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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my mum has been extremely rude about dh yet again

103 replies

Slartybartfast · 03/02/2018 10:53

dh is going to stay with dd (20) for a few days, he will sleep on her floor.
my dm could not keep the disgust out of her voice.
eew i think she may have said.
FGS Angry

talk me down from being so cross

OP posts:
lidoshuffle · 03/02/2018 12:21

It would have been nice for younger, more flexible daughter to give up her bed for her dad, and kip on the floor herself. But otherwise I can't see any issue.

TinselAngel · 03/02/2018 12:24

Do they still have boys and girls corridors in halls these days? I don't think I'd have appreciated somebody's Dad staying in our girls corridor when I was at Uni, and using the shared facilities.

In fact I complained when the corridor Tutors much older boyfriend did this.

Maybe it's all mixed corridors and en suites now though.

Snacktimonious · 03/02/2018 12:24

I'd say Eeew as well. Sleeping on a floor for a few nights? Eeew. Student accommodation is a tiny box of a room. There's too much missing from this post to guess what's going on.
.

elisenbrunnen · 03/02/2018 12:27

I don’t even want to think about what’s been on that floor grin
You seem quite hysterical OP, - it's not the OP who seems hysterical in that post! Grin

OP - I met the mother of a friend of my ds2. The friend is now travelling, aged 21, and the mum (and husband) went out to meet up with him. They hired a motorhome and slept like sardines, all 3..

Was that 'odd'?

OP- I agree with you. Your mum is obviously projecting something 'eeeww' onto this.

spiney · 03/02/2018 12:39

God this thread has really got off on the wrong foot.

Think it's perfectly ordinary to sleep on floor in room - so what ? A blow up wouldn't go amiss though.
I expect hundreds do it.

I'd hope to be in a hotel myself but isn't always possible is it. Get real.

Don't think you sound hysterical 0p.Hmm

Back to your ML. Perhaps it's just the whole sleeping on the floor itself thing. Bet it's a while since she's done that. Some people never say the right thing.

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 03/02/2018 12:41

And I had a lack of sleep last night, my mother criticises dh and I defend him, every time

OP posts:
RadioGaGoo · 03/02/2018 12:45

You don't sound hysterical. It's a bit dramatic to suggest you did.

All I would say is that it maybe would be nice for DD to give up her bed for her father and sleep on the floor herself!

Your DM is maybe suggesting it's unhygienic to sleep on a floor? If so, she's a bit precious. At least your DH is spending time with DD!

Butterymuffin · 03/02/2018 12:47

i dont feel the need to explain where she lives,

You started the thread. Don't get arsy if people ask follow up questions. If you don't want to engage, think it all out for yourself maybe?

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/02/2018 12:49

Where exactly is the criticism of your DH in what your mother said, OP? What did you interpret the "Eew" to mean? You say she was disgusted, but why take that to mean disgusted with your DH rather than the idea of sleeping on the floor in students' halls? Maybe you should have asked to elaborate.

mummmy2017 · 03/02/2018 12:50

Student rooms are not box rooms
They have a bed, a desk, space to walk between the two , and a loo and shower room, it was bigger than my main bedroom.

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 03/02/2018 12:52

It was the room share she eew about, weird and hurtful

OP posts:
Original poster
Slartybartfast · 03/02/2018 12:53

Engage? I am offloading, the whereabouts of dd is irrelevant

OP posts:
rightsaidfrederickII · 03/02/2018 12:55

When my parents come to visit they sleep on the floor, on an airbed. There's nowhere else to put them, and I'm noticeably older than your daughter and definitely not a student!

Can't see the problem myself.

RadioGaGoo · 03/02/2018 12:55

Oh dear. My sister and I are odd then Whatshall. We are adults and both bundle into our mother's bedroom to sleep when we visit.

KriticalSoul · 03/02/2018 13:00

...is waiting to see if anyone feels the need to know if its an Oxbridge uni

Butterymuffin · 03/02/2018 13:02

So if you're just offloading, stop nitpicking about people's replies.

Kritical I think you mean is it a 'top uni'. Apparently all MNers' kids go to these Grin

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 03/02/2018 13:08

So just to clarify.

She is Ewwwing about

A parent sharing a room with their child

Not about someone sleeping on a floor?

mysteryfairy · 03/02/2018 13:13

I don't really understand the MIL/DH dynamic in the posts but actually I think I'd be a bit dismayed to find a middle aged man was staying in my DD's halls.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/02/2018 13:17

Why are you being a coy drama llama? What in fact is there to talk you down from? This whole thread makes no sense.

Spartak · 03/02/2018 13:19

Older guests were not allowed when I was in halls a few years back. If site security found out they would come round and chuck them out.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 03/02/2018 13:23

Why couldn't your DD stay with another friend if she's going to sleep on the floor and let your DH have the room to himself?

This might be a good solution

babyccinoo · 03/02/2018 13:33

the whereabouts of dd is irrelevant

Except it's not. Lots of posters have explained why.

rothbury · 03/02/2018 13:33

OP it would be helpful if you explained properly from the outset, but I think you are saying

DM thinks DH should not share a room with our 20 year old DD. She thinks there is something disgusting/odd about it.

Is that correct? Do you know why she thinks this? Does she have an "all men are perverts" mentality? Has something happened in her past?

You mention that she regularly slags DH off. Are all her comments around him being some kind of sexual deviant?

rothbury · 03/02/2018 13:36

spartak at what age were guests considered too old? I think that's a very odd regulation and probably illegal to discriminate on basis of age.

At my DDs uni halls there were students of all ages, so those posters who don't want their adult DC to mix with older adults need to have a rethink. It's fairly common to have a wide age range on most uni courses these days I should think.

Snacktimonious · 03/02/2018 13:38

My dds student room was like a boxroom. It had a bed, a chair and a desk. If anyone had slept on the floor they'd have got in the way of the person getting in and out of bed. The showers and toilets were down the corridor. 3 toilets and showers between 12 of them. Student accommodation is not all the same.