To think I’ve found the secret to losing weight and keeping it off!

[Mummybo88]

Posted in weight loss but don’t know if anyone read it, so posting here for traffic.

I feel really passionate about this and I’m hoping it might help some of you the way it helped me.

I’ve had problems when it comes to food since about the age of 12 or 13. Up until then I was very slim & very active. Anyway, by the age of 15, I found myself very overweight. This prompted a cycle of me trying to cut a million & one things from my diet, having some small successes but then falling off the wagon, giving into my bodies cravings and feeling like a failure. Cue the self loathing, subsequent binging and weight gain.

I went through years of this. I tried everything. At one point, I even lost 3 stone but, lo and behold, I eventually gained it back and then some.

Anyway, one day it dawned on me that what was destroying me was all the rules. I never listened to my body, I didn’t trust myself to listen to my body. Days when I went to bed hungry felt like a success. In all honesty, I had sort of lost the ability to listen to my body. I’d become a slave to this diet - binge cycle.

Anyway, I decided to try something which felt very, very daunting. I decided to forget all the rules and try to learn to listen to my body again. I was terrified that I’d find myself living off chocolate brownies but guess what, it didn’t happen!

My initial focus was to really start concentrating on stopping eating at the moment I started to feel full. This wasn’t as hard as I thought because I felt safe in the knowledge that if I felt hungry again, i would just eat something else. Overtime, my cravings for all these “forbidden foods” lessened because they were no longer forbidden. When I used to diet, I’d spend my days fantasising about all of the foods I wasn’t allowed but now the everything was allowed, I’d find myself craving porridge for breakfast or a banana for a snack.

I also vowed to get out of the habit of weighing myself everyday. Initially, I’d do once a week and now I’m probably once a month (or whenever I remember to!!). The thing is, my weight on the scales each morning was dictating how much I ate that day. That’s just ludicrous when you think about it.

The other thing I realised is that some days you’ll eat more than others. If you have a day where you are more hungry and you find yourself eating more, don’t beat yourself up about it! You’ll find yourself eating less another day and it’ll all balance out.

I broke the diet/ binge cycle and I’ve weighed in the region of 8stone 10 - 9stone for the past 4 years. Other than my two pregnancies and both times, i lost the weight following this way of eating.

I eat cake, sweets & chocolate, but I also eat fish, vegetables & fruit. There’s a reason why 95% of people who go on a diet regain the weight within a year.

This has really worked for me and I hope it can help some of you. It’s by no means an overnight fix. The weight won’t just disappear in a few weeks, but it will come off and stay off. I know everyone’s different and what works for one person may not be so good for someone else but this has really changed my life and I can now enjoy food in a way I never could before.

I hope this can be of help smile

Thinnest person I know takes 6, yes 6 sugars in their tea!

You can eat healthily and be fat, but you are still eating too much. Everyone has a different frame and build so not everyone is going to look like a super model regardless of how healthy or little they eat, it's about getting to an appropriate weight for your frame. It also depends on how toned your body is as to how you look.

The problem with the ops theory is if you're overweight it takes more for you to "feel full" than your slimmer self. So at best you will maintain your weight.

Listening to your body is all well and good, but quite often our bodies tell us we want a sugary fat filled snack or meal. Because emotions play a part in this. We cannot easily separate the two. We then have to couple in the insulin spikes that sugar gives and then the subsequent hunger that follows. And the craving. Listening to your body drives you to wish that snack because ultimately our minds are in control of our bodes.. And due to excess weight, you need more of it to feel full. Feeling full is not just physical. It is also emotional. The two are forever linked. .

So again listening to your body works if you're close to a healthy weight and have healthy eating habits. It's nigh on a recipe for disaster for others. Hence why PAUL McKenna and his ilk don't work for everyone and hence why even for those it does work with uou need to listen to the hypontists voice daily.

The science is out there in terms of how to lose weight. Be it a calorie deficit, exercise, removing certain foods from your diet that cause insulin spikes and cravings be it sugar, fat or carbs.

What the op is describing is not a scientific way to lose weight. It is simply healthy eating. It is highly unlikely that someone can lose weight when they stop eating when they are full. Because there is too many variables to feeling full, from the size you currently are, to what you eat dictating how long you feel full for, through to emotions playing a huge part.

At best, you will maintain, because we fell full when we have thr calories required to maintain. we do not stop 500 short. Our bodies do not crave only the calories for our slimmer self. At worst, it will cause huge weight gain because it doesn't encompass mindful eating. Eating the right foods.

So where as I think it's great the op has managed to overcome anorexia and maintain a healthy weight on this, I suspect it's ideal for her. I do not agree that it would work for anyone who is significantly overweight, not without something else added in.

Op thanks for your post. I’ve been trying to find the courage to ditch the fad diets and go it alone. Can I ask how you cope with eating out - do you go for the healthy option or just pick what you want.

