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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed when total strangers touch/stroke my baby without asking?

252 replies

GreebosWhiskers · 01/05/2007 09:44

ds is nearly 6 months & fair enough he is gorgeous (not that I'm biased or anything) but why do total strangers feel the need to have a grab at him when he's in his buggy? Doesn't matter where we are, on the bus, in a shop, whatever, there's someone stroking his cheek or grabbing his hand. I see their manky fingernails or nicotine-yellow fingers & shudder!
I know babies are cute & soft & cuddly but I'd never dream of touching someone else's baby without at least asking first.
So, AIBU?

OP posts:
Ooopsydaisy · 02/05/2007 23:33

dear hills,

you have NOT idea what i have or i haven;t researched. If I am lucky or not - you don't know either. What i find quite terrifying is trying to prove a point trying to be an uptight scaremonger.

And i repeat you don't know anything about what i have or i haven't reserched on the net, or wiht consultants in various European institutions.

Hillls · 02/05/2007 23:35

Oh thats really bad misdee people can be so awful and so quick to judge. How old is she now? My dd2 has it on her face, not too bad but around her chin and cheeks, if I leave her for 1/2 hour it flairs up so bad it cracks and bleeds, she's ok when she's at home etc but I think stressful situations bring it right on, you can watch it grow,(not so easy to get rid of though)

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 23:35

i think i must have my head in a bubble then, either that or people round here are more normal and don't care as dd's face looks like she's been scalded for the last 2 months

KerryMum · 02/05/2007 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonnyLass · 02/05/2007 23:37

I was a bit overwhelmed when dd was [seemed at the time] cood over loads ... its just increased cos she's a smiler and people are charmed

I was freaked a bit about people [strangers] touching her

But honestly ... I got more pride out of it than I admitted ... I LOVE IT THAT PEOPLE THINK I HAVE A CUTE BABY

There I said it loud and proud!

WOuld definitely steer pram waaaaaay round scummy looking folks tho ...

Hillls · 02/05/2007 23:37

your post came accross rather nieve, you made a personal dig at Kerrymum and I know she has had a rough time of it and has to know all these details. No I dont know what you have reserched but your post did seem rather uninformative to me.

misdee · 02/05/2007 23:38

she is 7 now and is suffering badly again. she has been up scratching and trying to tear her skin off (see 'i f-ing hate eczema)

dd2+3 also have it but not as bad.

Ooopsydaisy · 02/05/2007 23:40

Nighty night girls! Sleep tight!

Tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day!

Nessie21 · 02/05/2007 23:40

horrible manky fingers are minging especially when they are yellow, no u r not being unreasonable, tell then they can touch your child when they have washed the mank off their hands

Ness

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 23:40

i think it's unfair of you to presume that just because we have a more relaxed attitude we can't possibly have gone through any of what you have or done any of the same research KerryMum.

both my kids are atopic and dp has severe asthma and eczema, i deal with allergies daily but i believe in letting my children live and be loved, not wrapping them in a bubble 'in case'

DonnyLass · 02/05/2007 23:42

HILLS that's scary ... totally understand where you're coming from ... MIL once had that kind of reaction from bee sting and it was quite a horrible thing to watch ... and babies got much smaller bodies so respond much more quickly.

Understand why you would all be so protective with such circumstances(deliberately NT using the word 'over' cos in your situations you're not being!).

Will deffo keep being drawn to comment on babies but will always do quick check with the mum first to make sure it is ok ... only takes a second!

Hillls · 02/05/2007 23:42

Oh poor little mite I remember a girl at school having it on her hands she was very self consious and alway had her sleeves over her wrists. My sister had it bad throughout childhood and has really bad scars on her legs (indented ones) my mum took her to see someone at bupa after years and years of NHS, they did a treatment on her - I'll find out what it was, and it went! she gets the occasional bouts but nothing like what it was.

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 23:43

misdee, have you heard they've found the cause of the eczemic reaction in the skin and are about 5 years away from an actual cure... so there's hope yet

misdee · 02/05/2007 23:43

its all over her face atm and she is so self conscience of it. she hasnt had it on her face since she was two years old

misdee · 02/05/2007 23:44

oh PT a cure would be fantastic. i am changing 4 lots of sheets daily from each bed (dh as well as his skin is bad) due to blood and skin debris all over them.

Hillls · 02/05/2007 23:45

PinkTulips mine and Kerrymum's little ones are anaphylactic which means we have to be very very careful, my dd's cant even go to school because of it. I wish my dd's had just regular allergies I could relax a bit more then

Nice to see you btw.

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 23:47

i count my blessings every day that dd's seems to be the rare type of eczema that doesn't itch, the patch on the back of her head does ut she's very good. the rest of her body doesn't seem to bother her >

hopefully that cure will make an appearance sooner rather than later, i see how fucked up dp is because of his eczema and i don't want that for my kids (although his crazy ass momma telling him he had scabies for years didn't help )

jabberwocky · 02/05/2007 23:48

These threads are always so predictable. I just have to say that I am one of those mothers who doesn't like people touching her baby. Yes, I'm sure they mean well, but I just don't like it. I've never felt the urge to reach out and touch other babies. I do smile, tell the parents how cute I think their baby is and all that but I think touching someone you don't know is just really crossing the line.

There, so tell me I need counseling if you want. It's not going to change how I feel about it.

KerryMum · 02/05/2007 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 23:51

hi hills

i'm not naive, i do know you have to be careful and you and kerrymom especially so but there is no reason to make others who do not need to behave in such a careful manner feel as if they are endangering their children and don't know any better, which is what kerrymum was doing earlier in this thread

KerryMum · 02/05/2007 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KerryMum · 02/05/2007 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jabberwocky · 02/05/2007 23:53

DS2 has eczema. He is only 5 months so I am hoping that he will be one of the babies who outgrows it but ds1 has very dry skin with occasional eczema-like outbreaks so I'm skeptical

We're bfing, holding off on solids and hoping for the best.

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 23:55

that's the attitude you've been giving kerry, that none of the rest of us know what we're talking about.

i'd hazard a guess that plenty of us (misdee for example) know as much or more about allergies as you do

i also think telling someone to 'go have a drink or something' is an odd and unnecessary thing to say

Hillls · 02/05/2007 23:56

I'm not judging anyone else at all, just saying as it is from my end. Everyone has their own way and I respect that.