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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:49

She's made her decision (probably before she posted) I won't change her mind!

Everyone In the family, the older kids, DH and herself think it's a great idea and we will have a gear time without her. That's sad, for me it would be like a link was missing.

I think it's an awful thing to do and I stand by it!

Only started waking a few months ago and will need pram seven months later is a ridiculous excuse! She'll be so different walking in August!

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 22:50

We take one large family holiday every year in may/june time we always have and will continue to do so

I then take a family holiday in the 6 weeks with my oh and children.

You are finding any thing in my posts no matter how innocent and trying to paint me as a mother who doesnt need or want the hassle of looking after her unwanted child.

Yes i asked for opinions but you have gone way beyond that yes maybe others have with certain single comments but you have taken this to a whole new level in my opinion

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:53

then take a family holiday in the 6 weeks with my oh and children.

But not alll your children....

You know what OP get on with it, your daughter will make up her own mind I her own time!

OOOOOOOOOOO · 31/01/2018 22:57

JobJobJob

I think you've posted about 50 posts saying the same thing again and again and again.    You seem determined to try and upset some random person on the internet.  It's a strange and sad thing to be so hell bent on doing.

Are you doing it for fun?

Howlongtilldinner · 31/01/2018 22:59

OP..ignore ignore ignore..Hmm

famousfour · 31/01/2018 22:59

People are terribly dramatic - no I don't think you are being unreasonable. I would if this was the one and only holiday your family was ever going to have.

I know more than one family who leave their youngest (non skier) at home with GPs when they go skiing with the older children for example. It never gave me the slightest pause for thought. Let alone thinking it was all going to result in a lifetime of trauma.

Bluelady · 31/01/2018 23:00

No, she's doing it because she's deranged and jealous.

Howlongtilldinner · 31/01/2018 23:01

Clearly unhingedHmm

eggncress · 31/01/2018 23:09

OP... go on your holiday, leave little one with your mum who will love having her and will pamper her. Don’t feel guilty... ignore SIL and anyone else you feel is launching an attack on you ( on here) and go have a fab time FlowersSmile

Weebo · 31/01/2018 23:10

I'm glad you are not taking it all too personally, OP.

For what it's worth I think you all sound like a lovely, close family (extended too) and are just trying to make sure everyone gets the best of every experience.

That's what your DD will remember when she's older, not a single week in 2018.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 31/01/2018 23:10

Bullying if another poster who doesnt agree. Nasty and offensive.

PurplePenguins · 31/01/2018 23:11

Personally I would jump at it. I took my older 3 (agesd 17, 14, 12) away and left 2.5yo DS4 with my cousin (I swapped her DS, aged 11, for DS4😁). She had DS4 and her own DD age 3. They went out to places her DS didn't want to go and we went to places that wouldn't have been easy to do with DS4. Win win. Ignore the gf and enjoy xxx

manicmij · 31/01/2018 23:11

What's wrong with going on holiday with two older children and leaving a 2 year old with a grandparent who has offered? The two older ones will always be having to compromise with only one parent able to escort on rides. The two children will remember having fun with both parents - the two year old won't remember a thing about being left behind and will probably have a great time being spoiled by grandmother. Absolutely nothing to do with family members what grandmother does in this respect. Go on holiday, leave 2 year old and enjoy the time with the older ones

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 23:23

Thierry i hope that isnt aimed at me i most certainly have not bullied anyone

OP posts:
Cookie37 · 31/01/2018 23:26

How about taking your Mum and the 2 yr old with you - she can have a holiday and enjoy looking after the little one in the day maybe so that you can still do activities with the older kids. Otherwise, leave the 2 yr old with Granny and go and have a great time !
(Btw, I can’t imagine why you’d even have the conversation with the girlfriend - it’s nothing to do with her !? )

nursy1 · 31/01/2018 23:38

It wouldn’t have worked for me. I might do it for a long weekend but a week is a long time for a 2 yr old. I think our older kids wouldn’t have liked leaving the young ones at home. However, it’s not the worst thing in the world if you decide to do it.
We had a big family. Water parks or similar for the older kids with Dad whilst I stayed with youngest. It’s hard work for a while. Our best family holidays were either in U.K. or France, not a long journey or just staying home and doing days out.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 31/01/2018 23:47

No, she's doing it because she's deranged and jealous.

