To think I’ve found the secret to losing weight and keeping it off!

[Mummybo88]

Posted in weight loss but don’t know if anyone read it, so posting here for traffic.

I feel really passionate about this and I’m hoping it might help some of you the way it helped me.

I’ve had problems when it comes to food since about the age of 12 or 13. Up until then I was very slim & very active. Anyway, by the age of 15, I found myself very overweight. This prompted a cycle of me trying to cut a million & one things from my diet, having some small successes but then falling off the wagon, giving into my bodies cravings and feeling like a failure. Cue the self loathing, subsequent binging and weight gain.

I went through years of this. I tried everything. At one point, I even lost 3 stone but, lo and behold, I eventually gained it back and then some.

Anyway, one day it dawned on me that what was destroying me was all the rules. I never listened to my body, I didn’t trust myself to listen to my body. Days when I went to bed hungry felt like a success. In all honesty, I had sort of lost the ability to listen to my body. I’d become a slave to this diet - binge cycle.

Anyway, I decided to try something which felt very, very daunting. I decided to forget all the rules and try to learn to listen to my body again. I was terrified that I’d find myself living off chocolate brownies but guess what, it didn’t happen!

My initial focus was to really start concentrating on stopping eating at the moment I started to feel full. This wasn’t as hard as I thought because I felt safe in the knowledge that if I felt hungry again, i would just eat something else. Overtime, my cravings for all these “forbidden foods” lessened because they were no longer forbidden. When I used to diet, I’d spend my days fantasising about all of the foods I wasn’t allowed but now the everything was allowed, I’d find myself craving porridge for breakfast or a banana for a snack.

I also vowed to get out of the habit of weighing myself everyday. Initially, I’d do once a week and now I’m probably once a month (or whenever I remember to!!). The thing is, my weight on the scales each morning was dictating how much I ate that day. That’s just ludicrous when you think about it.

The other thing I realised is that some days you’ll eat more than others. If you have a day where you are more hungry and you find yourself eating more, don’t beat yourself up about it! You’ll find yourself eating less another day and it’ll all balance out.

I broke the diet/ binge cycle and I’ve weighed in the region of 8stone 10 - 9stone for the past 4 years. Other than my two pregnancies and both times, i lost the weight following this way of eating.

I eat cake, sweets & chocolate, but I also eat fish, vegetables & fruit. There’s a reason why 95% of people who go on a diet regain the weight within a year.

This has really worked for me and I hope it can help some of you. It’s by no means an overnight fix. The weight won’t just disappear in a few weeks, but it will come off and stay off. I know everyone’s different and what works for one person may not be so good for someone else but this has really changed my life and I can now enjoy food in a way I never could before.

I hope this can be of help smile

Worra. Yes I agree. But that's my point. A huge amount of people who are overweight are not overweight because they don't know what to do , what choices to make or how to eat healthily, they are overweight because of complex emotional issues in relation to food. It can be anything from child hood experiences to life as an adult, the relarionship is complex. And can often be a vicious circle. I feel shit so I'll eat more to feel better. Many people use food as a balm. A comfort. Telling them there is no rules and eat what you fancy till you feel full will not work for them.

And I'd argue its most significantly overweight people. If we all had a logical unemotional attachment to food, few people would be overweight. Few would have eating disorders.

And that's why I'm telling the op her advice can be dangerous and won't work for many.

I'd say it probably won't work for those who use food to stifle their emotions etc, but then again you could argue that most diets won't work for those people either.

There are many overweight people who use food as you describe, but equally there are many who just overeat because they're used to overfeeding themselves, due to average portion sizes getting bigger, takeaways being readily available/delivered at the touch of a few buttons, etc...etc.

If that leads them to yo-yo dieting and a never ending circle of carb counting/calorie counting/denying themselves the food they fancy, then the OP's way of eating (which is the way many 'naturally' slim people eat) could well work.

Well I'm going to try it. Cut my wine out in January and thought the weight would fall off. Well it hasn't bar a couple of pounds. Shall try this mindful approach. Thank you

Bluntness do you think a diet would work for one of those people with such complex emotional issues dictating the way they eat?

