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Original poster

To ask if there's anything GOOD about the menopause?

156 replies

scampimom · 05/02/2018 10:00

Think I'm approaching menopause, and have made an appointment with the doctor to check, and maybe talk about possible treatment. But the more I look online for info about menopause the more depressed I get. It appears that what I have to look forward to is getting even fatter, losing the thickness of my hair, bones like porcelain, skin like leather, foof like the Sahara, sweats and tiredness, rage, sadness and sagging.

Does anyone have any positive experiences? The only positive things I can find all seem to centre on being in your 50s and having children who are grown up, thereby allowing you freedom to suddenly take up rock climbing or ashtanga yoga or cruise the world. But I'm early 40s and my DD is 4.5, she'll not be moving out much before I retire.

Tell me there's an upside to being a middle-aged dollop with a face like beetroot every hour or so? Grin

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 05/02/2018 11:36

all women's periods stop eventually -i think thats a plus myself.
i have put on weight ( trying to do something about that)
the rest i put up with, but i do find i snap a lot easier than i did before.
have no patience when i used to have lots.

Alwaysinmyheart · 05/02/2018 11:37

Mine hasn't been too bad either tbh. Hot flushes, but they pass pretty quickly. Love not having any periods, only downside is that I've completely lost interest in sex, and I used to bloody love it! Hope my sex drive comes back at some point...

The80sweregreat · 05/02/2018 11:41

never been keen on DTD as it is - even less now!!

noeffingidea · 05/02/2018 11:53

To ask if there's anything GOOD about the menopause
Are you kidding me? It's absolutely fantastic. No more periods. It's like going back to those carefree childhood days again OP. And I say that as someone who didn't really suffer with bad periods. Even so, they were still inconvenient.
And (admittedly more to do with age than actual menopause), it's so nice to be 'invisible', to not have to worry about being catcalled, or some guy trying to talk to me when I don't really want to, and wondering how to get out of it.
As for the physical side, my perimenopause was a bit rough at times, I had some irregular, heavy and longlasting periods for a few years, but nothing too bad or that required medical treatment. After my last period I had hot flushes for a couple of years, especially in hot weather. I managed them by giving up alcohol and caffiene and keeping a fan on as much as possible.
As for being 'fat', you can still lose weight, but you have to work harder at it. I would advise any woman of menopause age to look after themselves, to eat a healthy diet, exercise as much as possible, and to watch the alcohol intake (not smoking is obvious). It does pay off. I feel fitter and healthier than I did when I was in my 40's. I'm 57 now, 3 years into my menopause and I feel pretty good.

HisBetterHalf · 05/02/2018 12:11

ITS SHIT Sad

Scabbersley · 05/02/2018 12:15

It doesn't need treating, it's a natural part of life!

No periods and sex without worrying about getting pg!

I have put on weight but that's because I'm a greedy pig I think. I feel 'old' but I'm having visions of what life might be like being able to put myself first for the first time in 20 years! It's good!

gnushoes · 05/02/2018 12:22

Vaginal atrophy is more than about dryness - can be extreme pain in the vagina, vulva, bladder and urethra. Can deal with the rest of meno but not this which is why I'm embracing HRT. Not being able to sit, walk, run ain't fun. No quality of life.

Gazelda · 05/02/2018 12:27

I had an early menopause, so it was immediately suggested I take HRT. I've had some symptoms, but none too severe. I was emotional at the loss of opportunity to have more DC, but other than that I was delighted to never have to run my life around my menstrual cycle. Periods were hellish for me, I'm thrilled at having out them behind me.
My skin is still good, my hair ok, memory not too bad. I don't suffer with vaginal dryness.
And my dd is still young (I had her at 40 then immediately went into menopause) so we've escaped the danger of my meno coinciding with her teen hormone dramas.

TeaAddict235 · 05/02/2018 12:33

Well that's definitely something to look forward to @namechange2222 !!

Sweetpea55 · 05/02/2018 12:33

Im with you ladies,,,The night sweats are terrible,,,leg in bed..leg out,,duvet off...duvet on..Stand at the door to the garden in the pitch dark in the niff..trying to cool down.
I didnt want HRT because the side effects seemed too scary. So my GP gave me Clonidine for the sweats which have abaited considerably.

Melamin · 05/02/2018 12:36

Vaginal atrophy is now called Genitourinary symptoms of menopause. As well as shrivelled bits, this includes bladder problems because the lower half of your urinary tract and bladder have receptors for oestrogen, and when the levels go down it affects these areas too, leading to recurrent infections and incontinence.

