(TW: OCD) To be sick of people wishing they were mentally ill

[OCDisAWanker]

Whenever I mention I have OCD (it's sometimes unfortunately obvious, for example my desk at work and paperwork) someone almost always says one of the following

"Oooh your house must be so so clean!"
"I wish I had OCD, my house might be clean then!"
"Come and clean my house hahaha"
"You can come and sort my house/car/delete as appropriate out for me if you want".
And if someone sees my home for the first time they're often surprised that while it's 90% clean and very tidy and orderly it's not immaculate.

I really resent the implication that I'm either
A- in love with housework
B- ready to be someone else's skivvy
C- hospital grade kind of clean
and I also resent people saying they actually want OCD as if OCD has anything to do with being clean and even if it does for that individual it's not a good thing!! OCD can come in lots of forms and IME a lot of people who are very clean and have OCD generally are terrified of germs and illness. Not necessarily a love of cleaning. This is the case with everybody at a support group I attend. For example one lady hates the act of cleaning. But she's terrified that if she doesn't perform certain tasks (cleaning the toilet, sink, sides and so forth 8x a day exactly) her son will catch a horrific illness and die. Sorry but how can anybody wish they're kept in a constant anxiety ridden and unhappy state terrified their young son will die? I suppose they don't, they just want a clean house but nobody thinks it's ok to say "I wish I was suicidal" "I wish I was depressed" "I wish I had anxiety" "I wish I had bipolar" I have never heard those statements.

So they panic over the likes of getting Ebola or hiv if they don't disenfectant their sink 10 times a day. I don't have that. I have an issue with certain things (like my desk) being orderly but my OCD tends to otherwise have nowt to do with cleanliness and to be honest my non ocd mother has a house much cleaner than mine.

I'm writing this partially for a rant after having more of the same comments yesterday and partially because I hope that at least one person who thinks it's ok to say these things will stop and if you aren't going to please just don't say them around someone who has OCD. It's so hard to hear those things when you're battling it daily just to function.

Help -Thats kind of what i thought, but since some posters used the word 'recovered', I thought i'd ask. You never know, there might be something else we haven't tried .

I've suffered with eating disorders and OCD in the past, I think I'll always have low level OCD, and I know that I'm always vulnerable to it happening again with the 'right' triggers. I'd never consider myself cured.

Having said that, hearing the 'oh I wish I had a bit of that!' comments don't seem to bother me greatly. I'm not sure why that is, but for some reason, there seems to be a sliding scale of how 'serious' some MH are, and OCD and anorexia can be seen, through a murky, ignorant filter, to have 'benefits' ie. a neat and tidy house and being slim.

That's the only reason I can think why those two MH issues are viewed differently, sometimes. Maybe I"m able to reason that out when I hear comments, and while I roll my eyes and think 'ffs', it doesn't make me particularly angry.

I totally agree Op. I have OCD and battle constant negative thoughts. I am sick of saying i have OCD and everyone saying oh so what everyone has OCD. I even have it because I [insert tidying anecdote]. I feel.constantly belittled, as if my thoughts are being normalised when they are far from it.

I would describe myself as a bit OCD. I have awful intrusive thoughts sometimes.
I have to check things all the time and sometimes find it hard to leave the car or go to bed as I have to check one more time.
Worse of all is the compulsive twitching and eye flicking.
However I mainly manage to hide most of it and have never had an actual diagnosis.
Unfortunately my LOs seem to have inherited some of these tendencies.

I suppose it must be some attempt at empathising but it people don’t think it through.

The media tells simplistic stories all the time though - we know what it’s like to be Andy Murray because we’ve seen him talk about how he feels after winning Wimbledon, or Chris Hoy. The idea that we can get inside the head of a top athlete or that the fans really did make all the difference is another kind of patronising tosh.

We know what it’s like to be on benefits as we’ve seen that on this morning and they can afford gallons of prosecco.

I think this is where the lines are blurred. Describing yourself as a bit OCD, is like saying I’m a bit autistic. There is nothing wrong with truly thinking you might have OCD or truly thinking you might have autism etc. However it were that debilitating for you, you would or should seek help.

There are diagnostic criteria for a reason, to help people, I would hope.

I agree i have safety ocd where i check doors windows and the cooker. Takes me a hour every evening to get it all checked to go to bed. I check many many times and before i go out. Its horrible and i cannot control the urges. People who wish they had a form of ocd make me sick.

Totally agree. I have really severe OCD. A few years so I had CBT that helped but I can feel it creeping back again and at its worst it’s debilitating.

In addition, I saw a poster writer everyone’s on the autistic spectrum somewhere. No they’re not. The autistic spectrum is not a linear thing that everyone sits on.

OCD and ASD are treated like a fashion accessory. Fucks me off.

It's hard to explain to people that don't understand, the abject terror that grips your chest and takes your breath away every minute of the day. The difference between 'I like things just right' and 'people will suffer and die if I don't do this'

There’s a big difference between OCD and obsessive personality. The first causes a lot of emotional pain, the next fits in with how someone sees themselves

My son has Obsessional Compulsive Behaviour - has to match things up. A friend goes on about her OCD - which is really obsessional personality. Really annoys me - because she doesn’t understand the pain he suffers - and thinks it’s the same as her need to clean (which she is happy about).

