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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask a question on daughters

103 replies

MTB45 · 09/02/2018 10:52

Does the drama get any better as they get older?

Mine is only 7 and she is so full of drama this school year as are many of her friends according to the mums. Regular tears and tantrums because so and so was mean or somebody said this or someone fell out with someone else.

I have an older son and he was fairly easy to Manage with very little drama.

A good friend of mine tells me it gets much worse when they are teens before it gets better!

Please give me some hope......

OP posts:
upsideup · 09/02/2018 11:15

I have a 10 year old drama queen definately but then she was exactly the same at 2 so I feel we may have a life time of it. Shes great though, shes funny, clever and has a huge personality.

FauxFox · 09/02/2018 11:15

Y8 is the worst. Everyone constantly taking any little comment or joke (that a year or two ago would have been laughed off) as a huge personal insult and flying off the handle every 5 mins. DD is quite calm and usually stays out of it all but every day is a litany of who got the hump with who Confused

Scabbersley · 09/02/2018 11:15

bullying little bitches

Nice

youvegottobekidding · 09/02/2018 11:16

Well my dd is 13 & bloody hell, we're clinging on for dear life 😂

She came home from school other day. I'm ill with that Aussie Flu so her dad is home on his way out to get younger ds from school. DD walks in door. All I could here was 'blah blah, so & so, I got angry, so went to pastoral, I'm sick to death of all of them' anyway later her dad asked her what had gone on at school.

'Everyone was falling out. I was getting fed up so went to pastoral. I told them about me & xxxxx arguing & how we've been arguing for the last few months. So they got xxxxx in'

Her Dad: What you been arguing about?

DD: 'Nothing really, that's just it, we haven't been arguing. We don't argue about anything. Anyway it's all sorted now.!!!! ????

And storms off in a huff 'OMG, why are you so strict, you need to know every detailllllerrr'

So you get my drift. She only smiles really when she has chocolate or being fed. Just got to ride out the storm I guess!! I wonder what DS will be like, mind you he's already showing teenage tantrums!

bengalcat · 09/02/2018 11:17

I'm sure girls are all different and some more expressive/dramatic than others - just like adults !

k2p2k2tog · 09/02/2018 11:19

bullying little bitches

They exist, Scabbersley. Tweens and Teens aren't all sweetness and light. SOme are hideous, especially in groups. There are girls in my DD's year who are perfectly nice girls one on one, put them together into a group and they morph into a bunch of total cows.

problembottom · 09/02/2018 11:19

I think it's to do with the year group - some have trickier mixes - and the personality. One of my very laid back nieces has got to 9 with no drama at all. The other sensitive one had drama filled years from 7-9 but now at 11 it's calmed down a bit. For now!

Scabbersley · 09/02/2018 11:21

k2p2k2tog

I have three teenage dds. I've never called another woman a bitch and I never will.

Scabbersley · 09/02/2018 11:23

Perhaps that's part of the reason I have three popular well adjusted dds who stand up for themselves if they need to.

I agree some teens can be vile to each other, boys too. But I'd rather teach coping mechanisms than call young women bitches.

greenbeansqueen · 09/02/2018 11:25

All my son's ( aged 8 ) male friends have had some drama and/or friendship issues so no I don't think it's a 'girl thing' with boys being different. It's the age, and their hormones as they learn to navigate the world and relationships. WHAT is different that I can see is how the adults react to it - they're very quick to label the girls as 'bitches' or bitchy and make a bigger deal out of it and get involved. The boys get more leeway ( hormones, boys being boys) even though the behaviour - picking on kids, leaving a friend out of a friendship group, name calling etc. are exactly the same. The boys are expected to move on quicker from the issue - with parents mainly staying out of it but for the girls the mums in particular are far too involved INHO.

TheMathsTrainee · 09/02/2018 11:25

Dd is 13 , she’s easy going and smiley.

MiaowMix · 09/02/2018 11:26

agree with Scabberseley. Horrible way to talk about young girls (or anyone really).

I've got an 11 year old girl and the worst we've had so far is an eyeroll, but I'm prepped for Y7...