I think that's what I was trying to say bluntness, after losing the first 3 stone, I was able to more or less maintain that as my body had ben retrained to an extent. However I'd stopped losing weight 2 stone short of where I should have so I need to consciously get rid of that and then I'm fairly sure that I could normalise that again and maintain it. fingers crossed.

Dr Christian was on the Wright Stuff this morning. He said the difference between Americans and the French is that Americans will stop eating when they are full, French people will stop when they are no longer hungry. Maybe that is how we start to do what the OP is suggesting?

Yes, exactly. We all have a point our body feels comfortable at. That's it's easy to maintain at, but for many of us that point is significantly overweight. It's so much more complex than stopping when we feel full and eating what we fancy and that way weight loss lies. Science, history, emotion, it all plays a part.

Lose the weight then do what the op says, sure. That's healthy eating. But for the overwhelming amount of people the ops advice will lead them to gain weight if they already have weight related issues. As said, at best they would maintain.

For me the secret is social eating. If I'm eating at work, in the canteen with colleagues, i eat reasonable amount and feel full with smaller portions as well as eating more variety than myself preparing a quickie at home. Your mind and senses are not focussed on the food alone, you are also noticing other people, thinking about what you are talking about etc and eating becomes a diluted affaur rather than an intense activity.
Eating and talking and be "civil" in a social setting as opposed to being bored and pigging out on my own at home for instance. When I eat alone, i eat a lot more.

Another secret is eating slowly. As above when you are eating in a social setting you eat slowly, chew better and longer. Logging out is frowned upon so you are more conscious of your manners. Or at least I eat slowly and chew better. When at home eating alone, if i try to chew each piece a lot longer than I normally would, i feel full with smaller portions.

Oh, additionally also when you eat slowly you realise when you become full. So you stop.
When you eat alone and eat fast, by the time signals reach the brain ctom your stomach, it's already past your optimum fullness.

pigging out not logging out.

The problem with the ops theory is if you're overweight it takes more for you to "feel full" than your slimmer self. So at best you will maintain your weight.

Are you sure about that? I know people who maintain a very overweight weight by eating enormous quantities of foods and I know someone who over eats so much that it occasionally will cause him to be sick. He maintains his weight. These people are not stopping when they are full, they’d tell you that themselves. Same way I wasn’t and yet I wasn’t gaining weight, I was maintaining my very overweight weight.

I don’t completely disagree. A 6 stone version of me would have a smaller appetite than a 12 stone version but I believe that someone who is overweight can lose weight by stopping when they’re full and that their appetite would also decrease over time.

Dipitydoda good question. I eat what I want when I’m out. If that’s a starter, main & desert, so be it! Although usually I wouldn’t be able to have more than 2 courses. Likewise if I’m not all that hungry, I’d go for just a main. So again, it’s just listening to your body.

Dr Christian was on the Wright Stuff this morning. He said the difference between Americans and the French is that Americans will stop eating when they are full, French people will stop when they are no longer hungry. Maybe that is how we start to do what the OP is suggesting?

It’s very possible that this is what I’m doing but I hadn’t realised it.

I think it's unfair to say someone who is overweight it eating vast quantities of food to maintain it op. In fact it's very wrong. It's very easy to put on and maintain weight through eating the wrong foods over a prolonged period and having a sedentary lifestyle.

I get your perspective is from being under weight. But an overweight person takes more to feel full and your emotions, eating habits and history makes a large part of that feeling full.

If I asked my body right now what it wants it would not say a chicken salad. It simply wouldn't. Nor would my body tell me I need to go workout in the gym for an hour. However I know what I need to do to lose weight. So I will ignore what my body "wants" and I will give it what intellectually I know it needs to lose weight.

People need to retrain their eating habits, they need to find a way to lose the weight first, before they can start even contemplating just eating what they fancy and stopping when full. And eventhen, that approach is disastrous for many.

But, like your op, it's very wrong to say people who are very overweight eat vast quantities of food, or eat so much they are sick, they don't. Sometimes it's just a little of the wrong stuff too often.

I'd also add there is an element of judginess to your posts. About your brother, your sister, about overweight people. I would have thought that someone who had suffered from a significant eating disorder would have more empathy but also more understanding of the complexity surrounding food. I wonder if this is why your brother is not willing to involve you.your approach would not work for him.

I think we all get you have it nailed. And good for you. It's no small fear to over come anorexia, But I would urge you to have some understanding that some people have different issues to what you had.

Bluntness100 I was overweight and when I started learning to listen to my body, I lost the weight and have kept it off for 4 years. That is fact.

I didn’t say that everyone who’s over weight eat vast quantities of food. I am simply talking about people that are in my life.

