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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don’t think IABU but DP does. You decide.

88 replies

GlassHalfFullOfWee · 06/02/2018 11:40

I don’t want to give too many details but quick straw poll:

When FaceTiming with someone, is it reasonable to turn the phone round onto your partner without warning and insist they participate in your conversation?

And a second part to that question: is it reasonable to throw a strop if your partner says they’d prefer it if you didn’t do that?

Opening it up to the floor....

OP posts:
DustyMaiden · 06/02/2018 11:42

I suppose it is reasonable but I don't like it.
not reasonable to throw a strop. shouldn't repeat it once told you don't like it.

Bluntness100 · 06/02/2018 11:42

I'm not really seeing why this is a big deal. If you Both know the person and are friendly? I'd say it was fairly normal, unless the person has said they don't want to talk to them in advance or are signalling no before they turn the iPad round.

OutyMcOutface · 06/02/2018 11:43

No and no.

Twooter · 06/02/2018 11:43

No and yes.
Similarly it’s not ok to FaceTime someone else whilst you have guests, just so said guests can see how FaceTime works, without first warning the person you’ve FaceTimed that guests are also watching

Quartz2208 · 06/02/2018 11:44

I think with the first point you can turn the phone around and see if they want to participate in the conversation that is reasonable but its not reasonable to insist they do or throw a strop if the other person prefers you didnt.

But at the same time its only reasonable to respond to the first point with a polite hello and I am busy I would rather not respond so the whole thing could be managed reasonably.

Here it appears it was not!

Abracadabraapileofbollocks · 06/02/2018 11:44

Probably not justifiable (but someone mumbling comments or chipping in will be viewed as willing?
Definitely UR to have a strop.

Velvetbee · 06/02/2018 11:44

No, not reasonable to turn screen round and insist someone else participates.
I might strop if I felt I wasn't being listened to/respected or I might just refuse to engage depending on mood.

Skiiltan · 06/02/2018 11:44

When FaceTiming with someone, is it reasonable to turn the phone round onto your partner without warning and insist they participate in your conversation?

No.

is it reasonable to throw a strop if your partner says they’d prefer it if you didn’t do that?

No.

Anything else we can help you with today?

Shmithecat · 06/02/2018 11:45

My dh does this sometimes when he's fting with his DM. Pisses me off. If I wanted to talk to her I'd call her myself.

Oysterbabe · 06/02/2018 11:45

I think it depends who it is they're talking to but I wouldn't like it.

PinkHeart5914 · 06/02/2018 11:45

Unlessyour sitting there naked why would someone turning the phone round on you be an issue? Confused

Having a strop isn’t in either

LindySprint · 06/02/2018 11:45

I wouldn't like it, no. I might just wave and shout hello, but that's it.

Strops are for big babies and The Embarrassed.

stickytoffeevodka · 06/02/2018 11:46

Neither of those is reasonable.

The latter is perfectly understandable, though!

MyKingdomForBrie · 06/02/2018 11:47

Well I think it depends on the circs, DH and I would do this to each other with family and neither of us has objected, but if he told me not to do it then I just wouldn’t.

chestylarue52 · 06/02/2018 11:48

It’s never ok to

‘Throw a strop’

Unless you’re 2.

VaguelyAware · 06/02/2018 11:48

No, no. Assume the person "throwing a strop" is the person holding the phone.

Clandestino · 06/02/2018 11:51

Throwing a strop is childish.
Someone getting pissed off when they are forced to be involved in a Facetime conversation and they don't want to is justified.

KayaG · 06/02/2018 11:51

It isn't reasonable to facetime when someone else is in the room. Very rude.

Birdsgottafly · 06/02/2018 11:52

My DP used to put me on loudspeaker and pass the phone around, when I phoned him from a nightshift (me) and be was in the pub (old days). I used to fume.

It's the needing to be available that causes part of the stress around the technology we have.

You should get to decide when you speak to people, not him.

AlexandraPeppernose · 06/02/2018 11:56

I'd hate that. I don't like talking to people on the phone, without warning, let alone facetime.

Baubletrouble43 · 06/02/2018 12:00

no and no. Yanbu.

Original poster
GlassHalfFullOfWee · 06/02/2018 12:02

Yes person who threw strop is the person holding the phone trying to get the other person to join in.

OP posts:
Snacktimonious · 06/02/2018 12:02

It is unreasonable to suddenly and without warning turn your camera onto someone sitting quietly minding their own business.

Yes it's unreasonable to throw a strop when they object.

Shodan · 06/02/2018 12:03

No and no. Strop-throwers should be helped to cool themselves down with a nice bucket of cold water.

And furthermore, I think it's unreasonable to have a FaceTime conversation while there's someone else in the room. It's rude, imo.

Although to be fair you didn't say you were in a room OP Grin

FilledSoda · 06/02/2018 12:05

I would absolutely hate that , I don't like speaking on the phone as it is .
Throwing a strop is gross

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