Having been a sufferer of bulimia and anorexia, learning to listen to my body has really revolutionised the way I think about food. Somehow, my emotions don’t seem to dictate my eating habits now, whereas they ruled it before. Food seems much more like fuel now. I thoroughly enjoy eating, don’t get me wrong, but I’m eating because I’m hungry now (or to stick with the analogy, I’m eating because the tank is empty and needs more fuel).

As I’ve said before, I can’t say if this will have the same effect in others but it certainly did for me.

Good luck Amyerda. Think of it as going back to basics have patience with yourself and feel free to pm me if you need any help

That's great OP, well done. Don't know why you're getting a hard time. Can I ask how much you've lost and over how long? I think I'd find that hard because I have a family to cook for so I just fall into that pattern. If on my own I probably wouldn't eat much at night.

Bluntness - but when I was overweight, I didn't have any real idea of what/how to eat to get and stay slim, even though I'd grown up in a fairly healthy household (very limited junk) and ate a lot of salads too but portion sizes were huge. I ate too much.

When I joined Slimming World it really did change the way I viewed food, dealt with food etc. It educated me and set me on track.

When I put weight on the second time, after being pregnant & giving birth twice, although I was aware of how to do it I was just in a junk food cycle. Mindlessly eating.

Since then I didn't follow any diet or go back to Slimming World or calorie count, I just cooked healthy food and watched my portion sizes and didn't have all the biscuits in the land every day as before.

It worked for me but it might not work for everyone, sure. My mum tried organised diets and she found them too depriving of junk not food! They were full of food but she wanted junk and didn't want the guilt trip of being weighed every week when she knew she had not made any effort to curb the junk intake let alone follow the diet. She is definitely an emotional eater. I think she sees it as a combination of comfort/"treat yo'self"/sack it, I'm over 50, who cares/Teresa down the road is fatter than me so I'm still ok... but she does care when she wants to go out and look good, or she sees Mary down the road who is slimmer than her,. She has lots of willpower for other situations (money/saving/being reliable and responsible) but when it comes to food she can just literally stuff her mouth. I don't even think she tastes it let alone savours it (probably because she feels guilty). It's like no amount of food would be enough. if there was a cake, she'd eat that. If there were two, she'd eat those. If there were three... well go on then... etc... she finds it really hard to stop. Which is why I've advised her simply not to buy this stuff in.

It's all very complex.

2000 calories a day

This has a lot to answer for. I'm 5ft 5, I don't need 200 cals most days, more like 1500. Still thats 200 Breakfast, 500 lunch and 700 dinner and 100 snacks/milk in tea.More than enough.

MsHarry I lost just over 3 stone. I lost that weight over about a year and have kept it off by learning to stop when I’m full and eating again when I’m hungry. This is definitely not a quick fix. It’s so easily maintained though. I now know I’ll always be slim, I have no worry about gaining weight because I just can’t see it happening. I enjoy my food, eat a healthy amount of food and have a balanced diet. I’m also active (just through walking). You really have to ditch the scales for while for this to work. Weighing yourself will sabotage it.

Thankyou mummy for sharing your story. You talk a lot of sense imo. I am going to give it a whirl myself x

I lost 10lbs doing that OP. No dieting, no counting just listening to my body and not overeating. I got good habits, did exercise and felt great and stopped binging on biscuits. Then came Christmas and I are loads and it put me out. I'm trying to get back in the zone.

Well done though Anymajordude for the 10lbs. Try not to see it as something you’re either doing or not doing. The only change you need to make is to always listen to your body. You can have a few deserts at Xmas, that’s fine, don’t feel like a failure for that. The minute you start feeling defeated is the minute everything crumbles. Don’t let yourself feel guilty for eating a pudding or two, that’s normal! it’ll all balance out as long as you keep listening to your bodies cues. Good luck!

That brilliant op. I’m not overweight but I think it’s s good plan. I noticed when my dc were little they’d have hungry days and days they’d not want much. Natural I suppose if we tune in to our bodies .

