To ask if there's anything GOOD about the menopause?

[scampimom]

Think I'm approaching menopause, and have made an appointment with the doctor to check, and maybe talk about possible treatment. But the more I look online for info about menopause the more depressed I get. It appears that what I have to look forward to is getting even fatter, losing the thickness of my hair, bones like porcelain, skin like leather, foof like the Sahara, sweats and tiredness, rage, sadness and sagging.

Does anyone have any positive experiences? The only positive things I can find all seem to centre on being in your 50s and having children who are grown up, thereby allowing you freedom to suddenly take up rock climbing or ashtanga yoga or cruise the world. But I'm early 40s and my DD is 4.5, she'll not be moving out much before I retire.

Tell me there's an upside to being a middle-aged dollop with a face like beetroot every hour or so?

I sound a bit like you scampimom - dreading it as I can see no good at all - the lack of periods that everyone cites isn't a positive for me because they never bothered me anyway. And the cost of tampons will no doubt be offset by the cost of ahem lubrication etc.

Maybe it doesn't help that I've never been afraid to speak my mind!

I'm mid 40's and peri menopausal and it's not as bad as it was made out to be. I haven't suddenly put on weight or lost hair or even had hot flushes but I still get periods. I chose to go on the pill to boost my oestrogen levels and for contraceptive reasons. However I take it continuously for 3 months and then have a period so it's not bad that way. I also have a 2.5 year old so I can't see sudden freedom to take up rock climbing and go on sedate cruises either OP

This lack of periods people talk about - is that when you come out the other end of the menopause ?

My period was a few weeks late but the bleeding has gone on longer than the prior reprieve. Every time I think yay it's coming to an end.... It starts over with gusto!!

Do i have 10 years of this to look forward to?

I dont care what people think anymore either. that bit is good.

No periods is awesome as is not having the mood swings and emotions I used to have. My emotions are sensible and on a level now, much less crying now my hormones have gone. And sex gets better as you get older so definatly not all negative. I only really had night sweats but not half as bad as I was expecting and so worth it to come out the other side.

Agree with positives of other posters. The actual menopause lasts a couple of years, then you are out the other side. I didn’t take anything, Just treated symptoms as they showed up. After menopause, no more hot flashes, night sweats, less insomnia, hair is fine, skin is fine for my age. Yes, do use lube, but that is ok, and sex drive is just fine.

Bowen therapy is good for flushes as is a pile of different herbal remedies like black cohosh, red clover, etc.
Dunno why. It just is.

Why is sex better, Wendy?

Watching with interest, as I'm 50 and it hasn't started yet.

forest, i had an horrendous period in the summer time, flooding the lot. then they went all light and weird and now stopped. i am 53 this year and on the menopause board they said women rarely get periods past 54, so hoping i've stopped now for good.
women have also said it depends when your periods started ( mine were at 13 or 14 i think) but some women said they started them at 10 and
now dont have periods and they are a few years younger than me ( or they stopped theirs in their 40s!) so not sure if that is an urban myth or not. you have to wait the year round ( some say two years) then your in the menopause. I had peri menopause symptoms for years though, as most women do.

The problem is that women who suffer from menopausal symptoms are - quite rightly - making some noise about it now.

Whereas those of us whose periods just tailed off and didn't have any discernible symptoms are able to just continue getting older. The body changes are a natural part of ageing and don't have to be negative if we as a society would stop being so disparaging about women.

I was mid-40s when I went through the menopause and I had a primary aged DD. The advice back then was not to prescribe HRT for symptomless menopause but I think new recommendations were brought in in Nov 2015 so you might want to do some research.

I'm in my 50s now with a teenager and very much enjoying her. I don't want to retire or go on cruises - I intend to work for a long time because I want to and need to.

Eat well, do appropriate exercise (weight bearing as well as cardio), take Vagifem for the vaginal atrophy, do your pelvic floor exercises and don't let the media make you feel shit because you're not dead.

Note to self: take your own advice

@wendywoopywoo222

Yeah I would also like to know why sex is better after the menopause..........

Apart from knowing you can't get pregnant, there is no reason why it would be better.

And apart from periods stopping, (and migraines ceasing, which are definitely linked to the cycle,) I don't think there are any advantages to menopause...........

Watching with interest, as I'm 50 and it hasn't started yet

I am 49 this month and same.....

I'm not sure how to recognize peri-menopause. But I'm assuming I'll know it when it happens!

This lack of periods people talk about - is that when you come out the other end of the menopause

They reckon 12 months without a period is when you've gone through menopause - but I know people who have gone 12 months and then got a period.

Like everything else it varies so much from person to person.

I once went 8 months and thought 'this is it' and then I got periods two months in succession. Then stopped again for 5 months and back they came. I went on for three or four years like that - missing a month here and there, then longer gaps. Even after my periods stopped completely, for the next couple of years I was still getting sore boobs and 'ovulation pain' feeling like I was going to get a period but then nothing materialised.

But it's now two and a half years since my last period and I feel great! No HRT here either - just a personal choice.

Some of these are definitely encouraging. Especially the bit where you realise that you have utterly run out of fucks to give about What People Might Think.

If your contraception has stopped your periods, how do you know when it's safe to stop using it? I haven't had a period for 6 years due to my implant.

I have had women tell me they were peri menopausal in their 30s!!

I am so reluctant to start taking drugs- i;m bad enough with an over the counter sleeping pill making me feel terrible - let alone hormones.
my periods have been up and down for a number of years up until last september, so that is a pain.

My periods didn't dwindle or become erratic, they just stopped dead about 2 years ago (I'm 54 this year). The hot sweats at night , though , are still going strong .

bigly placematting

Not having periods is a huge relief
For me that's the only change which can be attributed to menopause, dop seems to be asking is there anything good about getting older, more specifically is there anything good about being in your mid 50s because that's not really old is it?
I mean provided you have been conscientious with your health you shouldn't really feel as if you are deteriorating at that point in life.
Obviously there are superficial cosmetic changes ....greying hair, lines in your skin but you don't have to be fat or unfit

Bowen therapy is good for flushes as is a pile of different herbal remedies like black cohosh, red clover, etc.
Dunno why. It just is.

The only thing that worked for me was flaxseed oil. I tried various things without success, and then gave that a go and I noticed the difference in about a week. It didn't get rid of them but it definitely reduced the frequency and made them less intense and it was more than imagination or placebo effect. You have to keep it in the fridge as it is 'unstable' and I would take a cold tablespoonful every morning. Absolutely rank, but I was desperate.

Recommended it to a friend who was also suffering so she tried it and it did fuck all for her.

Just goes to show how different we all are, and how all our experiences will be different. What works for one won't necessarily work for another.

What the sod is vaginal atrophy?

Actually I was say I didn't have it too bad. I went through it early 40's. 2 years of being unsettled - mood swings, hot flushes and anxiety, feeling unable to cope. Then hey presto everything calmed down. No periods is by far the biggest win and the fact that you just don't give a shit. I would say embrace it, there is such a taboo in that you are less of a women or are barren - but to be honest I rather like it.

Vaginal atrophy happens to about 50% of post-menopausal women and your tunnel of love gets thin and dry, so it's uncomfortable and makes sex more difficult.