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AIBU?

What's the most selfish thing your DH has done?

145 replies

Rosiie · 09/02/2018 15:29

DH was hungry and I decided to make some chicken wraps with lettuce and mayo as a snack because we were about to get a takeaway later on. I told him there was only two tortilla wraps, me and DS would share one and DH could have the other one. He then says he had nothing to eat all day and he was hungry, and then I said so you want both wraps then? And he’s like whatever. Clearly he was upset about it and I thought to myself wow, how selfish is that! He wanted to eat it all while leaving me and DS sitting there hungry 😒

He thinks of nothing eating food in front of the DC without giving them anything, they will literally sit there and look at him eating. I share everything with my DC, anything I eat they eat, when serving food I’ll always give people the best piece of meat, best piece of everything while I eat what’s left. Even if it’s a few scraps of food.

So what’s the most selfish thing your DH/DP has done?

OP posts:

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GrandTheftWalrus · 09/02/2018 17:42

My exH decided to choose a day out with friends over our appointment into fertility problems.

I think that was the beginning of the end.

lolaflores · 09/02/2018 17:43

Sorry to sound so snarky Unimaginativeusername but this is what i hear from the woman I was mentioning in my post.
You keep going back for more and I genuinely don't understand it. You can see how wrong and unfair it is but the it just keeps going round and round.
I know everyone is going to accuse me of victim blaming but he is going to keep doing this as you keep on accepting it as normal

speakout · 09/02/2018 17:46

Nope, my OH is not selfish at all.
In fact his thoughtful nature is one of his most attractive features.
He is forever buying me my favourite food items, would think nothing of driving 20 miles to get me or the kids a takeaway from our favourite place.
He very much puts us first. Which is not to say he doesn't treat himself sometimes too

PoorYorick · 09/02/2018 17:46

If he's so lazy and selfish, tell him to make his own food.

DrCoconut · 09/02/2018 17:46

Destroy our lives with his use of hook up sites and other things that I can't discuss but are extremely life changingly serious.

TheHolidayArmadillo · 09/02/2018 17:50

I read the OP as the husband saying "Is that it?" When being presented with one wrap for lunch, when he's said he's not eaten all day/is hungry. And then the OP pushing her own martyr-standards onto him.

I fucking hate it when the kids hover round me whenever I dare to put food to my lips. They get plenty to eat of their own without being expected to share it with anyone, why should I share mine just because I'm the mug who birthed them?

RedDogsBeg · 09/02/2018 18:00

speakout same here and I do likewise.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 09/02/2018 18:03

I'm confused as fuck?

What time did you all have lunch and what time did you make the wraps? Also how many kids are there ?

DingDongDenny · 09/02/2018 18:06

Fair enough, if you hadn't had lunch either then he was being selfish!

Chillyegg · 09/02/2018 18:08

Holy fuck. Thank gif I’m single. My ex once got himself soup and brought it to mkne leaving me to sort tea for everyone else. He basically lived at mine for free aswell it was annoying hence why an ex

coffeeforone · 09/02/2018 18:23

I bring a glass of water to bed with me as I get thirsty through the night. DH says he doesn’t want one. Quite often he wakes up thirsty at 2am and downs my water, i then wake up at 3am thirsty and get angry that my water has gone!! We sleep on second floor and I don’t like bathroom water so it’s two flights down to the kitchen in the middle of the night - that annoys me!!

Partypopper123 · 09/02/2018 18:34

Unimaginativeusername this is going to sound harsh but please please use the phrase 'make your own fucking meals', and 'clean your own fucking mess up'.
I do not know how you have put up with this.

RedDogsBeg · 09/02/2018 18:53

So insist he takes his own glass of water to bed and if he won't and wakes up thirsty then he goes downstairs to get a drink. Or wake him up at 3.00 a.m. and ask him to go and refill your glass.

