 09:00

I think Shapely's idea of a 'tick box disclaimer' is possibly the easiest answer. If children insist on posting on this board, so be it - but they will have to declare that they are 18 or over so that the users of this site are protected.

I agree with AF in that if I would be allowing my 12/13/14 year old to post here, I would have failed due diligence as a parent. There's no one of us who isn't aware of the risks of allowing children free access online and to blithely allow it is just stupid, in my opinion.

I'm also wondering why some posters seem so keen to encourage underage posting. Ick

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/02/2018 11:16

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows don't tell me you're Grandma?

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 16/02/2018 15:28

GreatDuckCookery

Grin Grin

I'm her Giddy Aunt...Wink

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/02/2018 17:47

So that users are protected from what Lying?

DreamyMcDreamy · 16/02/2018 18:13

I just hope Cedric doesn't get the impression that all women over the age of 18 are intolerant, joyless fuckers from some of the stuff that I see on this whole site in general, and this thread in particular.

Same. Do we really know how old anyone is on here? Does it really matter if they're in their teens? They might want advice too.
How is this thread allowed to name posters anyway, I thought personal attack type things were against the rules?
If the 14 year old wants to post, I don't really see a problem. There's far worse sites out there than here.

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 16/02/2018 18:25

In many communities around the world, and probably in our community too once upon a time, welcoming a young girl and helping her enter into her womanhood into a supportive community of her elders is seen as a good thing. And failure to do that would be seen as lacking...errrr... due diligence as a parent and a member of the community! And yet here we are worried in case the presence of this seemingly emotionally intelligent young girl who wants to explore her entry into adulthood among people she trusts stops us from talking about...FISTING?! I think we may have failed due diligence as humans if that is the case....Hmm

ThymeLord · 16/02/2018 18:41

among people she trusts

What, random strangers on the internet who could be anyone?

As MrsDV said, the users of a forum mainly used by men wouldn't be expected to want to play daddy to some random kid. Why are we?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2018 18:43

Boom perhaps protection is the wrong word but I want to be able to post about issues that matter to me without having to have special regard that children are posting here. I can't imagine a child wanting to post here, I would ask why that is? I cant imagine why parents would want their children posting here and I can't imagine why some posters are so keen either. Maybe I don't want to think about it either.

Pai, I take it you've never heard of 'due diligence' before so you're fixated on the term. Your posts make me really uneasy and I'm going to leave it there.

SmashedMug · 16/02/2018 18:47

among people she trusts

And that's the exact reason we shouldn't be engaging with children on here. They will trust blindly in ways adults may not. Children shouldn't be encouraged to trust strangers online.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/02/2018 18:54

I've got no problem with teens posting on here as long as they are using the site "properly" and not just trolling, and as long as they don't use text speak.

I'm pretty sure most teenagers will be well aware of things like fisting, that sort of thing is playground talk.

If a teen gives good advice why shouldn't we take it, and if we give good advice why wouldn't they take it?

It's worth noting that Samaritans, for example, would not hang up on a child even though they are not specifically trained to work with children.

I really don't understand those who say young people should not be allowed, if nothing else how on earth is MNHQ meant to police it?

SmashedMug · 16/02/2018 19:00

if we give good advice why wouldn't they take it?

A child is less likely to know what good advice actually is. That's the issue. Horrible people could convince them of all sorts.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/02/2018 19:02

A child is less likely to know what good advice actually is.

As are vulnerable adults. Should we ban them from posting too? How about people drunk posting?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 16/02/2018 19:05

I can't think of any area of my life that would be enhanced by "advice" from a random 14 year old on the Internet.
The fact that the poster claiming to be her mother is so charmed by the fact that she's on here spreading her wisdom makes me feel uneasy as well Confused
What's going on there?

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2018 19:10

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows catch yourself on.

This is the internet, not Nanny Nora's knitting circle.

Would you be happy to see a bunch of hairy handed truckers, 'welcoming a young girl and helping her enter into her womanhood'?

Because that's very likely to happen when you take your poetic little world and apply it to life online.

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 16/02/2018 19:10

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe You were the one who mentioned due diligence and in the spirit of normal discussion the term you introduced was then referenced. I think if my posts make you feel so "italic-y" that you need to take a step back to a safe space, then you would actually be an excellent guide to a teen navigating her way through this virtual community - good on you!