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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Supply teacher physically hurt my child

132 replies

Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 31/01/2018 12:31

Putting it hear for traffic
I have a 9 year old dd who yesterday had a supply teacher in school & the teacher gripped my dd in the bottom back region & pinched her to stop her going into the computer room without even telling her first even she come home showed me & told me what had happened she was left with marks on her back so I took photos & had her write her account of the event went to the school this morning & seen head & was she said it had to be dealt with by Edcaution as teacher was from agency & took photos & statement from me Itold me supply teacher isn't there today & sent my dd into class i felt very unsatisfied by our discussion just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience & what advice you can give or if anyone knows more about this as to me its a very serious matter to her it seemed like a everyday thing very concerned by it all? Tia

OP posts:
rowdywoman1 · 31/01/2018 14:08

OP,
Ask the school who they have reported this to? Have they made a safeguarding referral about the adult? If so, who to?

If they just say they've just told the agency then tell them that if they don't make a safeguarding referral , you will be forced to go to the police. All schools have a process that they must follow if an adult has harmed a child in any way so they must follow this.

I

songbird11 · 31/01/2018 14:10

Shouldn’t really be grabbing kids at all.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:11

A safeguatding referral is not needed yet. The teacher's side of the story needs to be heard first.

InsomniacAnonymous · 31/01/2018 14:12

There was no need for the supply teacher to use physical restraint at all. Just speak to the child instead!

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 31/01/2018 14:13

FFS no wonder the police are overworked. The school are dealing with it!

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:14

No the teacher's side of the story does not need to be heard first. If a child has made an allegation, there are marks on the child, and photographs to evidence them, then a safeguarding referral DOES need to be made. Particularly as this was not a situation in which any teacher needed to use physical restraint to protect anyone.

I would still call the police, personally.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:15

The Head took photos and a statement and is dealing with it.

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:16

Assault is a criminal matter. Not something for the Head to deal with in house.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:16

None of us know the situation, this is a mother's version secondhand from a child. The Head knows the teacher, child and mother and more about the circumstances.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 31/01/2018 14:18

Even if it was appropriate to restrain this child to avoid her getting hurt, leaving a mark is not acceptable. That said, you do need to give the head enough time to investigate. Await a response and then decide if you’re satisfied or not. You need to know exactly what happened.

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:20

The OP is pretty clear and detailed, and OP has photographs of the marks. If your child told you they were assaulted by a stranger in the park, and showed you marks, would you say "well, we don't have his side of the story darling, I can't just take your word for it"?

Assault is no less criminal because it's a teacher perpetrating it, and schools/LAs don't have their own independent legal system. It's a school, not the Army.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:20

I once knew a pupil who would inflict injury because they knew it got the response that they wanted. Not saying this has happened but just one of the reasons a calm approach is required here.

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:23

I knew a child who falsely accused her uncle of sexual abuse. Doesn't mean I wouldn't report if my child disclosed similar to me. Hmm

I'm a primary school supply teacher by the way. No way would I lay a hand on a child in this way. It's appalling.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:25

Yes and it has been reported!!!!!

Original poster
Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 31/01/2018 14:29

It's a fab school & everyone who works there is, I guess I'm just to sensitive about the situation as it's my child & rationally I know the head has steps she has to follow, my mother thought maybe she gone to grab her clothing too but grabbed her skin & pinched at that without realising but Its still unexceptional to grab at child's clothing, after she had gripped her she told my dd 'I thought I said ........ can go' then left go of her & put her hands on my dds shoulders & turned her around which there was no need for with my dd as all she had to do was tell my dd to go back to her seat & she would of she loves school & has respect for all adults im devastated this has happened to her but now I've done some researh I can see it's a lengthy process it's awful how children have less rights than a adult when it comes to things like this

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:29

Yes, that's the advice for the school to follow. It doesn't preclude the parent from making a criminal report. If my child had marks left on them by an adult, I would expect both to happen.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:33

Op many children behave differently when in a class of 30 and get carried away with friends. I often put my hand of their shoulders to guide them. Dealing with 1 or 2 children is vastly different to a whole class. I am not defending this teacher, just saying we were not there and don't know what happened.

Namesarehard · 31/01/2018 14:33

All those saying let the head deal with it. Ok so what happens if the teacher denies all knowlage of it, then what? I'd also be speaking to the police.

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:36

And do you leave a bruise when you put your guiding hand on a child's shoulder MrsHarry? I doubt it.

I have had some really difficult, challenging classes and it's even more hectic when you don't know the children's names and they don't know you. But that's why it's a job that requires training and safeguarding. This teacher has left a mark on a child that showed up in photographs hours later. In no possible universe is that not a criminal matter.

Original poster
Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 31/01/2018 14:37

Yes I agree the hand on her shoulders is okay in certain circumstances but without even asking her to return to her seat first I think is extreme, I ain't so bothered by that but the grabbing her & marking her I am

OP posts:
MsHarry · 31/01/2018 14:37

We just don't know enough. Of course teachers shouldn't leave a mark. But if it was accidental, what then?

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:37

What do you think the teacher is going to say, when given her opportunity to "give her side of the story", before any action is taken? "Oh yes, sorry, I did hurt your child and leave a mark, silly me! Prosecute me and have me struck off!"

dustarr73 · 31/01/2018 14:38

Op many children behave differently when in a class of 30 and get carried away with friends. I often put my hand of their shoulders to guide them. Dealing with 1 or 2 children is vastly different to a whole class. I am not defending this teacher, just saying we were not there and don't know what happened.

That might be teh case but the young girl was left with bruises.So the teacher must have grabbed her hard.

Greensleeves · 31/01/2018 14:38

It's for the police to investigate and discover whether it was accidental (not that it would be excusable if it were accidental, you don't just grab a child). They won't just clap her in irons and throw away the key.

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