RedDogsBeg · 09/02/2018 18:57

UnimaginativeUsername thank goodness he is soon to be an ex, I hope that it's very much sooner rather than later and as you are going to be free of him living with you stop doing anything for him now, time he learnt to fend for himself.

UnimaginativeUsername · 09/02/2018 18:59

Actually, I have decided to think about how once we’ve sorted out the housing situation I will never have to put up with his crap again.

I did say, ‘if you don’t like what we’re having, you know where the kitchen is’.

He hasn’t always been so overtly selfish. (But he is intrinsically selfish). He’s been getting worse and worse. Or maybe I’m just becoming more aware of how shockingly selfish he is.

UnimaginativeUsername · 09/02/2018 19:05

And I guess he is really ExP. It’s just we have to live in the same house until it’s sold and we can get our own places. He’s basically a housemate that I’m looking forward to seeing the back of (increasingly so).

TheFirstMrsDV · 09/02/2018 19:06

coffee don't take a glass of water. Get a water bottle and put it on the floor on your side of the bed, under if needs be. Its YOURS not his.

Trialsmum · 09/02/2018 19:08

I’m really shocked the op is getting such a hard time tbh.

The dh expected the op to make his food for him.
He expected to get all the food because that’s what he wanted to the detriment of both his wife and child.
When the op explained that there wasn’t enough to go round, he sulked because he still thought I t should all go to him.

PonderLand · 09/02/2018 19:15

Me and DP would argue a lot after our son was born about laundry/washing up/cleaning/cooking. He did none of it, even when I was recovering from c-section. I went into hospital for 3 days the week after DS was born, he did sweet F all in that time, just added to the mess despite only visiting for an hour or two on the evenings.

So he said fine I'll do some laundry. He obviously didn't hang it out to dry and when I went to do it he'd gone through the basket and put only his own stuff in, filled it about 2k despite the machine holding 9! Argh.

I went through a phase of stuffing socks he'd left out in his pillow case, throwing stuff out the window etc. Now it's easier with our DS, so I just do it all for a stress free life.

Another one is I wrote him instructions for some food to make for DS (& freeze) while I was at work. I came back and he'd given DS one piece and eaten the rest. He also eats 'left overs' from his plate despite the fact he hasn't finished.

Belindabauer · 09/02/2018 19:19

My ex went on a weekend jaunt whilst I was 8 months pregnant. We had a toddle too. Whilst he was away I had diahorrea and sickness it was awful. My mum had to come round and help with my toddler.
I rang my dh and explained that he might need to come home and help as I really should be away from out toddler and resting in bed. He didn't come home.

Imacurtaintwitcher · 09/02/2018 19:21

Mine just made me cry because he’s had a cold all week, didn’t get up until 2 today & has been waited on hand & fucking foot.

He is snappy & pissy.

Selfish prick

littlepeas · 09/02/2018 19:23

Generally he is very good but I have one glaring example (probably the only very selfish thing he's ever done, so it stands out!) - I actually posted on here about it at the time. He went on a 6 nations jolly weekend to Dublin (not our home 'nation') while I had 3 dc under 5 and pneumonia that I had almost been hospitalised with less than a week earlier. I think he convinced himself I would be ok - I could still only speak 3 or 4 words at a time before running out of breathe!

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AnaViaSalamanca · 09/02/2018 19:24

coffeeforone why wouldn't you take two glasses or a jug? I do this loads of times, when DP makes anything for himself I say I don't want and don't make for me, when I see if I eat more than half. He has now learned ;)

Rosiie · 09/02/2018 19:43

RedDogsBeg you've got some balls ;) I wish I had that. I tend to do things for an easier life and avoid conflicts, but I have plans :)

OP posts:

Moonandstars84 · 09/02/2018 19:49

Had a colonoscopy under sedation. Told dh. He decided to work from home so he could take me there and back. Not enough holiday to take the day off.Totally ignoring the fact so shouldn't be responsible for young children following sedation.
Imagine my surprise when a few months later he took annual leave to go on a track day.

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