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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect DP not to whinge when I spend money on clothes for the kids?

134 replies

julezboo · 01/05/2007 14:28

I decided today as its a nice day I would take myself of the our nearest next shop to get the baby some summer clothes, he has one pair of shorts that fit him! Everytime I get him out of his pram/carseat hes dripping with sweat bless him.

I emailed DP first to check it was ok and didnt get a reply, so 2 hours after waiting for a reply i went off anyway (12noon) have to be back for 3 so I wanted some time to browse leisurely.

Ive come home to a horrible email off DP whinging on at me for wanting to go to next. I only spent £27 so not much!

But what gets my goat is in the last week or so he's bought 3...yes 3 xbox games, its the new xbox so roughly about £90 I didnt moan, when he asked me i said "if you want" I always do.

But im being random for wanting to buy the baby some clothes from next !! Theres not that many shops round here, we have a tescos, some crappy shops in the town centre and a sainsburys not very much variety and tbh I do often buy their clothes from tesco but I faniced a change! Im sick of either staying in the house, or going to the same places!

PS it was my tax credits i spent not as if i took his money out of the bloody bank grrr!

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 01/05/2007 14:31

Why did you ask him? It was your money, your choice! Sounds like he could do with a reality check. Kids need clothes more than he needs games!

Taylormama · 01/05/2007 14:33

3 x-box games = not a priority
clothes for baby = priority

end of story

Piffle · 01/05/2007 14:33

at having to ask...

Original poster
julezboo · 01/05/2007 14:36

it was the fact i went to an expensive shop and not tesco for his clothes that hes whinging at!

OP posts:
NineUnlikelyTales · 01/05/2007 14:37

Unless you are broke, I don't think it's acceptable to have to ask to spend £27 on essential baby clothes. YANBU.

oranges · 01/05/2007 14:37

I'd sell the xbox games on ebay and buy the baby some Ralph Lauren shorts. If he;s going to whinge, he may as well have something proper to whinge about.

NineUnlikelyTales · 01/05/2007 14:38

Oranges!

mumto3girls · 01/05/2007 14:38

what a selfish arse..perhaps he'd like to put up with playing games on a Playstation One instead of his Xbox...after all it's still a game, why does he need the expensive stuff?

Saturn74 · 01/05/2007 14:39

YANBU.
But stop saying "if you want to" to requests for X-Box games and start saying "it's a while since I had some new shoes!"

bobsmum · 01/05/2007 14:43

Julezboo - my dh would moan too, but then I like to pretend we're not on a budget sometimes and over spend. Spending £27 at Next would be an overspend for me. I'm doing most of the children's summer shopping on Ebay and other sale sites having pinched all my ideas from the shops IYSWIM.

However your dp has just spent £90 on console games and that is completely and utterly beyond a joke if you're living on a budget. He is totally out of order and possibly still living in lad mode rather than dad mode - tell him to grow up and spend some of that cash he seems to be so free with on his son. Grrrrrr (on your behalf!).

Grrrr · 01/05/2007 14:50

Did he buy his Xbox games cheap from ebay or did he just go to a store specialising in Xbox games ? Enough said !

The next clothes are generally better quality than tesco and I love a bargain so I should know. T-shirts from Tesco's can sometimes end up with twisted seams after just one wash, which make them hard to iron and messy looking so it could be false economy getting them instead of paying more at next.

How old is your baby ds. I have some lovely boys summer clothes in 0-3 and 3-6 all in excellent condition as ds1 was a spring baby and grew out of them in a flash, some were only worn a few times. I'm still trying to learn how to load and show photo's of stuff otherwise they'd have been bundled on ebay and sold by now as I need to get 6-9 month summer stuff for ds2 but let me know if you want any more details.

SJLTM · 01/05/2007 14:53

I usually ask, is there enough cash in the account for x,y or z, as hubby deals with all our cash flow (my choice) I think your DP needs to look at what he spends cash on, and compared to other shops, I don't think next is that expensive when you look at quality and durability.

fizzbuzz · 01/05/2007 15:02

Personally, I would rush out and spend £90.00 on pampering and revamping your wardrobe.

What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!

Rachmumoftwo · 01/05/2007 15:06

OOh I would be cross if that was my hubby. Mine worries about money, as do we all, but kids have to be clothed. They grow, seasons change- there is nothing we can do about it. I get stuff from ebay and supermarkets, but like to get the occasional bit from LaRedoute, Next or Vertbaudet to brighten up their wardrobes. £27 isn't that much to spend, not on something your child needs. Console games are going to benefit your child how exactly?

Mumpbump · 01/05/2007 15:16

We are really skint (but only because of our "dinky" mortgage and a second round of maternity leave approaching) and I buy most of ds' clothes on ebay or second hand sales. I haven't had my shoes fixed since the start of the year and only just had a haircut which I've been wanting for ages, but even I bought about £25 worth of new clothes for Tesco's. Completely unreasonable if he is spending money on an x-box...

LazyLine · 01/05/2007 15:30

I would be cross that it seems to be the situation that the money your DP earns is "his" money and the tax credits are yours.

It your money as a family surely?

Tell him to feck off.

Original poster
julezboo · 01/05/2007 15:53

thanks girls

tbh i do alot of our buying on ebay too, but it wasnt the fact i wanted to spend money in next i just fancied a change and that was the nearest place, most of what i got was in packs, 2pack shorts, 2 pack t shirts, hats socks etc....

Grrrr - then clothes would be fab, How much would you want for them, hes in some 0-3 and some 3-6 months now. Let me know the details, my email is [email protected] x x

He has said hes sorry and if we want we can go spend £100 each on clothes tonight in tescos so guess where Ill be driving us after even though i know he doesnt mean it we havnt got that much money!

The only reason I went to next is because he got paid this week plus bonus so we have a bit extra anyway!

OP posts:
mumto3girls · 01/05/2007 15:57

so to make up to you for griping about you sepnding £27 cos money's tight, he's willing for you to spend £200 tonight....weird.

Tell him to get used to it, your ds will grow so quickly...

Eleusis · 01/05/2007 16:31

Seems to me that your DH thinks that clothes for the baby are a perk for you. That is so wrong on so many levels. How in the world does x-box game (toy for him and hom alone) get justified by you getting clothes for the baby (which presumably don't fit you)????

Let's see... x-box game for him equals night out in London (or any other city of your choosing) for you while he changes nappies and feeds baby at home.

Eleusis · 01/05/2007 16:32

Oh, and if you are not involved with the finances find out what they are. Or you may one day come to the shocking realisation that you are in an absolute mountain of debt.

Judy1234 · 01/05/2007 16:41

This is what happens when women don't work, don't earn their own money and they end up buying the baby's clothes. Just tell him it's now his job and you won't buy any. Buying clothes for children is not a job for women except in very sexist households. Ensure yours is not one of those.

kimi · 01/05/2007 16:44

I can spend that on coffee in a week, tell him to grow up.
He would rather spend the money on PC games then his own child.... wow what a pillock of a man.

NineUnlikelyTales · 01/05/2007 16:47

Er, it doesn't have to be that way Xenia just because the woman doesn't work. I stopped work to have DS (my choice) and wouldn't dream of asking his permission to spend our money. There's nothing wrong with buying baby clothes if you are the one who has time during the week - nothing sexist about that in our household. Shopping in city centres at the weekend is hell.

kimi · 01/05/2007 16:52

I think he is being really unfair, its his child after all.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2007 16:54

'Buying clothes for children is not a job for women except in very sexist households. '

I love buying clothes. For me, for relatives, for the children, for my husband.

LOVE it.