To ask if there's anything GOOD about the menopause?

[scampimom]

Think I'm approaching menopause, and have made an appointment with the doctor to check, and maybe talk about possible treatment. But the more I look online for info about menopause the more depressed I get. It appears that what I have to look forward to is getting even fatter, losing the thickness of my hair, bones like porcelain, skin like leather, foof like the Sahara, sweats and tiredness, rage, sadness and sagging.

Does anyone have any positive experiences? The only positive things I can find all seem to centre on being in your 50s and having children who are grown up, thereby allowing you freedom to suddenly take up rock climbing or ashtanga yoga or cruise the world. But I'm early 40s and my DD is 4.5, she'll not be moving out much before I retire.

Tell me there's an upside to being a middle-aged dollop with a face like beetroot every hour or so?

Interesting that others have mentioned the disappearance of migraines as that what happened to me too. I hated my periods towards the end. Swollen and painful boobs for 10 days, then 5 days of horrific period pain, swiftly followed by a migraine. There were only a few days in the month when I felt normal. Now it is wonderful and I have never felt more stable and happy. It is 16 years since I finished.

Those who have endometriosis, when your periods completely stopped how much pain did you still have afterwards? I know endo scarring can be outwith the womb too.

I have just got HRT from my GP. Couldn't stand the symptoms anymore but wanted to wait long enough to have continuous HRT as I didn't want to get the instability of regular periods back - I used to get horrendous PMT.

However I always intended to get HRT not for the symptoms but for bone density. There are no symptoms of thinning bones and the first thing most women notice is a fracture. My mum had osteoporosis and made me promise to get HRT. Calcium and vitamin D are not enough. As women are living longer they are more at risk of developing osteoporosis. I'm surprised no one has mentioned this invisible condition.

Osteoporosis and Vag. At. (If anyone remembers from 'Getting On') are the silent lurkers - you think it is all over, then they appear several years down the line, when HRT is no longer an option (vaginal oestrogen is always an option though ).

My periods stopped for good over 12 years ago and it's fantastic!

My menopause was blissful, the only issue I had was nocturnal hot flushes for a few months. Didn't have mood swings or anything alarming. I feel smug when I think about how much I'm not spending on pads, tampons etc. I no longer get a faceful of zits every 4 weeks or so, painful tits, cramps or anything like that. I can wear white trousers every day for a month if I feel so inclined and I can barely remember what using contraception was like. Sex is as good as ever, if not better, no dry vaj issues at all. My insomnia is no worse than before.

My skin is better than it's ever been and at 62, most people think I'm in my 40s. My hair is drier than it used to be, but that's nothing a decent conditioner can't sort out. The only problem I have is arthritis, and that may be just old age, not menopause.

I know I've been incredibly lucky, but I have several friends who've had similar experiences. Only one of my friends had HRT (she got very depressed) and even she only took it for a couple of years.

Lack of periods=v good. I stopped them the month I turned 50.

Mild hot flushes occasionally=not so good - but if I drink lots of water=NO hot flushes at all. A friend has just reported the same.

Painful sex = very bad. The only part of it I really really hate.

I’m touching wood that this is as bad as it gets.

Keeponkeepingon I think weight bearing exercise is recommended to maintain bone density. You are right though, osteoporosis is something to be concerned about. Should also mention the risks of cardiovascular disease increase after menopause.

I’ve lost my fear. Scary men with intimidating faces are just people and I suddenly have the freedom to say what I think. Dunno why.

I started getting spells of hot flushes and night sweats from earlyish forties but it didn’t really get going until 49 when I was a permanent hit flush. I started low dose oestrogen plus I had a Mirena coil and the flushes stopped almost immediately.

My shape has changed an bit but not much and my hair and skin are only very slightly altered.

So it’s really not that bad. And you could be several years away from the main event. Peri menopause seems to be a looong transition for many of us.

Not using contraceptives is absolutely the best thing. They all have some downside.

I would like to not be scared of anything.

Unfortunately, I seem to get an adrenaline surge every time the bloody phone rings. It makes me a gibbering wreck. I am looking forward to the panacea that will bring post menopausal confidence. Bring it on!

I turn 49 this year, I cannot wait to have no periods I thought I was peri-menopausal this time last year, started having the night sweats, one period was then ten days late, I got excited ... Nope, the sweats disappeared and the periods have been regular as clockwork again. Darn thing fooled me.

