Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 30/01/2018 23:38

Namesarehard
I used my own child as an example to show they do know when someone has gone. There's no way a 2 year old won't get upset when their parents and siblings piss off for a week. It's cruel.

Mine didn't notice/care

I don't consider it cruel.

Horses for courses and all kids are different.

Weebo · 30/01/2018 23:39

Because I disagree with the bullshit narrative made up on this thread by people who are projecting their own unhappy childhoods or parents wanting to give themselves a great big sentimental pat on the back, Thierry?

No - Methinks that is a lazy argument.

Due to their SN's I wouldn't ever be able to leave my sons but I'm not going to use my individual situation as a stick to beat the OP with when she is doing nothing wrong.

But there is nothing more thrilling for some people than making other mothers feel guilty for no good reason. Carry on.

Rachie1973 · 30/01/2018 23:40

This is all about convenience - leaving a toddler behind for a week so that mum and dad can have a break with older DC requiring minimal supervision

Not seeing a problem with that.

Eatalot · 30/01/2018 23:44

Your baby is old enough to miss you like crazy and a week will seem ages. She wont u understand concept of holiday but equally wont understand why she cant see mummy. She wont know when and if she will see you again. Save your money for a better holiday with child clubs for breaks when she is older.

Festivecheer26 · 30/01/2018 23:46

Where is the holiday? All the chat of theme parks and water parks makes me think Florida - if it is I'd worry about being so far away if anything were to happen.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 30/01/2018 23:52

Weebo

So, which camp am i in then because i dont crave, want or need a (sentimental??) pat on the back and my childhood was pleasant?

I think it is disingenuous to present a "it is all about the older children / DD will love being with GP" argument when really it is all about an easy hassle free holiday involving minimal / much less supervision / hassle with older kids. Too much hard work to take toddler who sees GP regularly and is hardly having a week holiday.

Will the DD b emotionally scarred?
Possibly / probably not.

Does that make it decent?
No.

DD is not even getting a look in here.

Wind your neck in.

Oh, and just in case you missed this part, OP asked for opinions. She sure got them and being a grown up she can take on board / disregard as she chooses.

I am away to submit my entry for Mother of the year competition 😂

Weebo · 30/01/2018 23:56

Ahem, Thierry?

There are handprints in your back there.

Ember12 · 30/01/2018 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 31/01/2018 00:01

We went to Salou when my twins were 2.5 and older DS 9. Did portaventura all five of us. Then DH did another day with older DS just the two.

All three of my DC loved it. Great memories with all three children.

It was a fab holiday.

Then at 3.5 / 10 we went to Ibiza and it was similarly wonderful.

Pinkunicorn5 · 31/01/2018 00:02

It doesn't matter what your SIL thinks.
Only you can decide what you think is for the best.
However If you are in 2 minds then you could always take your 2 y/o away separately or give them some age specific days out.
I have an age difference between my children and it is tough, our first family holiday I spent watching my eldest 2 and their dad having fun whilst I watched from the side.
Everyone has their own opinions on these things and it really doesn't matter...
We're all learning when it comes to being a parent and what may work for one family may not work for another.
Once your older children grow up (and possibly don't want to go on family holidays) you're not going to stop taking your youngest away because you feel that the older siblings are missing out.
Don't feel bad whatever you decide to do Smile
X

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 31/01/2018 00:02

Weebo
Wow, handprints in my back. Now there's something😂

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 00:08

Pinkunicorn we also have family holiday in may with my parents, siblings and there children and a trip to peppapig world for the youngest which my 10yr old has decided not to come..

I think most people are missing the actual reason behind my post its not about not wanting 2 yr old to come with us its regarding my mothers offer to watch her

OP posts:
Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 31/01/2018 00:18

Surely more than enough fodder for Daily Mail by now.

Original poster
Ember12 · 31/01/2018 00:20

Daily mail?

OP posts:
Busymumof6 · 31/01/2018 00:21

Ember you've made your decision and it suits your family which is all that matters. What other parents would choose to do with their children may not be what you choose but that doesn't make anyone right or wrong. All parents and children are different afterall and everyone will have their own opinions but your daughter is going to Grandmas for a week she will be loved and cared for while you enjoy quality time with your eldest children. Sounds like you have nice things planned with DD too. I think your SIL should mind her own business!!