Well done @Mummybo88 for finding a way that suits you. What's seems to work for me is telling myself that I have a choice to eat what I want whenever I'm hungry but with that choice comes consequences if I eat sugary carbs I know that I'll feel bloated and lethargic so it's better that I a to eat healthy good quality food most of the time. If I don't have a choice of what I eat then I rebel and eat too much or poor food

There's more to my plan that I'll post tomo as I'm watching tv

bye for now

Hi Mummy - thank you for the post, very interesting. I wanted to ask you what do you drink everyday, is it just water or do you drink fizzy drinks? I see that you don't drink much alcohol and neither do I, but I seemed addicted to Diet Coke, which I think had a direct relationship on how hungry I felt, and made me crave sugary and calorie laden stuff.

Thanks!

This thread is very interesting.
I've enjoyed reading OP's and Bluntness's posts.

I'm so glad you found something that worked for you, OP.

For most people trying to lose weight, it isn't enough to "listen to your body". Losing weight means eating less than your body needs, and at best, our bodies tell us to eat what we need, if not a good deal more than what we need.

Or basically, what Bluntness said, much better than I did.

I do 5:2 because it's a long term lifestyle change not a diet. When I get to goal weight I'll do 6:1.

I’m kind of doing this. Last couple of weeks only eating when hungry rather than getting up having breakfast, having lunch because it’s 12:00, having an evening meal because it’s 6pm.

So yesterday I wasn’t hungry until 11am and I had a banana. Normally I would have had breakfast at 8, being starving again by 10:30.

Some evenings I’ve just had toast rather than a meal.

Have lost 3kg in 2 weeks.

Interesting posts from OP and Bluntness.

6 miles a day is a lot of walking OP. Do you find it easy to adjust your food intake if you have to stop for any length of time?

Inspired by OP I am going to take the plunge. I agree with Worra that it wouldn't work for everyone but I think I'm a candidate for whom it could work. I've battled with the same two stone my whole life, never been skinny even as a little girl. I'm happy at 11 stone, I'm quite tall so look reasonable at that weight.
For me it's stopping eating that's the problem. I don't snack much but eat huge meals. Promising myself that I won't eat unless I'm hungry, that I will eat more slowly and stop when I'm full would make a massive difference to me. I often continue to eat after I'm full.
I would just love to escape the diet trap, even if I just maintained my current weight (about 12 stone), I'd be better off then yoyoing as I have been doing for 38 years. I often think it's one of the things I will regret about my life, my obsession with eating, my constant belief that I'm fat and the continual absence of any normal eating habits.

Bluntness... I used food as the answer to all my emotions, I ate Cus I was bored, lonely, happy, stressed... But a lot of emotions were actually a result of eating and the dysfunctional relationship I had with food. For example I felt bored, 'treated' myself to a donut, felt bad guilty Cus donuts 'bad', so them ate more donuts to make myself feel better. When I removed the connection of good /bad and emotions to food, by removing the rules I found that I naturally didn't overeat.
I sometimes ate a donut but as it was no longer 'bad' and naughty I didn't have any guilt and then didn't need to ameliorate that guilt with more food.

So I disagree, this way of eating and viewing food is excellent for those who overeat for complex emotional reasons.

I have learnt to deal with emotions and life's stresses in a much healthier way.

I lost about 4.5stone over 9 months, more than 7 yrs ago and now see food as yes a pleasure but not a panacea

theredjellybean - that is exactly what has happened to me. I don’t seem to eat for any emotional reasons any more. It’s something to do with taking the guilt out of the equation. Pleased to hear you’ve had the same success with this way of eating. Well done on your weight loss

MrsJosh Well done that's fab! I think you're right, we do get into set patterns especially with family to feed and I want to set good habits for them and not talk about diets so I always eat with them . I did 5:2 for a while and it taught me that hunger often relies on cues to eat. So if I showered and dressed before going into the kitchen I realised I wasn't actually hungry and waited until 11.

only try loading your plate with veg and eat them first before other foods. If they're fibrous they'll fill you up so you eat less of the calorific stuff.