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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

........to not feel happy about children posting on here?

214 replies

sallyandherarmy · 15/02/2018 19:33

Just that really.

I thought this was an 'adult' site.

Kids posting makes me feel rather uncomfortable.

I have replied to a 'child' on another post, although something tells me that it isn't really a kid posting. Which also feels not right. :(

OP posts:
PerfumeIsAMessage · 15/02/2018 20:59

So "mum", when your child receives PMs from one of the zillion pervs jacking off at the mere thought of a young teenager on what is essentially an adult site, who will you blame?

user789653241 · 15/02/2018 20:59

My ds asked me to ask MN for his question(maths related) and I have done that in the past. He typed his own thank you comment. Is that bad too? I didn't even think about it till now.

sourpatchkid · 15/02/2018 20:59

Yes I've read it. I also know teens are curious. I also know they could be getting their education from Pornhub (and I imagine a load of them are)

Mumsnet is a smart place. Yes the sex forum is graphic but very graphic content is available on the Internet. At least the sex forum often discusses mutual pleasure, respect, boundaries, safety etc .. yes it includes kink but it's nothing a 14 year old won't already be aware of now a days (sadly)

StickThatInYourPipe · 15/02/2018 20:59

TrustNaeFuckerEver

And that is a good point! If I had been on here at 14 I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself spouting a load of crap to people on topics I knew nothing about. Because I was 14 and thought I knew everything

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 15/02/2018 21:00

Your username is so, so apt, TrustNaeFuckerEver.

I've been here too long Lying Grin

AnyFucker · 15/02/2018 21:00

If my teen was posting for advice on here I would consider myself a failed parent

SaskaTchewan · 15/02/2018 21:01

yaela123
You would give free access to internet to a 14 year old? Are you nuts?

I am not sitting next to my kids when they are online, but internet access is restricted to the "family rooms" in this house. Yes, we do keep an eye on them.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2018 21:02

I wonder what the legalities are of accidentally talking to a 13 year old in detail about fisting. I don't imagine "I didn't know how old they were" would cut it if they've posted their age elsewhere on the site but you hadn't advance searched every poster you talk to just in case.

Yes, fair point indeed. I wonder too.

StickThatInYourPipe · 15/02/2018 21:04

I wonder what the legalities are of accidentally talking to a 13 year old in detail about fisting. I don't imagine "I didn't know how old they were" would cut it if they've posted their age elsewhere on the site but you hadn't advance searched every poster you talk to just in case

That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind! Very true though, I don’t advance search anyone really!

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 21:06

I think it’s pretty appalling to have a blanket ban on posters because of their age. Are they supposed to stick to CBBC sites until they suddenly hit 18 and then the floodgates open? Of course what actually happens in that sort of segregation is they get pushed to “official” sites which parrot messages they’ve heard from every authority figure ever and don’t appear to fit with their lives or look to peer support and get an even more amplified version of teen angst and inexperience.

It so fucking lazy for site to abdicate responsibility for being decent by simply banning younger posters regardless of what they post.

Batteriesallgone · 15/02/2018 21:07

Talking about trolls feeds the troll just as much as posting on their threads.

SinceWhenDid · 15/02/2018 21:07

Now you have a 14 go ogling fisting....

If a 14 year old wants to use MN then why on earth not!

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 15/02/2018 21:08

Hello everyone, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. We don't have a blanket rule against under 18s posting here; after all, there are parents who are under 18, too. We also know that lots of younger people appreciate the pool of wisdom and advice here.

In this case, we'd received a lot of reports about the thread and we did share people's concerns that Mumsnet might not be the most appropriate, or safe, place for a thread like that. Of course, we can't always know that someone underage is posting, but when we do, we do need to check things out and make sure that it's safe for them to do so. Posters who disclose that they are children can also add a level of vulnerability that we do need to weigh up here on an extremely busy, public forum.

