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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 16:44

I never said she would be in it all day!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 16:47

Shes two has only been walking for the past few months so yeah when we are out she will be in her pram while her father is on rides with my older two as its the safest option and best for her

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 16:49

Ok a lot of the day then!! But really no need with so many others about... you get the drift!

It's clear that you want more relaxation time, less stress and you'll get it!

becotide · 31/01/2018 16:53

Jobjobjob how many children do you have?

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 16:55

But by August she'll be a lot better on her feet!

End of August is almost seven months away for goodness sake!

Ad I've said you're going, you don't need to justify it to me but please not sturdy on feet in seven months time is a rubbish excuse!

becotide · 31/01/2018 16:55

Ember12, Jobjobjob is a vocal minority, don't let her vehemence distract you from the fact that there's nothing wrong with a week a grandma's house.

I was left with My grandma several times a year as a child under 4. Apparently. I don't remember it.

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 16:56

The others would be enjoying the theme park with there father or myself while one is with my youngest or should we all only ever soley focus on my youngest needs?

OP posts:
taskmaster · 31/01/2018 16:56

It's clear that you want more relaxation time, less stress and you'll get it!

And there is nothing at all wrong with that.

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 16:58

Me, I have two! I think I may have said in a previous post I had two close together to avoid this type of situation.

However, had we changed our mind and decided on more I would never have left one behind.

Part of the reason we didn't have a third was because we would not have ever wanted to feel they were a burden being younger and hard work.

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 16:58

No i dont want a more relaxing time or i wouldnt of suggested going with all three in the first place! although minus my youngest it would be and we could do more activities with the eldest twp

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 16:59

The others would be enjoying the theme park with there father or myself while one is with my youngest or should we all only ever soley focus on my youngest needs?

No spread the time?

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 17:02

Is one being with the eldest and the other with the youngest not spreading our time?

OP posts:
becotide · 31/01/2018 17:06

That's lovely for you, Jobjobjob. Ember12 is in a different position. She doesn't want to ruin a holiday with a toddler who will, by it's very nature, take up 90% of the parental attention available and curtail the activities of the older children. Maybe she feels that the older children have tolerated enough and deserve a rest!

It's great for you, Jobjobjob, that you feel able to meet everyones needs all the time. However, as the older child in this situation,., I can assure you that it is NEVER the toddler who gets left out. It's the well behaved, not-screaming-for-pick-me-up older children.

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 17:06

You do want more relaxation time read your OP!!!!

Would be able to relax alot more around the pool a
my older two are very confident in water

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 17:09

Becotide, I chose my lifestyle based on what I wanted to give to my children!

Maybe I would've loved more, but gave the ultimate sacrifice of not doing so as I wanted my children to always feel included.

Eldest wasn't left out, youngest wasn't left out!

That was indeed my decision.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 31/01/2018 17:09

Ember
As i said in a previous post which you probably ignored, why would you not make it a holiday where everyone has time to do stuff they enjoy?

And seriously, who in their right mind spends 7 days solid at a them park, and if that wasnt the plan (i expect it isnt) then there are other things to do where everyone can enjoy.

Eg
Day 1
Half day by the pool (pick somehwere with kids clubs / activities)

My kids similar ages when we went to salou. Dorada Palace and villa romana good for that. Eldest had a ball with activities. Twins pottered by pool.

Half day at the beach

Day 2
Day at theme park. Take turns with minding DD

Day 3
Beach / other activities / boat trip/ beach games /
Walks

Cannot even remember what else there is but we were never stuck.

You made your mind up to leave her behind before coming on this thread. You will find vinducation for some.

Many, like me, cannot see it as a decent way to treat a child.

Salou is a family centred place. You will see kids of all ages and will wonder why you left her at home. Lets hope its not pissing down at home and that she doesnt wonder where the hell her family has disappeared to.

Slarti · 31/01/2018 17:10

Sorry but I think YABU. We have 4 DC with 5 years between them and it never would have occurred to us to leave the youngest behind. I would be quite shocked if someone told me they were doing this IRL.

Believeitornot · 31/01/2018 17:13

Yabu

You have three children so take three children on holiday! I bet the older DCs would question it too. If we took our eldest Dc and not the youngest, my eldest wouldn’t be impressed despite not always getting on Grin

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 17:15

This wasnt the plan of the holiday until my mothers offer i dont really know how many i have to say this.. but with my mother offer we could spend a day at each park or other activities thats doesnt suit a younger child yes and relax more where as if she didnt we would of found a balance between the two

I had made up my mind until my sil comments so i asked then followed the advice of asking my parents to come along which they didnt want to so after speaking to my mother yet again we booked the holiday

OP posts:
kyrenialady · 31/01/2018 17:17

Salou is a family centred place. You will see kids of all ages and will wonder why you left her at home

Agree with this, Portaventura and Salou is so family friendly.

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 17:17

My eldest are fine with it and are looking forward to doing things they normally would be restricted with

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 31/01/2018 17:17

So it’s too late... well thats a shame you see your toddler as an inconvenience.

Jobjobjob · 31/01/2018 17:18

But you're doing it now for more relaxation??

No matter what went before you've had a better offer, your leaving the child and getting more relaxation!

And for what it's worth PP saying I'm in the minority is clearly untrue!

Cuppaoftea · 31/01/2018 17:20

She'll be an older 2 by the time of the holiday then if she's already 2 and it's another 7 months away. From earlier comments I presumed she was younger and would have her 2nd birthday by the time of the holiday.

That makes leaving her behind worse really, a close to 3 year old getting ready to start school nursery is certainly not a baby and will absolutely feel the unfairness of being left behind with Gran to do everyday things while you jet off as a family of four to enjoy sun, sand and pool.

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 17:20

No i am doing it to spend some time with my eldest doing things they want

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