to think my mum has been extremely rude about dh yet again

[Slartybartfast]

dh is going to stay with dd (20) for a few days, he will sleep on her floor.
my dm could not keep the disgust out of her voice.
eew i think she may have said.
FGS

talk me down from being so cross

don't the halls have a guest room that can be hired?

Mine doesn't even have enough rooms for all the freshers, so it’s unlikely there are empty rooms for guests.

Also not sure why PPs are suggesting DD sleeps on one of her friends’ floors - how is that any better than sleeping on her own floor?

She knows hat shes doing. Just another excuse to criticise.sounds like a narc to me. She would comment on anyone in your life.

Ignore your Mother! She sounds horrible!

Kritical
Or if its russell group

Not halls (I'm 42 and no mature student...) but I've shared twin hotel rooms, overnight ferry cabins etc with my df as an adult - twice in the past year. Your mum is 'eww', not your dh. I'm not going to talk you down. You should be bollocking her.

Actually I'd reduce her involvement in your life and never mention your dh. What's he doing? Oh nothing much. Never ever share an argument with her or moan or ask for marital advice. She sounds dreadful and i would go as far as to say if you broke up she would be thrilled.
Dont ask her to apologise
Just emotionally withdraw. It will obliterate any power she has against yoy xx

I totally get you op.
My DM has exactly the same attitude about parents/siblings of opposite gender sharing sleeping space once they are over about 14.
I put it down to her not having brothers, only sisters, and then going on to have daughters.
DM has no experience of males, other than what she gleans from the tabloids. My DF was quite a bit older than her and died when she was fairly young.
She is what I can only describe as flabbergasted that my BIL went to a function and stayed in the same room as his (31 year old)daughter and when I said my 3 (DDs, 22,17 and DS 19) shared a tent at a festival, I thought she was about to faint.
I do wonder if something has happened in her history sometimes.

In my 20's and 30's I used to go on holiday with my father, we'd pick up a B&B wherever we'd ended up in the UK. We'd usually share a room (cost reasons), and there were a couple of times when the only room available was a double rather than a twin so we'd share that. Never any question about it being "eeew", it was just a practicality.

I've also been away with my best friend for the odd night over the years who happens to be male & we actually dated back in 1980, and nothing "inappropriate" ever happened because we look on each other as brother & sister now.

It’s not eww or odd.
My halls were lovely too

that is right marmalade.

So your mother wouldn’t ever share a room with you OP?

In the absence of any detail, I'd have interpreted your mother's response to mean she was slagging off your daughter long before I'd have interpreted it as slagging off your husband.

I'd have read it as your mother thinking her granddaughter was a slovenly slattern.

Sounds to me that your mother just wants to criticise, rather than she things it's ewww.
If that is the case, you need to accept that is what she does, and don't give her the pleasure of offending you.
Or give her an ultimatum, involving hitting her where it hurts ( eg, unless you stop with the criticism you won't get to see dgc ), or stop having contact with her.

Otherwise you risk doing the dance of you getting continually wound up, while she gets satisfaction from the trouble she causes.

She is likely to deny all.

Sorry she is like this op. I know his tough it is.

I’m in my 40’s, my Dad would have been in his 70’s and if he was still alive I’d think nothing of sharing a room with him. We often used to share a cabin room when we went skiing. I go on holiday with my mum and share a room with her. I hate sharing a bed with anyone except my OH, but I’d do it if necessary. I only hate it because I’m an insomniac and fidget too and I worry about dusturbing them, so I never get any sleep. Nothing to do with ‘ewww’.

I’d ‘ewww’ at sleeping on the floor in ‘Halls’ these days though.

Its not the eww its the negative judgement of your dh in a long line of criticisms.

Well I wouldn't fancy sleeping on the floor in students accommodation and I certainly would not ask my daughter to sleep on the floor so I could have her bed.

However I'm assuming needs must, and he can not afford his own accommodation.

I guess I’m the only one who knew exactly what the OP meant right from the start.

Your mum is just being a judgemental weirdo. Just answer with a bright and breezy “oh he’s not bothered he’ll be fine!”

Probably your Mum is being a judgy pants.

I am a little surprised though at student children agreeing to have their parents stay with them in their accommodation. Mine just wouldn't have thought that cool at all when she first went to uni. She loved seeing us. She did have her two younger sisters to stay and they had a blast together. As parents though, we had to stay in a hotel nearby. That is why there weren't many whole family visits.

DH and I would not have wanted to sleep on floors in student accommodation, remembering very well what that was like from our own student days. We aren't posh by any means, but in our fifties now and no longer into roughing it the way we once might have done.

If your DH and DD are happy with the arrangement then that is fine, as long as the Hall of Residence has no rules against.

Different strokes for different folks.

I agree all the kids I knew hated when a parent stayed and the other kids felt sorry for them and thanked their lucky stars it wasn't them. Same with my daughter in her first year 18 months ago.

However as said, I'm sure he is staying there as there is no other option and isn't chosing to sleep in his daughters student accommodation on the floor.

Why tell her if you know she reacts to shit like this?

Why tell her if you know she reacts to shit like this?
This exactly

I am a little surprised though at student children agreeing to have their parents stay with them in their accommodation

It surprises me too. But dd lived on a corridor of 12 female students keeping all hours. It would have been embarrassing for her to have Dad going up and down the corridor to the kitchen or the shower or the loo. He would have looked and felt extremely out of place.
I can't imagine it being remotely acceptable to the others.
Maybe mil thoughts were in this direction.

My mother went to a girls boarding school, had a sister, and daughters, no sons, but dd lives in mixed accommodation.
there could be something in that

Can I just say my DDs student halls were pristine. Only one year old - spacious room with it's own kitchenette and ensuite.

Her floor is probably much cleaner than mine so not all student accommodation is grot. I assumed the DM meant it was weird/ick rather than weird/grot.