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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve found the secret to losing weight and keeping it off!

234 replies

Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 10:38

Posted in weight loss but don’t know if anyone read it, so posting here for traffic.

I feel really passionate about this and I’m hoping it might help some of you the way it helped me.

I’ve had problems when it comes to food since about the age of 12 or 13. Up until then I was very slim & very active. Anyway, by the age of 15, I found myself very overweight. This prompted a cycle of me trying to cut a million & one things from my diet, having some small successes but then falling off the wagon, giving into my bodies cravings and feeling like a failure. Cue the self loathing, subsequent binging and weight gain.

I went through years of this. I tried everything. At one point, I even lost 3 stone but, lo and behold, I eventually gained it back and then some.

Anyway, one day it dawned on me that what was destroying me was all the rules. I never listened to my body, I didn’t trust myself to listen to my body. Days when I went to bed hungry felt like a success. In all honesty, I had sort of lost the ability to listen to my body. I’d become a slave to this diet - binge cycle.

Anyway, I decided to try something which felt very, very daunting. I decided to forget all the rules and try to learn to listen to my body again. I was terrified that I’d find myself living off chocolate brownies but guess what, it didn’t happen!

My initial focus was to really start concentrating on stopping eating at the moment I started to feel full. This wasn’t as hard as I thought because I felt safe in the knowledge that if I felt hungry again, i would just eat something else. Overtime, my cravings for all these “forbidden foods” lessened because they were no longer forbidden. When I used to diet, I’d spend my days fantasising about all of the foods I wasn’t allowed but now the everything was allowed, I’d find myself craving porridge for breakfast or a banana for a snack.

I also vowed to get out of the habit of weighing myself everyday. Initially, I’d do once a week and now I’m probably once a month (or whenever I remember to!!). The thing is, my weight on the scales each morning was dictating how much I ate that day. That’s just ludicrous when you think about it.

The other thing I realised is that some days you’ll eat more than others. If you have a day where you are more hungry and you find yourself eating more, don’t beat yourself up about it! You’ll find yourself eating less another day and it’ll all balance out.

I broke the diet/ binge cycle and I’ve weighed in the region of 8stone 10 - 9stone for the past 4 years. Other than my two pregnancies and both times, i lost the weight following this way of eating.

I eat cake, sweets & chocolate, but I also eat fish, vegetables & fruit. There’s a reason why 95% of people who go on a diet regain the weight within a year.

This has really worked for me and I hope it can help some of you. It’s by no means an overnight fix. The weight won’t just disappear in a few weeks, but it will come off and stay off. I know everyone’s different and what works for one person may not be so good for someone else but this has really changed my life and I can now enjoy food in a way I never could before.

I hope this can be of help smile

OP posts:
Mummadeeze · 15/02/2018 08:43

I completely understand your logic and am so happy for you that you have beaten your food demons. My problem is that I don't feel full. If I have a delicious tasting thing - meal, dessert, biscuit, whatever - my over riding thought is I want to eat it again or three times as much of it. If I have a milkshake I genuinely feel like I want to have two or three more. And easily could. I can remember feeling full about 3 times in my life (like at Christmas when I have literally been eating non stop for hours). If I could have my ideal dinner and eat what my body felt like it would be apple crumble with salted caramel ice cream. Therefore I have to restrict my diet as I would be really really overweight if I listened to my mind and my diet. My whole aim in life is to ignore my body's food desires! I just can't see joe this could work for me?!

Geordie1944 · 15/02/2018 09:13

There is only one secret to losing weight:

Eat less and exercise more, such that your calorie expenditure exceeds your calorie intake by a significant daily total, and you will lose weight. All else is bullshit, waffle and pseudo-scientific claptrap.

I use a programme called Nutracheck which costs about £2 a week to keep a daily record of calorie intake and expenditure, and in four months have lost thirty eight pounds.

And it's bloody hard work.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 15/02/2018 09:24

To the poster who said they weigh carbs - how much should you be looking to eat??

WaxOnFeckOff · 15/02/2018 09:52

Geordie, Myfitnesspal does the same for free.

Eolian · 15/02/2018 10:09

Eat less and exercise more, such that your calorie expenditure exceeds your calorie intake by a significant daily total, and you will lose weight. All else is bullshit, waffle and pseudo-scientific claptrap.

No. Even if you're right about the calories in/out, there are many different ways of achieving that deficit, and each method may have very different effects on your appetite, blood sugar levels and general health, all of which plays a major part in how effective that diet may be for you personally. Much of what you call the bullshit is not denying the calories in/out thing per se, it's just looking at different ways of doing it. Eating sugary foods makes me crave more and makes me hungry again much more quickly than eating other things. That's not bullshit.

Some people (largely the low-carbers) do disagree somewhat with the calories in/out principle, but there seems to be some science to that.

In any case, this thread isn't about bullshit or science, it's about getting yourself into good, sensible eating habits so that you don't need to spend your life obsessively weighing, measuring and logging your food (which is no way to live, imo, and may encourage people to have an unhealthy relationship with food).

Lovingit81 · 15/02/2018 12:28

Yes OP this is how most naturally slim people are slim. It's common sense and always baffles me that so many people haven't worked it out yet. Congratulations and enjoy x

IVFNewbie · 15/02/2018 12:31

Eat less, do more. 4 words. Easy.

Bettyfood · 15/02/2018 13:59

So It's easy to lose weight? All the overweight people must be stupid, then. Hmm

MsHarry · 15/02/2018 16:20

No I think most people want quick fixes and get bored when they don't see results quick enough or they get bored of the restrictions.