Mumsnet is primarily a site for adults, and if we feel as though a child might not be using the site in a way that's safe for them, and for other Mumsnetters, then we would suspend the account. It is a bit of a case by case thing which is why we appreciate reports so much. We'd never want to cut anyone off from support- that's not what we're about- but sometimes Mumsnet might not be the best place for it.

We also have no reason the believe the OP wasn't genuine, and FWIW, CoedynSbageti has been with us for years and can confirm that what she claims checks out.

Hope this helps clarify things a little.

TheFirstMrsDV · 15/02/2018 21:09

MN is not a place for children.
I am amazed at how many grown adults believe the threads by 'teenagers' are actually by teenagers.
Of all the millions of places on the internet to talk and get advice why the HELL would they flock to MN?
Why are MNers so keen to believe that random teenage boys would want their advice?

Even if they are really 14 years old this is not the place for them. Not least because its full of weirdos pretending to be mommies.
What better way of getting contact with vulnerable children? Be a nice normal mommie on MN, be nice and sympathetic and motherly towards someone so desperate they turn to MN for help.
I say desperate because what other reason would a child have to come here?

Batteriesallgone · 15/02/2018 21:10

I wonder what the legalities are of accidentally talking to a 13 year old in detail about fisting

Surely the answer to this is never to go into graphic details about your sex life to anonymous people on the internet.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 21:11

Curiosity MrsDV. But desperate people don’t become less desperate if they aren’t allowed to post here. They’ll just go elsewhere.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2018 21:12

Surely the answer to this is never to go into graphic details about your sex life to anonymous people on the internet.

No, that's not the answer at all.

Mumsnet has a topic specifically for members to do that, if they wish to and many adults do want to discuss various sexual practices.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 21:14

Deleting younger posters’ threads does nothing to stop them reading those threads Worra.

ShapelyBingoWing · 15/02/2018 21:15

Surely the answer to this is never to go into graphic details about your sex life to anonymous people on the internet.

So do you think the people discussing things on the sex topic are all talking in the abstract?

MN is set up to deal with posters who'd like to discuss the details of their sex lives, swap tips, give advice, share experiences, etc.

It is not set up to have children using the site while ensuring the rest of its users are protected from the risks that that poses.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2018 21:18

Exactly my point BoomBoom

You can only view/post on the sex topic if you've been a member here for 90 days. Otherwise it's completely hidden from public view.

So a 12 year old child joins MN, which is perfectly within the rules (or even younger should they wish) and they have full access.

Again, all within Mumsnet rules.

TheFirstMrsDV · 15/02/2018 21:20

Boom maybe they go somewhere appropriate?

This is not a children's site.
I don't think we would be expected to accommodate them if this was a predominately male forum.

But we are women so should want to mother random kids.

A 15 year old comes on and schools us on feminism/diet/trans issues/style whatever. Tells us how its done. Is sure of themselves and 'tells it like it is'.
Gets told they don't know what they are on about and stop being such a twat.
Then it turns into 'how could you be SO MEAN to a vulnerable young person??!!'
Its fucking tedious

If I wanted to spend my evenings with other people's kids I would go to one of the pubs locally. They have been ruined by kids too.

Batteriesallgone · 15/02/2018 21:25

Just because something is allowed doesn’t mean it’s wise or advisable.

You can’t control what other people do with your content. You can only control what content you share.

ShapelyBingoWing · 15/02/2018 21:33

Just because something is allowed doesn’t mean it’s wise or advisable.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking about sex with other adults on a site that allows for anonymity and caters for such a topic to be discussed freely. The issue here is that MN can't be everything for everyone. It's not appropriate to cater for adults in this way while allowing the children to wander the site and contribute without restriction and constant monitoring to protect its core user group.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/02/2018 21:35

MN can’t stop children wandering the site, browsing and posting unless they bring in pornsite-esq registration.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2018 21:38

The issue here is that MN can't be everything for everyone. It's not appropriate to cater for adults in this way while allowing the children to wander the site and contribute without restriction and constant monitoring to protect its core user group.

That's it for me in a nutshell, Shapely.