To ask if there's anything GOOD about the menopause?

[scampimom]

Think I'm approaching menopause, and have made an appointment with the doctor to check, and maybe talk about possible treatment. But the more I look online for info about menopause the more depressed I get. It appears that what I have to look forward to is getting even fatter, losing the thickness of my hair, bones like porcelain, skin like leather, foof like the Sahara, sweats and tiredness, rage, sadness and sagging.

Does anyone have any positive experiences? The only positive things I can find all seem to centre on being in your 50s and having children who are grown up, thereby allowing you freedom to suddenly take up rock climbing or ashtanga yoga or cruise the world. But I'm early 40s and my DD is 4.5, she'll not be moving out much before I retire.

Tell me there's an upside to being a middle-aged dollop with a face like beetroot every hour or so?

I think it might be hereditary. My mum had no hot flushes. I did notice mood swings from about 47 onwards, and a couple of years of bad anxiety before that. Since my periods have stopped I feel much more even keeled. Drinking lots of water helps.

Now people notice me again. They lock eyes, engage, smile, I even get blokes looking at me from time to time

Fontella - Woof!Woof!

@janeyejones overegg it? That’s really unfair. Women have different experiences.

No periods, no PMT.

No more throwing up, bloating, passing clots, javelin arse, diarrhoea, getting up in the night to change, hoping I don't leak.

I went from having periods every month, to every three months, and since May nothing, I'm crossing my fingers this is it.

I had an overnight menopause when I had a hysterectomy and oophorectomy (don't' know if that is how you spell it but it is removal of ovaries.) Twenty years on I stopped having migraines, stopped period pains. stopped PMT. My vagina is fine but I did have to have some hormone cream for a few months, presumably as my body adjusted. I didn't put on weight (I did a few years later when my thyroid stopped working but some levothyroxine sorted that out). Skin? Well as the football pundits say it's a game of two halves. My face is doing fine, yes it is ageing but not bad for mid 60s. My neck and chest are a disaster, partly my fault as I didn't protect with SPF they way I did for my face but partly genetic I think. My mother didn't age badly in the face but did on the neck and I've had a scraggy neck for donkey's year.

On balance I would like to be 16 again but definitely don't want periods.

No period pain, no pregnancies and the hairs on my legs aren’t sprouting like crazy. Unfortunately I suddenly have lots of weird hair popping up around my chin.

I went through the menopause at a very young age 23 I'm 35 now. I have hated it. Loss of periods, infertile and I still have the mood swings. If I could have my periods back I would

i had a weird hair on the bottom of my chin - was like ' wtf is this'?
gone now. they do appear in random places.

Just to add also I have no sex drive, been married 4 years but with partner for 12 and had sex probably 40 times in all that time.

There is nothing good about it tbh. I am 47 and now classed as in early full menopause, started HRT 4 months ago, just doubled my dose 2 weeks ago, mood swings are horrific, can't lose excess weight no matter what I do, forget just about everything, sleep deprivation is the worst, I get 4 hours on a good night, bad night about an hour, cannot stand OH would rather we separated right now tbh, told him this last night too, I literally have no feelings left for him - I assume all is caused by the menopause, having lots of tests for different things, looks like my heart is dody and I possibly have a B12 deficiency too. I hate it, if it wasn't for my 5 YO DD I really believe I would pack a bag and just disappear for good.

Yes my sex drive has gone he’s really sympathetic and undemanding but I want sure whether it was menopause, my underactive thyroid or the fact that we had D.C. later in love so bloody knackered and no sitters so we are like couch potatoes never have any fun together.

My mum swears she felt better after the menopause than before it. No symptoms for her except absence of periods, and who misses those!?

Not everyone experiences problems - I didn't - bliss not to have periods any longer or worry about contraception. I've had no hot flushes or mood swings - I've always been overweight so no change there .

Brighteyes27 my sex drive is alive and well and I am 20 years post menopause, have an underactive thyroid. Admittedly my kids are all grown up but the youngest finished school when I was 59. My husband is also disabled so I have been a carer for 25 years. I don't think you shouldn't be able to have fun together. Seems such a shame, I'm not sure how old you are but probably younger than I am.

The biggest plus for me was the end of migraines, they didn't stop overnight but immediately became less severe and less often and I've gone from one or two a month to I don't even know when I last had one.

The Menopause has had absolutely no impact on my life - and I'm now well past it.

Yes there were hot flushes, but quite live-able with.

Other than that, I can't think of any particular symptoms. I suppose I'm heavier than I used to be, but that was starting before the peri-menopause kicked in.

So basically OP and others worried about it, it's not all bad. Life continues much as before - just without the monthly drag of periods!

Um, reluctant to mention now that alcohol and sugar are now a sure fire way to make my moods like a rollercoaster, and running is more compulsory than optional because I feel so fatigued if I don't. It's like the menopause is the lifestyle police.

Struggling to think of much. Interesting about the migraines. I am hoping that my allergies that only occurred in my teens and forties will get lost after menopause.

I'm 50 and just starting to get night sweats. Haven't had a period or pmt for 10 years thanks to contraceptive. I have no idea where I am on the menopause journey but GP says I can happily take my pill till I'm 55 so I will.

This is an amazing thread - thank you. I am peri-menopausal at 38. We wanted a second child but it looks like we've missed the boat. So far I have: hot flushes, mood swings from terrible rage to total apathy, headaches, no libido and I was fat anyway.

I am doing everything I should. I've quit drinking completely, I have carefully moderated my caffeine intake. My diet is as healthy as I can manage without making me actually want to kill myself. I'm exercising - a lot (significantly more than I ever did before) but I'm still fat.

I feel like all the joy has been sucked out of me, that it's all downhill from here and I can't see the point in anything anyway since we'll all be dead in the end.

I really hope this is over soon.

I was miserable with the menopause, flushes and insomnia, also the weird anxiety (started to worry about dying, wtf was that about?). After a year of misery, I went on HRT patches, now completely back to normal self, so I urge anybody who is struggling to go on HRT patches, thank God for them

menopause is the lifestyle police.

BrownTurkey, that is exactly right! It is forcing me to exercise more vigorously than ever. Any episodes involving alcohol or more than a nibble of chocolate or very moderate amounts of caffeine are punished with poor sleep.

It is as though I’ve been put on a clean living programme without signing up.

Meant to add, that most of the time i feel good.

I take red clover and eat a good tablespoon of linseeds on my porridge.

not sure there is good stuff
anxiety
panic attacks
facial hair
leg and arm hair growing to an inch long
hair gone very thin and all grey
spots
muscle aches
stomach cramps
three week long periods
hot flushes

52, still get periods but they are not as regular for the last 2 years. And sorry if this is TMI, the periods absolutely stink. What is that? In the last year I have had a creeping sense of dread, anxiety, paranoia, no flushes but really painful joints/stiffness. Feet are particularly bad. Trying to stay positive but I also keep thinking about dying. My mum died when she was 40, my dad when he was 60. I sometimes think that I am on borrowed time so what is the point. I do still feel some joy in life, but Instill care what people think - I wish I had that don't give a shit thing. Recently lost two stones, and not that hard to do. Hair and skin are good. Flexibility is a bit crap.

Those who are suffering and can take hrt, why not give it a go?

It sorted out my creeping dread and anxiety...

Once periods stopped so did the migraines. Like others here had them monthly from 13 - 54. So benefits, no periods and no migraines.

Negatives, weight gain, sore boobs, weight gain, general aching, especially back, weight gain, waking up frequently in night, night sweats, duvet off, duvet on. Can't remember the last time I slept a full night without waking up. And did I mention weight gain.