Stepdaughter and BO

[Boxingdaydisappoints]

DSD doesn't live with us full time, she is with us EOW and a couple of days in the week. At 14 she's totally into her make up and is rather good at it, I wish I had her skill. She wears a lot but not worried as I think this is perfectly normal at her age. What does worry me is that she always smells of BO when she turns up at our house. She obviously thinks her appearance is important as her hair is immaculate and so is her make up but she clearly hasn't showered recently. We often go straight out for dinner when they arrive on the Friday but I'm finding reason to cancel this as she's smelly! I don't have the best, most communicative relationship with her and her dad will tell her to shower when she gets here, but why doesn't she know to do this anyway? She must be able to smell it?

My dd is 9, almost 10. So I don’t yet have the teen experience. If you want someone to talk to about this, I have read the stepparenting boards are good, I’ve never frequented them though.

I do think if you had given a bit more background, you would have got different responses than the ones in the thread.

All I can suggest though is you perhaps buy your dh a parenting book. 10 things girls need most is very good, even for teens. It explains you get a second chance to fix the parenting failures during the teen years. It does go on about having 2 parents. But that’s not something any of you can control. www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_15?sprefix=10+things+girls%2Caps%2C160&crid=2IE0VMQDPSROU&tag=mumsnetforum-21&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=10+things+girls+need+most it’s half price on amazon.

I had pretty crappy and abusive parenting. As a result, I spent years in counselling. Now in my 40’s, I found a really good therapist a few years ago. She filled lots of gaps in my knowledge and taught me how to be a grown up. My dd at 9 know things that I didn’t know until I got to my 40’s. Sometimes I’m amazed at her wisdom.

It must be horrible for you standing watching a train smash.

Your dh needs to have a proper word otherwise he can be picking up her used sanpro. See how long both keep doing it then!