SleightOfMind · 15/02/2018 16:30

I was just the same as a teen OP.
I saw a picture of myself at 14 in a swimsuit (I didn’t know it was being taken or I would have hidden!).
I was 16 then and realised I looked fine. I’d spent the whole if that holiday miserable about my weight.
I forced myself to get on with life and stop beating myself up for not being a supermodel.
No more diets, worrying about how I looked or what I ate.
The weight melted off and I’ve never regained it.
I eat whatever I want, whenever I want it and it works.

losingmymindiam · 15/02/2018 22:07

The people saying it is easy just eat less and move more...perhaps you should get a job solving the obesity crisis because obviously everyone is doing it wrong! The premise of every diet is eat less and move more and of course that works if you can manage to do it forever. And herein lies the problem. Most overweight people have a complex, disordered relationship with food. This is what needs to be fixed and this is what the OP is talking about in her method.

theredjellybean · 15/02/2018 22:24

No Betty.. They are not stupid, but mostly they are greedy and encouraged by a society that equate food to emotions... All the adds tgat say 'treat yourself' and attach that phrase to food... 'you deserve it' again attached to food.
People are brainwashed into believing that food is a balm, a soother, a panacea and they deserve to feel nice, happy etc... And we genuinely have lost sight of what are bodies need. This is encouraged by diet clubs such as slimming World talking about syns and free food and snacks etc.
We fear hunger and probably very few of us have ever been Truely starving hungry.
It's easy to eat less but it's not easy to shift your brain from our ingrained beliefs and habits.
You never see an add for say trainers with some one doing a run with the slogan 'go on treat yourself' yet we know that exercise makes people feel good, happy, aids recovery from depression... Yet we see food portrayed in this way.
When people can move away from that then this way of living and eating is obviously

ChocOrCheese · 16/02/2018 14:29

@jellybean - I agree. I would also comment that exercise can be a double-edged sword. It's wonderful in so many ways, but as a weight loss tool not so much. To shift a meaningful amount of calories in the gym means working bloody hard. Sauntering on a treadmill for half an hour does next to nothing. But people often a) overestimate how many calories they have burned and then reward themselves with food more calorific than what they have burned or b) eat too little to sustain the heavy workouts they are doing, causing metabolic issues or hunger that cannot be ignored, resulting in over-eating.

theredjellybean · 16/02/2018 14:35

So true chocorcheese... I run three times a week and am stunned by how few calories I burn... Despite a solid plodding run of 8-10km I burn about 600-700 calories. If I then had a latte and cheese toastie that's all those calories straight back on.

I see my time spent running as my treat, my me time... I don't think about the calories worn off as something I can then eat back

MsHarry · 16/02/2018 16:41

jelly I think that's loads of calories! How do you work it out?

VladmirsPoutine · 16/02/2018 16:42

You have found 'common-sense' well done!

theredjellybean · 16/02/2018 22:47

Do you mean how do I work out the calories I have run off?... Map my run tells me.
If you mean how do I know a latte and cheese toastie is about 600 calories.. Well I don't exactly, but last week I had cheese marmite dough dough toastie in EAT, and noticed it was 512 calories... So I am making educated guess

theredjellybean · 16/02/2018 22:48

Sadly my 10krun takes an hr and half and enormous motivation an effort... I want it to burn of a squillion calories not 600

MsHarry · 17/02/2018 09:42

Yes I meant how do you know how many it has burnt off. When I try various calculators they are always wildly different . For an hour of energetic zumba some say 200 and others 600!

theredjellybean · 17/02/2018 11:43

i have used various run apps over last 5 yrs and they are all about the same for running, i have premium map my run now and it lets you put in your weight, height, age and it reflects calories burnt due to hills etc...my standard 10 km run is quite hilly, and if i do my standard plod round ( i am as slow as a disabled tortoise ) i usually burn 600 - 650 calories every time. I burn more if i run faster, so i run fast on the flat bits to try to make my km split time faster so i appear to burn more calories..not sure is this actaully works or not :)

MrsJoshDun · 17/02/2018 12:48

I’ve just run 5k in 35 mins this morning and Garmin says I’ve burned 360 calories. It certainly wouldn’t take much food to get those calories back.

bluepears · 17/02/2018 12:59

its easy burn more calories than you take in its impossible to lose weight when not in a caloric defect
evidence first law of thermodynamics ΔU=Q+W

ChocOrCheese · 17/02/2018 13:36

I burn between 450 and 600 calories in an hour at the gym. i use a heart rate monitor (which has details of my height, weight, age etc) and the more I am at the high end of my heart rate range the more calories I burn. So it makes sense if Jelly's app is crediting more calores burned if she makes a faster time. I expect the heart rate will have had to be more elevated to make that time. That said, I think I actually burn more calories than my HRM credits me for when I lift weights, because my heart rate stays on the low side for the effort I am putting in. Like jelly I don't count the calories in order to reward myself with food, though.

TheShapeofYou · 18/02/2018 09:38

Mummadeeze Snap Sad I never feel full...and I love the feeling. Have always had a massive appetite, ate Mum out of house and home etc I'm struggling to maintain a healthy BMI now I'm pushing 40.

I am having tests at the moment and am now on iron tablets three times a day for anaemia (I eat more when tired so, this helps). I thought it might be my thyroid so had that checked and it's fine. I think it's just me. Don't know what the legal answer is.

Great thread OP, thanks for starting it. And well done Smile

BlurryFace · 18/02/2018 09:42

What has helped me is recognising what I can't have in the house. Sweet biscuits, certain crisps, large chocolatey desserts...I can't stick to one.