Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
PasstheStarmix · 30/01/2018 10:00

Older child: 'when I was an older child/teen, my parents refused to ever leave my much younger sibling at home to spend some quality time with me. They spent so much time dealing with toddler tantrums etc I got ignored and over-looked. AIBU?'

I think taking an older child on a day trip one on one to spend some quality time is very different from spending an entire holiday without their sibling.

Original poster
Ember12 · 30/01/2018 10:00

Marriedwith i would still have a cocktail or two with my 2 year old been there so not really relevant

OP posts:
SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 30/01/2018 10:01

I couldn't have done this when my third was that Age, as there is no way my older children would have been happy being apart.

We have had all kinds of holidays with little ones, and most of the time everyone could be accommodated.

Water parks have splash pools for smaller lids, theme parks have rides for all ages.

Dancergirl · 30/01/2018 10:03

I think taking an older child on a day trip one on one to spend some quality time is very different from spending an entire holiday without their sibling

That is very true

user1474652148 · 30/01/2018 10:05

There is no way I could leave one behind for what sounds like a really fun holiday. It is actually quite cruel and she will miss you terribly as it is for a whole week.
Not sure how you expect her to feel as you pack up and leave altogether.

Original poster
Ember12 · 30/01/2018 10:05

My oldest are ten and nine yes old enough to be confident in water not old enough to be left to take care of themselves. Poor overlooked kids really?

OP posts:
Marriedwithchildren5 · 30/01/2018 10:05

Ember 12. A lot more relaxing to have a drink on holiday with no 2 year old??? You'll find that op commented on it herself. Rttt properly before you decide what is relevant!

Original poster
Ember12 · 30/01/2018 10:06

I am the op!

OP posts:
poshme · 30/01/2018 10:06

OP I have left my youngest child behind twice with grandparents when we have been on week long family holidays- she was 2, then 3 and we were skiing.

She would have been in childcare abroad with strangers but instead had fabulous 1:1 time with grandparents.
She loved it & still gets out the photo album of pics to show me what she did. (Now 6)

Last time we did it My older daughter wanted to stay home too!

YANBU
And tell SIL none of her business.

MadMags · 30/01/2018 10:07

I was being sarcastic because a PP was asking what about the feelings over be older children.

The older children who get taken on holidays where baby is strapped into a pram for hours while they go on rides at theme parks. The older children who will be taken away without the hassle of their little sibling.

See? Sarcasm!

Dancergirl · 30/01/2018 10:09

My oldest are ten and nine yes old enough to be confident in water not old enough to be left to take care of themselves. Poor overlooked kids really?

That's a good point. Yes sorry I am changing my stance somewhat. I speak of someone with 2 teens and a younger child. Youngest is very much wanted and loved but older two do find her behaviour quite difficult at times and I'm careful to consider their feelings too. Resentment doesn't always come from the youngest!

mydietstartsmonday · 30/01/2018 10:09

Why don't you take your mum with you, she can baby sit a little but also get a break herself.

Original poster
Ember12 · 30/01/2018 10:09

And let’s be honest here; OP and her DH are looking forward to drinking at the pool because the older ones can take care of themselves in the water. Hardly sounds like they’re looking to have ultimate quality time with the poor, overlooked oldest kids. hmm

Yes sounds like sarcasm Hmm

OP posts:
MadMags · 30/01/2018 10:12

Again; I was being sarcastic about the kids being taken on the holiday because that poster has said perhaps you and your DH were looking to spend time with the eldest who might be resentful of the youngest.

Get it now? I can’t explain it any more clearly.

What will you do when your mother runs herself into an early grave? You might actually have to spend drinking by the pool time with all of your needy children.

PasstheStarmix · 30/01/2018 10:12

If you take your mum at least then dc won’t be left with strangers abroad and dc will feel included at same time. It’s the best option I think.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 30/01/2018 10:12

Haha well you should have known you mentioned it! I only glanced as it was aimed at me. I was obviously so confused by the random response! GrinBlush

user1474652148 · 30/01/2018 10:12

Surely all the children’s feelings count including the youngest one that is just about to be left behind.
There is no reason why you and dh can’t allocate a couple of afternoon each got the older children whilst the other looks after dd3. IF the real reason for leaving the little one is to spend more time with your other children. You can all go then.

endofthelinefinally · 30/01/2018 10:13

I think this is a great idea.
The 2 year old will have a lovely time being the centre of attention with grandparents. Your older two will have a lovely time doing age appropriate things.
It is not the business of anyone else.

Rebeccatheold · 30/01/2018 10:17

Bloody hell, OP is getting a bit of a bashing here.

Its nobody's business how the OP arranges 'child care'. Perhaps her mum actually enjoys spending time with her grandkids?

OP, if you're happy to leave your DC for a week with their grandma go for it. I expect your little one will have a whale of a time with grandma.

user1474652148 · 30/01/2018 10:18

End of the line

How on earth do you know the dd3 will enjoy being left behind for an entire week?

Do you know how long that feels to a child of that age?

You have no idea whether she will be the centre of the universe or whether it will all prove too much for everyone.

Fast forward op sits by the pool sipping cocktails oblivious to the pain she is causing. I can’t believe anyone would seriously be so unkind to such a young child.

That kid is going to need a tob of therapy by the time she is a teen. Clearly she is totally unwanted and doesn’t fit in with ops lifestyle choices.

user1474652148 · 30/01/2018 10:18

Tob - ton

beanii · 30/01/2018 10:18

We have 3 children and couldn't ever go on holiday without on of them regardless of age Confused

user1474652148 · 30/01/2018 10:19

Rebecca

She asked our opinion remember

PasstheStarmix · 30/01/2018 10:20

OP, if you're happy to leave your DC for a week with their grandma go for it. I expect your little one will have a whale of a time with grandma.

That’s what people thought in the 90’s about my sister. She hated it as felt excuded and holds it against my parents to this say.

PasstheStarmix · 30/01/2018 10:20

day