You can get local oestrogen prescribed. As a cream, or as a tablet which is less messy. This only give you the equivalent of one hrt tablet in a year in your blood, if you follow the instructions properly (and do the 2 week 'load' when necessary)

You can also get natural moisturisers like Yes and pH balancers like multigyn actigel which help too, but you need your cells to work properly too so they are best used with local oestrogen.

KaliforniaDreamz · 05/02/2018 12:37

Fontella - thank you for your post xxx

AgeDefyingLizHurley · 05/02/2018 12:40

It doesn't need treating, it's a natural part of life!

Yes, women should just put up and shut up Hmm

Anyone really suffering with symptoms relating to meno should have a look at the Menopause Matters site, read the NICE 2015 report and go to their GP for an informed discussion. You don't have to suffer in silence just because you're female.

Scabbersley · 05/02/2018 12:44

Of course if you are suffering! But the OP said she was going to check with her gp and discuss treatment as if just entering the menopause is cause for medication, it isn't.

Plenty of women get through it fairly happily with no medical intervention, which is worth bearing in mind.

ivykaty44 · 05/02/2018 12:45

I stopped having periods over 3 years ago

TBH I never considered going to the doctor about it as I just thought it was “part of life”

Really like not having periods, for various reasons

The other thing is sex is much better 😊🤭

I don’t see that the menopause is really doom and gloom

INeedToEat · 05/02/2018 12:49

I'm 44. I didn't know when I was peri or going though the menopause.
Periods got a little erratic 18 months ago then stopped just over 12 months ago.

My skin has been a little spotty - have no idea if this is connected but no other symptoms.

Dipitydoda · 05/02/2018 12:53

Stopping the living hell that is endometriosis can’t bloody wait

KathyBeale · 05/02/2018 12:55

It is absolutely shit. I started being peri-menopausal at 38 when I was hoping to get pregnant. I’m now 44 and I have been on HRT for two years. I honestly think that without HRT I would have lost my job, and possibly my husband.

Last week I had a period - my first for 11months. I thought they’d gone!

I can’t say I am thrilled about the prospect of being on HRT for a decade, or the fact that - like you say - anything you read about the menopause is ‘yay I am 55 and fabulous!’

I have stopped crying when I think about it now but I’m still too embarrassed to tell many people about it. So all in all? Nope. No positives.

Checklist · 05/02/2018 13:00

Menopause itself - period as normal in July. Next period November. No more periods! No hot flushes or any other symptoms you read about!

Fantastic, it's like being 15 again, as no more

  1. PMT
  2. Cyclical breast pain
  3. Periods
  4. Worry about pregnancy
  5. Spots
Jaygee61 · 05/02/2018 13:03

Not had a period for 8 years. Feel fitter and stronger than I have ever been. No longer having oestrogen interfering with my tbyroxine levels (this happens if you are hypothyroid) means I have been able to lose weight (though could still do with losing a bit more). Never taken HRT or anything. Sex is great.

Original poster
scampimom · 05/02/2018 13:17

Ooh, Jaygee that sounds good.

I started at 12, so it would be like being an actual child again, not a teenage, when I had horrendous periods, pain, flooding and acne. You can keep that, thank you very much.

As it is, I have (as always) very heavy periods and all the shite of PMT, PLUS some menopause symptoms of low mood, zero libido, sweats and aches, so it kinda feels like I've got the worst of both worlds at the moment.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 05/02/2018 13:33

I am 51 now and have been perimenopausal for some years. My only real symptoms are very heavy and flooding periods and being more forgetful than I used to be.

I cannot wait for the menopause in order for these monthly floods to stop (I do take tranexamic acid to control them as much as possible), and I live in hope that each period I have now is my last. I get very annoyed each month so far when another one announces itself.

Original poster
scampimom · 05/02/2018 13:35

Oh yes, I have the tranexamic acid as well, it's marvellous stuff.

Where do I collect my red hat that doesn't go and doesn't suit me?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 05/02/2018 13:38

I don't have a red hat.

I do have a black rain hat that my DDs think is hilarious.

Bonkersblond · 05/02/2018 13:48

51 here, periods stopped after being slightly erratic just over 2 years ago, I’m still waiting for some menopausal symptoms, may have been slightly moody, no more so than before a period, may have had a few nights where I’ve been hot, nothing major, certainly not dripping in sweat. If I’m honest I’ve gained about a stone in weight probably down to poor choices which I didn’t care about but suddenly I do so doing something about it, that’s proving harder to shift than I thought but it’s slowly going, I’ve increased walking, do some yoga. I’m just glad it’s happened so I don’t coincide with DD’s (9) teenage hormones in a few years. Bloody marvellous having no periods, I feel great most of the time. Maybe having kids older, has given me a different focus, I don’t have much time to think about it.