I have just returned from and epic, 8 day work trip, the first trip away from DD8 and DS5.
By all accounts DH did an awesome job for the entire week (until last night which is my issue), but I did put clothes and kit in daily piles for each child as well as prepare meals for the entire week or instructions for any packed lunches/snack requirements. Pretty much parenting by numbers, although I know it’s not always that easy.
Last night it was a friend’s birthday and kids were included on an invite to a small party at their house. It started at 6pm and usually we would leave in time to get the kids in bed by 10pm. Late but it doesn’t happen often.
I arrived home this evening after 30 hours of travel and I was so excited to see everyone – I haven’t even had wifi so literally no contact for a week. DH suggested going out for dinner and I wasn’t that keen as I am shattered, but better than cooking. On the way out, I realised that the kids were behaving oddly and DH was evasive about what time they had gone to bed. DD was more willing to divulge that they left the party at about midnight and had a sleepover with a friend - bearing in mind the party was 10 mins walk away and the sleepover house half way in between that house and ours, this is nuts. DH also stayed. DD told me that DS woke her up early so, at a guess, they would have had a max 5 hours sleep. At the restaurant we had just started our food when DS completely lost it over something trivial. A complete meltdown. DH was in complete denial that it was anything to do with him, instead telling me that there had been no shouting all week and now I come home and it starts. The restaurant was packed and rather than cause a scene I just left my food and walked home.
I shouldn’t have done that, it’s not fair on the kids, but I’m so exhausted I would have probably got into an argument with him.
When they all get home he still denied that it is anything to do with last night, and then I find out that they haven’t cleaned their teeth for two days (impromptu sleepover and early sports club today) and that he took then to another friend’s house this afternoon so he could watch rugby, only arriving home 10 minutes before my cab. The kids they were visiting are fairly crazy and DS looks up to them as they are older.
When I said anything about the situation he accused me of attacking him - reacting aggressively to questions that I thought were perfectly normal given the behaviour I had witnessed since arriving home. The kids are so fragile that they were upset we are fighting and blamed me for it, encouraged by DH. I’m the bad one. As in, everything was ok when I was away and now it’s not….
I’m furious that he has done this, and don’t understand how he can be in denial. Of course it has to do with no frigging sleep, tennis this morning and running round like crazy things until 6pm tonight. He’s now gone to bed in DS’s room with him, and DS who is a proper mummy’s boy is giving me the cold shoulder. DD had hysterics at our arguing and is in my bed waiting for me while I’m downstairs wondering why I even came home and feeling terrible about upsetting the kids.