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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve found the secret to losing weight and keeping it off!

234 replies

Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 10:38

Posted in weight loss but don’t know if anyone read it, so posting here for traffic.

I feel really passionate about this and I’m hoping it might help some of you the way it helped me.

I’ve had problems when it comes to food since about the age of 12 or 13. Up until then I was very slim & very active. Anyway, by the age of 15, I found myself very overweight. This prompted a cycle of me trying to cut a million & one things from my diet, having some small successes but then falling off the wagon, giving into my bodies cravings and feeling like a failure. Cue the self loathing, subsequent binging and weight gain.

I went through years of this. I tried everything. At one point, I even lost 3 stone but, lo and behold, I eventually gained it back and then some.

Anyway, one day it dawned on me that what was destroying me was all the rules. I never listened to my body, I didn’t trust myself to listen to my body. Days when I went to bed hungry felt like a success. In all honesty, I had sort of lost the ability to listen to my body. I’d become a slave to this diet - binge cycle.

Anyway, I decided to try something which felt very, very daunting. I decided to forget all the rules and try to learn to listen to my body again. I was terrified that I’d find myself living off chocolate brownies but guess what, it didn’t happen!

My initial focus was to really start concentrating on stopping eating at the moment I started to feel full. This wasn’t as hard as I thought because I felt safe in the knowledge that if I felt hungry again, i would just eat something else. Overtime, my cravings for all these “forbidden foods” lessened because they were no longer forbidden. When I used to diet, I’d spend my days fantasising about all of the foods I wasn’t allowed but now the everything was allowed, I’d find myself craving porridge for breakfast or a banana for a snack.

I also vowed to get out of the habit of weighing myself everyday. Initially, I’d do once a week and now I’m probably once a month (or whenever I remember to!!). The thing is, my weight on the scales each morning was dictating how much I ate that day. That’s just ludicrous when you think about it.

The other thing I realised is that some days you’ll eat more than others. If you have a day where you are more hungry and you find yourself eating more, don’t beat yourself up about it! You’ll find yourself eating less another day and it’ll all balance out.

I broke the diet/ binge cycle and I’ve weighed in the region of 8stone 10 - 9stone for the past 4 years. Other than my two pregnancies and both times, i lost the weight following this way of eating.

I eat cake, sweets & chocolate, but I also eat fish, vegetables & fruit. There’s a reason why 95% of people who go on a diet regain the weight within a year.

This has really worked for me and I hope it can help some of you. It’s by no means an overnight fix. The weight won’t just disappear in a few weeks, but it will come off and stay off. I know everyone’s different and what works for one person may not be so good for someone else but this has really changed my life and I can now enjoy food in a way I never could before.

I hope this can be of help smile

OP posts:
Vestly · 13/02/2018 11:34

Well done OP and congratulations on finding your way back to normal eating. It's a huge achievement. Flowers

Teetotal2018 · 13/02/2018 11:36

I think that also realising that it's ok to feel hungry is a good thing too this is spot on. I have a friend who literally panics when shes hungry and won’t shut up about it.

allegretto · 13/02/2018 11:36

I think you are right OP. I have never been on a diet, never weigh myself (except when I was pregnant) and have never been overweight - the three are definitely connected.

Fairenuff · 13/02/2018 11:38

I think a lot of people who diet have eating disorders. They like the ritual of controlling the calories/food but also need to splurge now and again. This keeps them in the loss/gain diet loop. It's the ED controlling them really.

That's why you're getting some negative replies. The ED does not want to be 'cured'.

But you're right of course. Your way of eating is the healthy way.

Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 11:39

WaxOnFeckOff every person is unique but I just wanted to balance your point out. I normally have 3 meals a day and snacks. I don’t count calories but I’d be surprised if I’m much less than 2,000 a day. I walk 6 miles every day though as I don’t have a car and walk the school run.

Everyone is different, you may eat 1,000 calories and someone else, 3,000. This way of eating is not really about calories. It’s about trusting your body’s cues.

OP posts:
Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 11:40

Well done on keeping your weight off WaxOnFeckOff sounds like you’ve done amazingly well Flowers

OP posts:
NotSoSprightly · 13/02/2018 11:42

Well done OP.

Ignore the rude posters who think they're funny.

The sentiment is nice but all of your post is pure common sense.

Of which a lot of people obviously don't have.

