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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:04

I'm clinging on to it because I know how your daughter will feel!

Great she being left in the best hands, I felt my hands were the best for my children but we are all different

Enjoy your relax by the pool and cocktails, I enjoy mine in a family that are all old enough to be confident in water.

Remember OP you said all these things about relaxation, cocktails, best hands etc, they are all your words.

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:05

Oh so now a May (foreign) holiday, not just peppa pig

Drip drip drip drip 😂

WonderLime · 31/01/2018 22:05

I'm clinging on to it because I know how your daughter will feel!

Oh right, I didn't realise you are actually the OP's 2 year old daughter.

Weebo · 31/01/2018 22:06

I don't think people got you were joining me in taking the piss out of their dramatics, OP.

The cute thing has set them off.

RUN.

WonderLime · 31/01/2018 22:06

Not 'drip drip, - she literally said about the other family holiday several pages ago. If you are going to attack someone to the level you are going at, at least try to keep up with the information at hand.

QueenDramaLlama · 31/01/2018 22:08

if your children will be traumatised for life because they missed a holiday then that’s because they have clingy over anxious parents
Oh yes makes complete sense. (sarcasm)

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:09

Wonder how do you know different!

Anyhow now the OP is taking her on family holiday in May with pool, beach and everything and she won't be to young, won't be i Moran to long because she can't walk for long, blah blah

After 100s of posts she just remembered this... up until recently she only remember peppa pig world!

Bloody amazing recall of memory!!

Exiguous · 31/01/2018 22:09

Just a bit different to we can afford to take you all on holiday but choose not to?

My post was really about how much I loved my grandparents, but I guess that bit was inconvenient for you to read so you just skimmed over it.

Sometimes my parents went on holiday without us too. As you can see I'm deeply damaged by it Hmm

OOOOOOOOOOO · 31/01/2018 22:10

Blimey JobJobJob you are on a mission here.....

If you have kids I hope you aren't neglecting them by spending all your energy and time fighting the fight on Mumsnet. 😂

Weebo · 31/01/2018 22:12

OP posted about the holiday in May this morning, Job.

Bloody amazing eh?

WonderLime · 31/01/2018 22:15

But she literally already mentioned the May holiday which will include the youngest and the oldest. You didn't read the whole thread and are now jumping on the OP for information she already provided. It's desperate and a bit demented.

How do I know? Same thing happened to my DP - he doesn't even remember the damn holiday and he always had very happy memories of his childhood. But obviously the trauma is there - just buried so far down that it's gotten lost in his loving memories of his grandparents.

I was also left my parents before my brother was born and I have absolutely no memory of that at all!

But yes, you clearly know how the DD will feel. Hmm

caringcarer · 31/01/2018 22:17

I'd take Mum on holiday too. That way she can help out with 2 year old when you take older fc swimming etc but you will be there if 2 year old needs a cuddle.

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:19

Blimey JobJobJob you are on a mission here.....

If you have kids I hope you aren't neglecting them by spending all your energy and time fighting the fight on Mumsnet. 😂

My children are grown up, well adjusted as they were treated as equals!

Yes op is taking youngest on holiday with extended family on May, not as a individual family or mum, dad and siblings.

OP is going, she's booked!

Lots think she's wrong, lots thinks she's right!

She asked an opinion and got it, I spoke my experience but that counts for nothing!

Hey ho OP you take lots of photos for the FAMILY album!

Weebo · 31/01/2018 22:22

Pfft, she can just photoshop the little tag on in for the FAMILY album if needs be.

'Tis super easy.

Wink
Menarefrommarsitwouldseem · 31/01/2018 22:23

I don't think it's a bad idea. The older children need attention too.
I quite often have a day shopping with my eldest and then a day doing something my youngest would like and they're only 4 years apart.

I don't think I could do it though. Mainly as I am neurotic enough as it is. My 2 stopped with my parents for 2 nights when we moved house. They missed me so much. They're very close to my parents too but they just wanted to be at home with me.

My only concern reading through all this- your mum works 60 hours a week in her 50s and then has a day looking after a grandchild.
I couldn't even manage this and I'm in my thirties!
I had my 18 month old nephew recently for the day and night and couldn't get over how tired it left me. So out of practice now!

WonderLime · 31/01/2018 22:24

Pfft, she won't know she wasn't there. Just tell your DD that she took the pictures Wink

Weebo · 31/01/2018 22:26

Wonder. :o

'You insisted darling! Such a natural'

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 22:26

Jobjob i appreciate and wanted everyones opinions thats why i posted, yours however i feel are an attack about myself and my family situation

OP posts:
Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 22:28

Weebo and wonder loving the comebacks! Grin without you two i think i would have taken this alot more personal Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 22:29

Menarefrom my oh parents and sister will be there to help out aswell

OP posts:
SpareASquare · 31/01/2018 22:39

Oh so now a May (foreign) holiday, not just peppa pig

Drip drip drip drip 😂

That was mentioned pages and pages ago Confused

There are some posters that seem quite unhinged and there is NO way it is because they were left once at 18mths,2,4 etc. No way. There are unresolved issues and whether it is from crappy parenting or whatever, it makes their posts pure projection and that, in itself, makes the opinion invalid.

There is nothing worse than a mummy martyr and what is truly awful about them is that they don't realise the potential damage they are causing their own children.

Pretty sure we are all selfish at different times. I can pick the self flagellation experts a mile off.
Left kids out many times for many reasons depending on the activity. Sometimes I simply don't WANT to take the youngest. Rather than her being ageneral inconvenience and unwanted child, I occasionally do find it inconvenient to take her to certain activities/events. Easy to navigate and no reflection on how I feel about her and her place in our family. A good parent can manage this without scarring for life as seems to have happened to some here. I'm truly sorry for that

And no matter what, I find that there definitely IS a touch of jealousy in some posts and from some posters. To have the kind of family set up the OP has and many of us do have, with truly amazing gparents and extended family who WILL absolutely ensure that the little one does NOT have negative memories is worthy of envy.
The knowledge and security of having that v not having that is probably closer to why there is such a division.

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 22:39

It's not, I'm answering tote question does it make me a selfish and awful mother...yes!

You'll take young DD away when other family members are around to help, you'll offload her when they aren't.

It's sad for her.

PinkGinFreak · 31/01/2018 22:41

This is absolutely nothing to do with the girlfriend, your brother should tell her to butt out. Absolutely nothing wrong with leaving 2 yr old with nana, make the most of it while you can, my mum is now sadly too old to help out with things like that. The baby will get great holidays with you too when he's older and he can appreciate/remember hem

OOOOOOOOOOO · 31/01/2018 22:41

JobJobJob

There a big difference from giving your 'opinion' and hounding the OP with post after post after post of increasingly harsh comments. I think everyone got the message after your first 30 or 40 posts.

I'm not sure if you are genuinely posting to try and change the OPs mind or simply to try and make her feel awful. It's coming across as very unkind.

Geordie1944 · 31/01/2018 22:46

Do you really need to ask?

You will be happy, your partner will be happy, your mother will be happy spoiling your toddler who have a great time.

Tell your "sister in law" to mind her own business and keep a civil tongue in her head.

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