Mother in Law Holiday

[Starlive22]

Hello ladies!
Just wondering what other people's opinions on this...
Expecting our first baby on 24th March!!
Basically, to cut a long story short my MIL had planned a holiday to Spain on 10th - 20th March. Which she booked after she knew we were expecting.

We are currently under consultant care as I've had a few problems during the pregnancy, one of which being polyhydramnios (too much fluid) and it shows no sign of going away at the moment. Baby is measuring very large (95%) and so there has been talk of inducing\ c section early, though nothing definite at the mo.

Basically if MIL goes on holiday there is a good chance she will miss baby's arrival. It's their first grandchild, though as she has said she would be upset if she missed it, she hadn't mentioned not going, in fact she's confirmed she isn't changing her plans. She goes to this villa with her cousins every year, so not like a once in a lifetime holiday.

Don't know if I'm just being hormonal but feeling sad about this. My mum will be here, but of course I want MIL here for my husband. She might regret it later.

Sorry it's so long! I can really ramble on!

@pinguforpresident sweeping statements such as these are a pet hate of mine. 3 consultants and a chief supervising midwife all recommended exactly what you’re saying is so rare and told me it was relatively common (and I’ve certainly since become aware of multiple other women in exactly same situation). I’m not particularly tiny but my baby was clearly far too big for me to birth naturally. His head would not engage. All experts told me I’d clearly go to 42 weeks and be induced at which point lo would be well over 11 pounds and would probably end up in an emergency c section anyway so to just have an elective, which I did and loved. If the op is being advised similarly I’m not surprised.

Um. Nobody really cares about your baby's arrival bar you and your DH

What a nasty and untrue comment. Just because you have such a miserable and spiteful outlook on life, doesn't mean everyone does.

@Matildathecat....my elective C's was done 3 to 4 weeks before due date? Where are you getting your facts from?

Tabby Nice guidelines and a long career in midwifery.

There will be times such as in the presence of placental insufficiency, when the risks of continuing a pregnancy outweigh the risks of preterm delivery but this is considered on an individual basis.

[1.4.1 Timing of planned CS

1.4.1.1 The risk of respiratory morbidity is increased in babies born by CS before labour, but this risk decreases significantly after 39 weeks. Therefore planned CS should not routinely be carried out before 39 weeks. [2004]

My in laws didn't come to see grandchild for three weeks and they only live a 10 minute drive away. They had expected us to go to them or to be collected and driven to us. My DH said it was their loss, but it did upset him deeply.

Matildatecat.....as you know then, there are many occasions when it's not done at 39 weeks, so you should not have quoted it as fact that they are done at 39 weeks in this country.

Reading my last reply I've made that sound totally wrong.

Sorry what I meant was when I go back at 36 weeks (week after next) they will discuss early induction or c section then. Not that I would have it at 36 weeks, as they said they would not intervene before 37 weeks. Sorry if that was unclear!

The worry I think is that I'm so big my waters will break on their own and they would rather I was in hospital when they break.

Have as much time to yourselves as you can. My parents, as I said 'up thread' went on holiday and weren't around for the birth of their first grandchild who was born by c-section....then they returned from their trip two weeks later invited themselves for Christmas. My (now ex) DH and I cooked Christmas dinner for them! ( and they wonder why relationships between us are strained)

This wouldn't worry me, for whatever reason lots of grandparents aren't there for the actual birth of a grandchild, it doesn't mean they love their grandchildren any less.

My mum went on a pre booked holiday with my entire family (brother, sisters, nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles, literally my entire family!!) 5 days before my second son was due. I was fine with it as a) we had no way of knowing when he'd arrive and b)it was an annual trip back to my families home town in Cornwall for the regatta, had I not been quite so pg, I'd have been there too! As it was ds2 was born the day after they all left Mum drove home, cuddled her new grandson, took a million pictures to show the rest of the family, filled our fridge with food and then drove back to finish her holiday. We were fine with it.

My in-laws were away when my first dd was born at 36 weeks when I was 19. It wasn't a big deal at all. They seen her when they got back. My dad was away when my second dd was born as she was two weeks early. It happens.

But you're obviously not as self obsessed as the OP @fucksake.

If your delivery turns out rough and based on your description it is unfortunately more likely, then you will probably be grateful for the breathing room to recover.

Your MIL's potential regret is her problem and she may not be able to get a refund on trip.

Tbh, in one way or another I find all pregnant women (myself included) to be more self-obsessed then non-pregnant ones and it's something women probably forget once they're no longer knocked up.

Although self and baby obsessed might be a more accurate description.

Kinda hard not to be obsessed though when the pregnancy is complicated.

I wish my MIL would head off on holiday. Preferably a very very long one!

Things have changed now anyway as I've had to go into hospital for kidney problems. None of this is likely to be relevant anymore but thanks for replies. Things literally changed overnight so the consultant will be reviewing things in the next few days depending on how things pick up.

Thanks again everyone and fingers crossed x