'I'm a little bit OCD' . Is it acceptable to say 'I'm a little bit disabled'? No! It isn't so cut the OCD comment grr!

I regularly pull people up and include a link to OCD-UK where it explains about how debilitating it is and it mentions about the WHO too.

I don’t think you can expect people to really understand unless they have actually experienced it.

My DH has got OCD. He’s probably always had it, but it became really bad around 2 years ago. It is absolutely heartbreaking seeing someone who had professional career in the NHS, being distressed about whether he put ‘enough’ soap on to wash his hands or did he really flush the toilet? - when he just did it 2 seconds ago. He can’t do anything for himself now, even getting dressed, because it’s just too overwhelming for him.

He checks everything that he does as he needs to feel that everything has been done ‘properly’. He does mental checking which is the most difficult thing to overcome.

He is having psychotherapy which has made some difference, but not that much yet. Tbh I wonder whether he will ever be overcome this now as his problems just seem so complex

One on my DC has it and is housebound. He certainly isn't a 'little bit OCD'! 😡

YANBU, I have postnatal OCD, it is hell on earth. I have only told a very select few about it because I doubt I would be believed as my house is of the cosy but lived in variety a shit tip

In addition, I saw a poster writer everyone’s on the autistic spectrum somewhere. No they’re not. The autistic spectrum is not a linear thing that everyone sits on.

They acting said this in our autism training by so called experts.

I have OCD. Mine manifests itself in food; avoidance of certain foods and food preparation/potential contamination. To people who don't understand, I am that most irritating and unforgivable of people "the adult fussy eater". I have lived with this since childhood and at times of high stress I also have counting rituals/magical thinking and instrusive thoughts. I have had two courses of CBT and more counselling than I care to remember, which has helped with the latter issues, but the food issues remain, and I have accepted that it will always be part of my life.

I do find it annoying when people claim to have OCD simply because they have to have their tins all facing the same direction. I feel that it undermines what I go through every time I am faced with a challenge such as someone offering me food that I haven't prepared myself.

@EducationCity
My OCD was a manifestation of PND, rather than the illness of OCD on its own. My recovery was linked to the lessening of that PND, as the hormones returned to a normal balance, do did my MH.
I’m still more anxious than I was, I’m awake now as I’m obsessing over something but it is much less intrusive than it was. My anxiety is not linked to an action or idea, just heightened and something I can live with- although, given the choice, I’d rather not.

It took me 15 minutes to leave the house this morning due to checking everything over and over. Is that a symptom of OCD? It doesn't massively affect my life so I never thought to speak to anyone about it. I also have to have lists of at least three things in my head at one time, ideally making the words start with the same letter. DH thinks I should speak to a doctor but I can't see what they could do.

My DS was diagnosed with OCD and there were many days where we were literally hostages in the house not daring to move in case it disturbed his checks and routines. Hours and hours of checking switches and buttons, lining things up and opening and closing doors.

He’s currently in managed remission. Anyone really suffering please try taking a high dose, 10g-12g of Inositol a day - it’s been a miracle worker here.

@Gromance02 some may disagree with me but personally I would say no. There's plenty of rituals OCD sufferers use that on their own there's really nothing negative about them.

The OCD is where it's so obsessive, not performing the ritual or compulsive behaviour brings such distress to the person in a way that's totally out of proportion and it massively affects someone's life.

Everyone has traits of any particular MH issue at times in their lives, unless it's affecting their life to a degree they cannot live a normal life - one or two traits isn't enough to diagnose the illness

The reasons behind doing things matter too... most people lock up their homes for security and check, OCD sufferers might have different reasons or illogical reasons (not necessarily the same for anyone, e.g. Maybe they need to check everything 7 times because if they only do it 6 someone will get sick/die)

It's that over inflated sense of responsibility and guilt and taking the steps to prevent harm from happening that you're scared you might cause

I agree that it's treated awfully casually and not at all representatively.

I lived with a friend with OCD and she was actually terrible at cleaning (still is). I had to sort her room out after we moved twice, because her cleaning left dirt and grub, but she had fulfilled the 'obsessive' and 'compulsive' elements of the action.

@Emily7708 that's a really interesting post, do you mean myo-inositol?

I bought it as I have PCOS but have it sat in the cupboard waiting to try. I've often wondered if there's a link between my hormonal problems and succesptibility to anxiety and depression disorders

YANBU, OP.

My DD has OCD and it's horrific. It's kiddybacking on ASD in her case, and has absolutely nothing to do with cleanliness or tidiness, alas. Her difficulties mean that she'll never lead a normal life, though the severity has been helped somewhat by Fluoxetine.
I try try not to get too annoyed with the "I'm a bit OCD, me" comments; I put it down to ignorance. I just wish the condition were better understood and recognised generally, and that more people that needed it had access to help.

you can at least TRY to address the reasons for your OCD or anxiety

Just fuck off with that, would you

I have ocd but it’s under better control now. If anyone wants mine they’re welcome to it. Mine surrounds security ie locks on doors, electric switches, cookers, windows yada yada. It’s wonderful taking an eternity to leave the house/go to bed because something went wrong with your ritual and you have to start all over again. Any takers?

@chipvinegar yes that’s the one. I think suggested dose is between 2g and 4g for PCOS but you’d need to double it for anxiety and OCD. It worked from day one of taking it, amazing stuff.