NC for this.
I live with my husband and female friend who's our lodger. She pays rent every month and has her own room while having full use of the rest of the house. She works nights (5 on, 2 off) and we're all in our early thirties.
Lodger has always been lazy. She never cleans the communal areas but has always seen to her room. About a year ago she brought a cat home who was due to be put down that belonged to her friend and it didn't get along with our cat so she keeps it confined to her room at all times. The cat won't leave the room even if the door is open so while I've been concerned about the cat, I've been told she's fine.
Lodger hasn't cooked in months. She orders takeaway, eats in her room and doesn't take the rubbish out. She does a big clean maybe once a month and fills our bin up when she does it. I haven't spoken to her about this because I didn't want her to be embarrassed.
She's been away for four days with no contact. I tried texting her asking if she was coming home and if she needed me to feed the cat. No response. Called many times. One ring and straight to voicemail. Mutual friends said she was out drinking Wednesday and yesterday so I knew she was safe but I couldn't get hold of her at all. I'm annoyed because I've fed her cat on request before but either a) she expected me to feed the cat or b) didn't mind the cat starving with no fresh water for days.
After realising the cat hadn't been fed in two days I went into her room to feed it and OH MY GOD THE MESS. Cat litter and poo on the carpet, clothes everywhere, tins and tins of empty cat food on the side and the smell was disgusting. I fed the cat and left but mentioned it to my husband who went upstairs and said he could smell it on the landing. He said we couldn't live like this and went in to change the cats litter tray, take out the three black bags of rubbish he found including one of used cat litter and to crack a window.
Lodger came home today and said hello. We didn't say anything. She obviously noticed her room was cleaner and didn't confront us. We went out and came home to her leaving for work through the front door without even saying goodbye as usual so she's annoyed.
Was this unreasonable to feed her cat and expect not to live in filth in our home? It was absolutely reeking. Planning on having a conversation Sunday when I next see her about where to go from here.