As I said, this is a learning process. When I started listening to my body, I was making all the wrong choices in terms of food. Over time, when it really sunk in that those foods were no longer off limits, I found myself craving much healthier alternatives. That didn’t happen overnight but it didn’t take long. The problem is, diet culture has taught us carbs are bad, sugar is bad, saturated fats are bad, when in truth, all of these are fine in a balanced diet. I spent years thinking all I wanted to do was to eat these foods. It makes sense that when I ditched all the rules, they were the foods I ate initially but once it really sunk in that these foods were no longer forbidden, I found myself eating more fruit, more veg, and not always craving those “bad foods”. I’ve said it up thread but this is a learning process. But once you learn it, you have the ability to maintain a healthy weight for life.

Eat less, move more...it's hardly rocket science, is it!

Congratulations on your weigh loss and new found control.

I can't understand the clever and arsey replies from some posters.

Op. I also congratulate you on your control. However I continue to disagree with your approach is all it takes. Many people do not eat sugar or fat because it is forbidden, they eat it because they want it. They enjoy it. It makes them feel good. Their body wants it because they are insulin resistant or have cravings following sugar highs and lows, or Becayse that's what they are used to.

As said, I'm not disputing your way is healthy. I am disputing that telling people who are overweight to listen to their bodies and stop when they feel full without in any way attempting to ask them to retrain their eating habits will either cause them to maintain or gain weight.

Bluntness100 let’s agree to disagree. This thread is about me finding a way to lose weight and maintain it. It worked for me and I believe it could help others.

Totally. And I agree it could help others.. my point is it could cause many more additional problems. Because weight and food is a much more complex thing than simply eating what you fancy and stopping when full

Take a busy mum. Grabs some brekkie on way to do school run.

Feels hungry mid morning at work. Really friggen wants the biscuits everyone else is eating. She needs to lose weight. She should eat an apple. Which one is her body telling her she wants and needs? She doesn't want to feel deprived, you told her she could eat what she fancies. So she does. Except that sugar spike leaves her feeling hungrier than before.

Lunch comes. She goes to pret. She's hungry. Her colleagues are eating sandwiches and muffins. She's knackered. And pissed off about something that happened at work. What does her body tell her she wants. The sandwiches like her colleagues or the healthy salad? Does her body tell her she doesn't need the cookies. Or does the fact she really wants one overcome that? Because hey, she can eat what she wants now. Just stop when she's full. Because it's that easy to put it down. Especially when tired, stressed, hungry, and watching everyone else. And when you've no rules any more.

Mid afternoon. She now knows she can have anything she wants. Does she really want a chocolate with her tea. Can she just say no I'm full, or will her mind say she wants it she can have it?

She gets home. It's been a shit day. The commute was awful, she was late getting the kids. It's raining and cold. Her husband has made lasagne and garlic bread for the family dinner. Does she say yes, I will have some but stop when I'm full? When is that? When does she know she's full? When she's had too much? Because her body tells her she needs to eat enough to maintain her weight? Should she have eaten it in the first place because she's overweight? Of should she have had something less fat, carb, calory laden. Nah, she can eat what she wants.

Late evening. Her husband makes tea and toast. Does her body really tell her she doesn't need it. Ot does her desire not to feel deprived, to sit watching him and smelling it, mean she thinks her body wants it. And now she's allowed it.

She then rinses and repeats for a week. She's ate what she fancied. She's even went out to dinner at the weekend. Had a few glasses of wine. Because she can have what she wants. And she needs it after the week she's just had. She goes to the cinema. She eats popcorn. She was feeling peckish. Because everyone else had it. The smell made her hungry. She doesn't need to deprive herself anymore. Because uou the op told her so. Eat what you want. Stop when you're full. And she did just that.

She steps on the scales Monday morning and can't believe she's gained seven pounds. Because she only ate what she fancied until she was full.

So yeah, I will agree to disagree, because as much as I do agree it's healthy if you come from that place,and I agree it worked for you following anorexia and bulimia, and that it may work for others. I think for many more it's going to give them two weeks of freedom before they realise they are fucked and do some sort of retraining of their eating habits.

Bluntness, the person in your scenario is using food as a crutch, in the same way that some people use alcohol or nicotine, which is a totally different thing in itself.

The OP says, This has really worked for me and I hope it can help some of you

I don't imagine she expects it to work for those who use food in the way you describe...ie 'pissed off' 'stressed' 'tired' etc.

I agree with you bluntness. Being overweight is a symptom, not a disease. It is caused by many different factors, and one size is never going to fit all (if you excuse the pun).

To be fair to the OP I think her comments are more anti-dieting than 'do this and it will work'. And I can get on board with dieting not being a functional approach to weight management.

You're getting quite arsed replies op but I found your post very helpful. I think we've been sold the idea that we need to spend money on a plan or products to lose weight- the weight loss industry is huge. And we've forgotten to maybe listen to ourselves and trust our own instincts.

What you describe is how a naturally slim person who never diets eats.

Slimming world is quite the opposite - obsessed with food, special food, how much food "good" food and "bad"food.

I started listening to my body about a year ago. And cutting out evening snacks. I've lost a stone. And it's stayed off even over Xmas.