Melanin - at what stage is HRT not an option? I'm about 8 years post meno and, since reading the NICE report in 2015, I've been trying to discuss starting HRT for the oesteo and heart benefits with the GPs at my surgery. They are either ill informed about the benefits versus the risks or reluctant to prescribe it.

I’m peri at the moment and can’t wait for my periods to stop.

I too have to take Tranexamic acid because of v heavy periods. My symptoms aren’t too bad at the moment, just the heavy periods and v bad pmt I don’t get the night sweats etc though.

My grandma and a few aunts have osteoporosis but I don’t like the idea of taking HRT just in case I get it. I do exercise though so hopefully that will help my bones.

It's wonderful !

Really, don't underestimate the effect of no periods.
No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods. No periods.

I didn't expect to feel quite so liberated by this. But no blood. No having to be careful. No problems wearing white, or skirts.

The couple of years in the run up to things just stopping were a bit tricky. I didn't get flushes or sweats much, but I did get rather more panicky, overwhelmed and anxious than usual.

I'm fairly high up in a high-expectations, very busy job, and I just thought I was overworking and taking on too much, as I was headhunted & made a huge move plus oversaw (and paid for, groan) the renovation of two houses. So even at the time, I realised there was something not quite right. I did have a few almost-meltdowns with anger in public that I look back on now wth a certain amount of shame.

So I think that it was the couple of years before the (abrupt) stop of menstruation that I had the most effects from the hormone changes. I also wish that I could get restful sleep. I haven't felt fully rested after a night's sleep consistently for the last 10 years or so.

But I didn't have too many hormonal difficulties, I'm not on HRT - never considered it really - and it's only now, at nearly 60, that my skin has started to go a bit soft & crumply.

And the amazing and wonderful thing about your 50s is that you start to really learn a) Life's too short; and b) who cares what anyone else thinks.

Immensely liberating.

Nope. It's shit and I feel fucking ancient.

I'm on her,sleeping well,minimal hot flushes,thinking clearly again.I have a sympathetic go so tried a few until we found one that suited me.The peri can be hell though,I haven't had a period for 9months,bliss.

HRT not her!

I have a really stupid question.

Can you take Hrt when you are peri menopausal or do you have to wait until you are Menopausal?

I have a really stupid question

Can you take Hrt when you are peri menopausal or do you have to wait until you are Menopausal?

Not stupid at all Lizzie and yes you can of course. In fact, I have a couple of friends who I think were a bit fast off the block! First sign of a hot flush and they were down the doctor's and straight on the HRT, but that's their choice of course.

There are 34 symptoms you can experience during peri/meno and I reckon I experienced about 30 of them. But I noticed a pattern and that was that I'd get a severe symptom and it would last a few weeks or months my body would sort it out by itself. I had that experience over a few years, so I decided not to go down the HRT route myself but for others it's a different story.

We are all so very different - when it comes to the 'change of life' experience there's no one size fits all. It's what works best for you.

You save a fortune on sanitary products and painkillers. You stop feeling shit up to 5 days every month and you don't have to have time off work because you feel so ill.

And (if you're happy about it) no pregnancy worries.

It's great!

And the amazing and wonderful thing about your 50s is that you start to really learn a) Life's too short; and b) who cares what anyone else thinks.

^^This.

With bells on.

Yes, you aren't dead!
That's not a flippant reply btw. I used to work for a company that make a menopause product and I queried why women get all these symptoms, that was the response.

No more anaemia! No more humiliating experiences giving presentations and worrying about leaks.

Love it. No pregnancy worries and kids all independent. I did have horrible peri menopausal flooding but the mirena sorted it.

Periods stopping is the best thing - I haven’t had one since September.

Not having to wear socks to bed is another bonus, always had annoyingly cold feet before.

Other than that, it’s all hot flushes, insomnia and night sweats here. The Hokey Cokey leg in and out of the duvet is fun, one minute dripping with sweat, the next freezing. I do miss being able to sleep, it used to be my favourite thing.

Have also put on weight but I still look fairly ok in my old clothes so it’s no biggy.

Wouldn’t really consider going to a gp about any of my symptoms. Can’t have HRT due to a family history of breast cancer. Haven’t looked at herbal remedies properly yet but might consider it at some point.

Oh yes, thought of another good one - I’m reading more books at night when I have the raging insomnia.