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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give neighbor internet password?

712 replies

NegansDollFace · 29/01/2018 21:21

I’ve lived at my current address for 3 years, 4 in November 2018. The house next door is split into two flats, one upstairs and one down. So I’ve never been particularly close to my next door neighbors. We exchange (limited) pleasantries if we see each other and they’ve taken in a parcel for me once and I for them a few times. They work night times and there’s a bit of a language barrier so we legitimately don’t have any relationship beyond polite.

Tonight when I was at our local supermarket when I saw neighbor from the upstairs flat, I smiled an acknowledged him but moved to go to the self checkout. He followed and began a conversation asking how I was, fine, fine but when I ask him how he is he tells me not so good. He goes onto explain that downstairs neighbors have moved out and took their internet with them. I can already see where this is going so he asked if he could have my WiFi password and that he was willing to pay for it. I was put on the spot so I told him I’d speak to him when I’m home.

I’m home now and really am hoping the fact that I haven’t gotten back to him will speak for itself. What would you all say/do? I have incredibly bad social anxiety and I’m very awkward in these situations. Am I BU to just tell him no? And feel like he’s being cheeky? Surely if he shared internet with the flat below they’d have told him they were moving so he’d have time to get a different provider? Also if he’s willing to pay to use mine wouldn’t it just be easier to get his own installed?

OP posts:
AgathaF · 30/01/2018 15:27

You did well in what most people would certainly find to be a stressful situation.
I would reiterate though, please tell your landlord/agent and the police or local PCSO if the intimidation continues. Situations like this can get out of hand very quickly.

waterlily200 · 30/01/2018 15:28

What a awful person rude person!

OP I know it will have been difficult for you but you did the right thing, I'm sure there will be a bit more banging and rudeness but I hope it passes soon and you can move on.

gingergenius · 30/01/2018 15:30

Bloody hell! What part of No! Did she not understand the first time????

Nocabbageinmyeye · 30/01/2018 15:31

Well done op, I hope they leave you in peace now

BabooshkaBabooshka · 30/01/2018 15:31

Btw OP, I think most people would feel extremely anxious and paranoid in such a situation. It is not normal for complete strangers to ask for something totally unreasonable and then get aggressive when you don't acquiesce. Don't doubt yourself. These people are completely without shame and do not adhere to social norms. I would also be totally freaking out and shaking to be confronted in the way you were. You are acting completely normally and as rationally as you can in such a bizarre situation.

drinkswineoutofamug · 30/01/2018 15:31

Well done OP!

Clandestino · 30/01/2018 15:34

OP, I would strongly suggest that should they continue to harass you today or tonight to give a little visit to your local police station and lodge a complaint, including the fact that it's in response to not giving them your WIFI password. Then mention it to your NDN.

Hissy · 30/01/2018 15:37

WOW love you did amazingly well!!

You rock!!

It would take a lot out of a lot of us, let alone if you have MH/anxiety issues. You were amazing today, really strong and firm. Well done!!

MadMags · 30/01/2018 15:38

Well done!

I suspect the banging will continue - be prepared!

AlpacaLypse · 30/01/2018 15:41

Well done this morning! I know just how sick standing up for yourself against unreasonable people can make you feel.

swampytiggaa · 30/01/2018 15:41

Oh well done x you did really well to get your point across x hope you have a peaceful night x

Fletchasaurus · 30/01/2018 15:42

Well done OP - we are all so proud of you for standing up for yourself - cfs that they are! Hopefully they will leave you alone now!

OnTheRise · 30/01/2018 15:43

OP, you handled that brilliantly! Well done!

If they do try again, just keep repeating, "I said no. This is not up for discussion." That's all you need to say. I hope it doesn't come to that, though.

PoisonousSmurf · 30/01/2018 15:43

He's a seriously cheeky CF! He only wants your Wifi because he's up to something dodgy! He can get himself a dongle if he wants to use the internet.

rumbelina · 30/01/2018 15:44

Good work, OP. They are ridiculously entitled. Even if you were good friends they shouldn't be asking. And accusing you of thinking ill of them is just a tactic. They are probably not going to do anything illegal but that's neither here nor there because no one has to share their wifi with strangers.

Do keep a diary though - dates, times, conversations/events. Even if nothing happened again for 3 months, keep a little notebook with everything in.

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 30/01/2018 15:45

Stay strong OP. Flowers You're handling it perfectly. If the harassment continues then I would contact the police.

I can't believe that they expect you to do them a favour after treating you so badly! They are nasty bullies.

MichaelBendfaster · 30/01/2018 15:47

Well done for getting out your explanation to them, OP.

I think this should be the end of it, but just looking forward, does anyone know/is it worth finding out if following you e.g. to your car could be reported as harassment?

Snipples · 30/01/2018 15:49

Well don OP - that took some guts. What an absolute dick your neighbor is, such a CF. Stick to your guns, you're doing great.

ShellyBoobs · 30/01/2018 15:54

Change the SSID of your router to “Fuck Off You Cheeky Fuckers”

They’ll get the message.

PoisonousSmurf · 30/01/2018 15:54

If they escalate anything, call 101 and get advise. The way they are trying to bully you, even thought they can 'pay', means that they are very dodgy! Well done on laying down the law this morning Flowers

PoisonousSmurf · 30/01/2018 15:55

Shellyboobs. That's brilliant!

SandAndSea · 30/01/2018 15:57

I just don't get people like this. How entitled must she be that she thinks she can harass you and your child by banging on the wall at night and then STILL expect you to give her internet access?

I agree with PPs that many of us would find this situation difficult to deal with. She's definitely not operating within normal social boundaries.

And btw, you are NOT being ridiculous!

Sierra259 · 30/01/2018 16:04

Well done OP! That sounds like a very stressful situation and you handled it brilliantly.

It sounds really dodgy that they're so desperate for Wifi that they'll basically ambush you at 8am, but won't sort their own connection out when they say they can afford to pay you. Agree with pp's to keep a record of the interactions with them so far and any future ones. If they try to ask you again just say "we've had this conversation already, there's nothing else to say" and leave (and probably inform landlord and local PCSO). Any further contact from them regarding this could probably be seen as harassment. Don't answer the door to them if they knock.

milliemolliemou · 30/01/2018 16:04

OP Massive congratulations for dealing with it so well. I would still preempt them by reporting this to your letting agent and landlord now and uploading the banging you've recorded. Then it is on record .. and you can copy to the police if needed.

BrendasUmbrella · 30/01/2018 16:05

Well done on shutting her down OP. The gall of them to think they could keep you up all night then pop up at your door the next day and get what they wanted!! They are either so dim they don't realize they can get their own internet or they are up to something dodgy and don't want it traced back to them. if they give you anymore grief complain to the landlord, and note down times and dates.