VimFuego101 · 13/02/2018 11:44

I agree with you, OP, but overcoming the psychological issues that create disordered eating patterns or the need to keep eating when you're full is a hugely complex issue, so it takes a little more than 'just common sense'. I agree that if you can adopt that mindset of listening to your body and stopping when you're full, it's far better than any fad diet.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 13/02/2018 11:45

I am currently trying to reduce the amount of added sugar that I eat. Won't say that I never eat chocolate or drink wine but am trying to make sure that most of my food is actual, nutritious food and not crisps/cake or other junk.
And yy, to accepting that we don't need to be 'full' all the time - it's okay to feel a bit hungry.
I'm trying to lose weight in a way that I can stick to, that is 'normal' eating and trying to fix little health niggles that might be due to not eating well enough.
It is common sense, but it is surprisingly hard to do, if you've spent years dieting!

WaxOnFeckOff · 13/02/2018 11:46

I see what you are saying OP but I'm a bit of a control freak and having an awareness of the calorie content helps me to make better choices. I still eat everything and balance it out over the week, but as I've shown, when I don't weigh myself or make a conscious effort, I can maintain a weight without trying. It's just that the weight I was maintaining was 2 stone more than I wanted to be.

I'm comfortable that with a bit of making a more conscious effort I can get that off and then maintain at a lower level when I've re-educated my brain and appetite.

I have only about 3/4s of a stone to get to a healthy BMI but I'd like to build a bit of leeway and get closer to 21.

Helendee · 13/02/2018 11:47

OP some people are pure vitriol and unpleasant, ignore them.

Thanks for posting this, I have a lot of weight to lose and zero willpower so will be giving this a try.

upsideup · 13/02/2018 11:49

Agree, that is the only way to be a healthy size.
Anything else is a scam, dosnt work at all, only works short term or encourages disordered eating which will quickly get out of controll.

Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 11:50

To those mentioning eating disorders, this is close to home for me. I did have spells of anorexia and bulimia when I was younger. I didn’t want to complicate my OP by going into that side of it but since it’s been mentioned, I’ll go with it.

I had CBT which was helpful but I felt that I’d always be someone who was battling eating disorders and that I’d never be able to see food the way others do. I probably still have some of the psychological issues I had before that caused the EDs but they don’t come to the surface via my food and eating habits anymore. I’ve somehow managed to separate the two. I’m obviously not an expert in how EDs work and I can only discuss my own experience but this seems to have helped me.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2018 11:51

Agree, that is the only way to be a healthy size.

Rubbish. I’m glad the op’s way works for her (and I’m sure it works for others) but there isn’t one way to have a good relationship with food and be a healthy weight.

Helendee · 13/02/2018 11:51

Do any of you think the 'fat' gene actually exists? I'm inclined to think it does.
My late father's family were all big people, I am a lot bigger than my sister and was as a child despite eating the same things as her and bring far more active.
My daughter battles her weight constantly as does one of my sons but not the other two boys and my daughter's twin girls are significantly different in size.
Who knows?

PineappleTits · 13/02/2018 11:51

I think it's great you've found something that works. A lot of it is your mentality especially as you've had problems with food for a long time. I think you should be very proud of yourself OP - ignore the sarcasm.

upsideup · 13/02/2018 11:52

PurpleDaisies

How else then?

Married3Children · 13/02/2018 11:53

The sentiment is nice but all of your post is pure common sense.

Of which a lot of people obviously don't have.

I would rather say that a lot of people have forgotten this is the most important thing they need to do in the middle of all the very conflicting advice laden with guilt tripping we constantly hear.

Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 11:53

Married3Children I completely agree with that.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2018 11:54

What I’ve said above. Meal planning around healthy meals and making a conscious choice not to eat too much junk. I aim for 80% “good” and don’t worry about the rest.

Corcory · 13/02/2018 11:57

I've done something similar Mummy but I have also decided not to eat until I am actually hungry. So today I will eat for the first time very shortly. I will have boiled eggs as they really fill you up and I don't feel hungry till tea. So I have cut out all the snacking - have no desire to snack and eat a 'normal' evening meal that the whole family eats. I may well have a pudding or a snack later but I can if I want.
Lost 2 stone so far doing this.

RealityHasALiberalBias · 13/02/2018 11:57

This is Susie Orbach's method in Fat Is A Feminist Issue.

wetrebecca · 13/02/2018 11:58

This is what works for me. There's a great book called Brain over Binge talking about the same theory.

Tough at first but a revelation.

Desmondo2016 · 13/02/2018 11:58

OP well done. I totally agree with your post and it is how I live, and maintaining my ideal weight/figure. As normal when it comes to weightloss conversations the people who aren't disciplined or motivated enough to actually get off their fat arses and do something about it that works, like to have a dig at those who are.

And it's nothing like slimming world or weightwatchers. It's not to do with losing weight... if you have a lot to lose then tracking and calculating a healthy calorie deficit will always be the quickest way. It's about maintenance and healthy living whilst being able to still enjoy life.

Mummybo88 · 13/02/2018 11:58

Tough at first but a revelation. this sums it up perfectly!

OP posts:
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