My child hit another child at nursery :(

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Picking my nearly 4 year old up from nursery today and was told my son had hit another child during a squabble over a toy. Apparently my son was playing with a toy when the other child came over and a squabble ensued, then some pushing from both of them, culminating in my son hitting the other child in the face.
My son got a time out and they both said sorry to each other for the pushing but I feel absolutely awful. He’s not been allowed to do his usual Monday afternoon activity, no tablet time or tv time and no pudding after lunch as a penalty.

He’s generally a well behaved little boy and certainly doesn’t have form for this type of thing. I asked after the other child and they were ok but I feel so guilty and embarassed about his terrible behaviour today. The teacher said they made them both say sorry to each other and carried on with their day but I feel so disappointed in what he did.

Nursery aren’t allowed to tell me who it is, although I do know because my son told me. I’m not sure if I should apologise to the mother and make my son apologise to the other child again or if that’ll break confidentiality as it’s supposed to remain anonymous.

I’m so disappointed in him and I thought I’d brought him up so much better.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken I understand why the OP felt bad at that. It's as if they are doing her a favour, not expelling him but letting her deviant 3 year old back... It didn't need to be said. It was passive aggressive.

For what it’s worth both of my girls have gone through a hitting stage. My dd1 who is 7 now and doesn’t hit anymore and hasn’t for a good while, was at nursery riding on a trike when a little boy came over and tried to take it off her. She didn’t want to get off yet and told him no but toddlers don’t get the word no so he got mad and was pulling the trike so my dd rode off and ran over his feet in the process.

She also pinched a girl because she wouldn’t let her use the crayons.

Both of these times wa just a stern word from me as the punishment was given at the time of it happening any further punishment she wouldn’t have understood why a couple of hours after and she had already been punished.

My 2 year old hit a child on the head with a tambourine the other week at the childminders. She is quite a good talker for 2 and understands what’s being said. Childminder said why did you do that? My dd said “made funny noise”. It was real slap yourself in the face moment.

I wasn’t embarrassed though. Everywhere you go there is a kid tantrumming or whatever and numerous parents looking embarrassed as they try to do their weeks shop with a screaming child in the trolley. I wouldn’t break a sweat over it

This has to be a wind up. Small children hit, no need for the hysteria and ridiculous range of punishments. I’d hate to see how he was punished if he did something really serious!

My ds bit his inseparable friend at nursery. Key worker told me (no names), I signed the book of shame and DS blabbed the details on the way home. Next day i picked him up and he had a lovely bite mark on his nose. Inseparable friend had got his own back. It happens. Nobody made a big fuss, nursery, other parents nor us. It happens.

Sprinkle - I lock him in the cellar and beat him with the end of my broomstick for really severe misdemeanours. (I’m joking. Obviously)

I think we’ve established now that I overreacted.

He’s 3 ... he got frustrated and lashed out. Tel him it’s naughty but don’t bloody jail the kid. You’re overreacting.

people read the ops posts she agrees she overeacted

Jees rtft

Jeez, I work with 3 and 4 year olds. Completely normal, what are you panicking about? If I got a quid every time they smacked each other in the face over a toy I'd be a millionaire.

I love em but they're completely unreasonable about 90% of the time.

You should be proud that your kid stood its ground! The other day a child came and took a toy clean out of another child's hands right in front of me and the child just stood there silent! I was like don't just let him take it! Tell him no! Go get it back!

A smack won't have hurt the other kid, but they will for sure think twice before taking a toy from your kid again, and that isn't a bad thing.

I know some posters have said it won't be the last time he does something like this...when DD was at nursery she scratched a child's face because he was climbing up and she wanted to come down. She didn't have the words to tell him he wasn't using the slide correctly. I was mortified! However, she hasn't ever physically hurt anyone since. She'd now be horrified if I told her she ever did such a thing.

I can’t reiterate enough how some nurseries make a meal out of a hit or shove and make you feel like the worst parent ever. They rule by fear! The passive aggressive “Bring him back tomorrow” when it hadn’t occurred to her that they might not allow him to go, was an unnecessary snide remark. There is a culture of such behaviour at some places, maybe to keep the parents in line, I don’t know.