Clearly unhinged

Demented

This is starting to tip over into personal attacks and the language of bullies.

Get a grip and debate and argue instead of attacking and trying to land blows.

Rachie1973 · 31/01/2018 23:52

Ember12
Yes i will miss her
yes i will enjoy my cocktails
Yes i will enjoy my holiday with my oldest
Yes i am thinking about ALL my children
Yes i do feel slightly guilty
And yes my daughter will be left with her gp having a amazing time with family and in the best hands.

I'm so glad you're going :) I hope you have an amazing time. Don't feel guilty! xx Have a Long Island Iced Tea for me x

CynthiaRothrock · 01/02/2018 00:36

You are not a bad parent at all everyone is different and if it works for you then fine. I was the youngest of 3. my 2 sisters were 12and 10 years older than me. I used to get left with my gp all the time...it was fucking BRILIANT... i was spoilt rotten and i didnt give a shit what they did or where they went.... as i grew up i joined in more until th 2 eldest left home/didnt want to do family activites. Then my parents had another and there was a 9yr gap between us...i was the eldest at home. We still had hoidays /activities but the baby was always there, always.... he didnt get left behind and i as the eldest (in the sitation) resented my parents for not giving me the same alone time with the that my sisters had had at that age. If we went to the pool they were in the baby pool, if we went to a theme park one of them had to stay with the baby etc.

So go for it op and give your older two some alone time. You're going away again in may so baby isn't missing out, she gets the chance to spend time with gp, see her cousins and probably get spoilt rotten. Your mum sounds amazing and a long as she is truly happy to have her for a full week and you think your daughter will be able to cope (every child is different...my eldest is quite happy to b without me for long periods of time to the point she would only notice i was missing whe she run out of books and chocolate- where as my youngest STILL follows me to the toilet) then go for it.

Eitak1 · 01/02/2018 03:17

Stop breathe.
You want to go away.
It felt right for you.
This is your decision.
You do not need ANYBODIES approval and you don’t need to ask for it.
Don’t look for judgement.
You are perfect.
Keep living with love. 🌈

Fionne · 01/02/2018 03:25

OP, I have my grandchildren to stay from a very young age so going on holiday and leaving children with granny is normal in our familiy. I’m not sure though about leaving one and taking the others but that said I’ve gone on holiday with two of my lot and not taken their 2 year old sister because we were going thousands of miles away for 3 weeks.

I’m sorry I can’t be of help to you. 🤔

Fionne · 01/02/2018 03:29

Sorry Op, I just realised that you’re going.

Have a great holiday. The wee one will be happy with granny. I’d even go as far as to get her a special suitcase just for her - and not just because my favourite picture of my eldest granddaughter is her aged about 18 months running down her path trying to pull her trolley bag when she was coming to stay with me. She’d been lots of times before that but I think that was the first time excitment built up in her head.

Sallystyle · 01/02/2018 06:27

OP, I can photoshop the left behind child onto your family photos if you like Grin I am good at it.

Sallystyle · 01/02/2018 06:34

If you go ahead with this holiday, there will be far reaching consequences.

Like what?

I wish staying with my grandmother for a week whilst my older siblings went on holiday was all I had to moan about my childhood.

A well adjusted child who is well loved and cared for and who isn't a snowflake will not give two shits about this when they get older. If they do, their problems go much deeper.

DD is getting a holiday. She will have many many more to look back on. The one she missed out on when she was 2 years old is not going to have far reaching consequences.

cocktailismyfavouritefilm · 01/02/2018 07:35

Go for it. It sounds like a really good idea. I'm sure your older children will love having you to themselves and it sounds like your youngest will be doted in by your mother and other family.

I think as some people on here wouldn't do it themselves (which is also fine) they are having trouble seeing that for others it's not a problem.

Enjoy your holiday. Smile