£40 standard gift for kids birthday parties (Private School)

[trippingup]

AIBU to think that £40 is a lot of money for a kids gift for a party even though children concerned go to a private school?

DP's ex is demanding more money to keep up with the expected gifts so that DD isn't frowned upon for bringing a cheaper gift. Surely £10-15 is more than enough. DP agrees with ex and will give her more money. Just seems like its keeping up with the joneses to me and I should just stay out of it.

The ex is lying, she's just going to spend a tenner on the present and pocket the rest. Your partner is a sucker.

Good god, the circles some people mix in! Makes me very pleased to live in my little bubble where anything from £5-15 is the norm.

How does everyone know what the rest of the class is doing? I can't believe everyone has absorbed the party line (excuse the pun) on how much to spend, and what reaction you'd face if you spent a fiver (for example) less than the prescribed amount?
Would there be sharp intakes of breath at your daring? Would you find yourself blacklisted from all further parties, in case your outrageous free styling catches on? Would you be drummed out of the tennis club??
Talk about sheep...

Depends on the age of the kid.

£10 normal for primary school.

£20 for secondary school (assuming it's a fairly good friend).

This is my experience of private school. Anyone who spends more looks a bit try hard and would be looked down on for that.

Jesus. I spend 5-10. Or up to 15 for a good friend. At a state school and only year 1 though I can’t imagine spending upwards of 15-20 ever.

Dd went it a private primary - presents were of the same ilk and prize range as those of her friends at he local state primaries - around £10 max and if you can pick up a bargain even better.

As a teen at an Independent secondary Dd and her friends spend about the same amount still on each other though often they will buddy up and buy a group gift worth note.

Best friends are often family friends here and we spend a bit more but still not where bear £40, not even for a special birthday. We don't spend that on many people at all either, even as adults!

DS is 10, attends private school within the m25. Lately he has been receiving presents with a maximum value of £20, which is what I tend to spend, maybe a bit less. When he was 6, it was maximum £10. Gobsmacked at £40, it is unheard of here.

Oh and there are several seriously wealthy people at both her primary and secondary - none of them felt the need to give ott or extravagant gifts. They did/fo the same kind of gifts as everyone else.

The one family we did know who had a tendency for being OTT in this kind of thing were definitely just trying to make a show and not long after it all came tumbling down - it was all a front, there was no real money.

Sounds totally vulgar. Private school or not. I choose presents which are nice and meaningful not expensive. Sounds like it's the parents trying to impress. Not sure it's really going to help the children out in the long run, surely it's setting totally unrealistic expectations all round.

Private school here. Max i've ever given is £15 and that's for 13yr olds. We've received £20 before which we thought was extremely generous. Primary school £10 always.