MotherofaSurvivor · 31/01/2018 01:37

YABVVVVU - Leaving the awkward/inconvenient child at home so you can go on water rides? What?

Skowvegas · 31/01/2018 01:58

Just asked 14yo DD if she has forgiven me for leaving her with granny for a week when she was 2, while we took the baby to a wedding and stayed away for a week and had a wonderful holiday in upstate New York.

She looked baffled then asked what the fuck I was on about.

Poor damaged baby.

JugglingMuggle · 31/01/2018 07:45

I don’t think it matters at all what your SIL thinks. And if you’re asking should you do it? Well that’s your personal choice. Only you know if it’s approriate for your family. If you’re asking would I do it? It’s kind of irrelevant to you but no I wouldn’t. We went away on our first fancy water-park-y abroad holiday when youngest was just two and we had an older child. I didn’t see our 2 year old as a baby at all - she had an amazing time and loved the water parks and didn’t hold any of us back. She loves looking at the photos now and we’ve been back since and we talk with her about all the diffeeent rides she can go on now. At the time the older one still went on all the rides. As did we. We just took turns. The 2 year old was very active and it wasn’t at all like taking a baby away on holiday so I’m not sure all this talk of babies isn’t misleading. But it is irrelevant to you what I would do or did do. Have a great holiday!

Lizzie48 · 31/01/2018 08:15

Your SIL had no business saying that to you, it's your choice. But if you're asking for agreement that leaving your 2 year old behind is a good idea, then sorry, I don't think it is personally. We took Granny and Grandma with us when we went on holiday to the seaside with our 2 DDs at 4 and 1, and that gave us a lot of flexibility.

ArcheryAnnie · 31/01/2018 08:27

All this great time with granny rubbish.

ThierryHenry am i right in thinking that you don't have the kind of family where your mum would want to have your child over for a week's spoiling? I didn't either - my mum is dead, but when she was alive, although she loved my DS, she really had neither the capacity nor the inclination to have small-DS for a week. I think the OP's kids are very lucky that their grandma does have both the capacity and the inclination, and I think that should be celebrated. I don't think it's "rubbish" at all, and it's a bit sad that you can't even imagine it.

incywincybitofa · 31/01/2018 08:56

I think OP you asked because you had some doubt about accepting the offer.
I am not sure if the replies have cleared up the doubt, but I do think having started this thread your holiday is now almost doomed, if you leave the 2 year old behind, I suspect there will now be niggles and post flash backs and maybe some guilt. If you don't then there will likely be resentment and feeling fed up when your 2 year old has their 2 year old moments.
Your mum probably offered because she thought your 2 year old would have a better time somewhere where her age and buggy wont be a bother. That doesn't mean you have to take her up on the offer, but I suspect she made the offer because of the dynamic she sees.
If that is how the 2 year old is going to be seen on holiday then I would say leave her. She will miss you, but she wont be picking up on being in the way.
My 2 fight like cat and dog, but if we try to do 1:1 theme park stuff with one and not the other they spend the whole day missing their sibling. So I would be sure the older 2 don't mind

QueenDramaLlama · 31/01/2018 09:45

A day in Peppa Pig world does not make up for missing a family holiday and being left without parents for a week.
2 isn't a baby, she will know full well she's been left out.

kyrenialady · 31/01/2018 09:57

Hope you have a lovely holiday, we have been taking our two children to Salou since my youngest was 18 months, your two year old would have loved Sesamo land at Portaventura.

However, I don't remember anything from aged 2 so don't dwell on it and just go and have a nice time.

LagunaBubbles · 31/01/2018 10:01

Leaving the awkward/inconvenient child at home so you can go on water rides? What?

Oh how original using the "inconvenient child" line. Complete rubbish.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 31/01/2018 10:35

Annie
I am afraid that could not be further from the truth.

My kids have a great relationship with my mum and she looks after them / stays with us often. She has also vome on holiday in recent years twice with us as a family.

I know im lucky.

I think she would be horrified though if i wanted to leave my 2 year old behind whilst the rest of our family went abroad for a week.

Can people stop referring to a 2 year old as a baby. She will notice you are gone. Why she can't be included if money is not an issue is beyond me.