Scabbersley · 09/02/2018 11:26

WHAT is different that I can see is how the adults react to it - they're very quick to label the girls as 'bitches' or bitchy and make a bigger deal out of it and get involved. The boys get more leeway ( hormones, boys being boys) even though the behaviour - picking on kids, leaving a friend out of a friendship group, name calling etc. are exactly the same. The boys are expected to move on quicker from the issue - with parents mainly staying out of it but for the girls the mums in particular are far too involved INHO.

Totally this.

KurriKurri · 09/02/2018 11:28

My DD was not all drama - she was quiet, calm and pretty sensible - still is. None of her friends were bitches, they were lovely girls she remains friends with now even though they are all now grown up.

My DS more dramatic (he went on to train as an actor) but not unmanageably so. He's now a sensible hard working grown up.

If you are asking do 'dramatic' children get calmer as they get older, I would say using experience of my son that yes they do - around 16/17 or so. In truth I wouldn;t really call it drama - my son was quick to express his feelings, my DD is more self contained - just different personalities. Like everyone else in the world regardless of sex.

greenbeansqueen · 09/02/2018 11:28

I can't stand women calling each other bitches, and calling a girl or a young woman a bitch is something that no grown woman - or man for that matter - should ever stoop to. It's lazy and demeaning.

ShellsBells76 · 09/02/2018 11:33

I have 2 DDs, 8 & nearly 13 so Year 8. Youngest is super chilled, doesn't get involved in any drama at school and says she prefers playing with the boys as they don't argue all the time lol
Eldest seems to think she is living a soap opera, it is just one thing after another I simply cannot keep up, she's at an all girls school and I don't know if this is making things 'worse' however she is very bright, articulate and doing well so we are riding the storm and praying it passes very very quickly Confused

usualGubbins · 09/02/2018 11:34

I've got 3 daughters - all now adults. No drama from any of them even during teenage years. They were all too busy with their out of school interests!

MistressDeeCee · 09/02/2018 11:42

I have one drama queen DD, and 1 calm and composed DD. I have a nephew who turns any and everything into a big drama. What does the sex of the child have to do with it? It's a bit off to suggest girls = drama. What are boys called in comparison when they have relatable issues then? Or are theirs 'not drama?'.

TemporaryScouserNameChange · 09/02/2018 11:45

Boys have dramas too but I think they pan out differently. Here's how ours usually go:

DS2 I hate John. He was so mean to me today. I don't want to talk to him any more.

Day after: How was your day? Great. Me and John were partnered in Science. Can we have a playdate next week? Thought you hated John. Huh? No I don't.

TeenTimesTwo · 09/02/2018 11:47

Seems to peak between y5 & y8.

orangesticker · 09/02/2018 11:47

Mine is 14 and I drama is the word that springs to mind when I think of her life. They have occasional spats - doesn't everyone?

ReelingLush18 · 09/02/2018 11:55

MTB45 DD has been a drama queen since she as about two (and she's at secondary school now). Yes, yes, yes to even more drama since being in Year 7 - lots of falling out with friends etc...

And she's very slight/light so nowhere near being 'hormonal' yet I wouldn't have thought. God help us when she is Hmm

DS was a difficult baby/toddler but has been a relative breeze since, even as a teen.

honeylulu · 09/02/2018 11:56

My son is and has always been far more of a drama llama than my daughter. Now he's an adolescent it's ratcheted up a few gears. Raging about how his "life is ruined" because he couldn't find his phone charger (which was in his bed!) this morning. Friendships lurch between love and hate over the most piddling issues.
Even when he's cheerful he's always been very "look at me everyone!" It's just him.

My daughter is totally different. Very determined, independent and stoical. Very rarely cries unless close to being mortally wounded. Very matter of fact. That's just her!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/02/2018 12:01

Neither of my girls have been like this thankfully, but I've seen a lot of it with some of their friends.

Deshasafraisy · 09/02/2018 12:04

I think with any child it’s important to show them a life outside of school so that school becomes just a part of a bigger picture. Then the dramas don’t seem so big for them as there are other things to focus on.

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