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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give neighbor internet password?

712 replies

NegansDollFace · 29/01/2018 21:21

I’ve lived at my current address for 3 years, 4 in November 2018. The house next door is split into two flats, one upstairs and one down. So I’ve never been particularly close to my next door neighbors. We exchange (limited) pleasantries if we see each other and they’ve taken in a parcel for me once and I for them a few times. They work night times and there’s a bit of a language barrier so we legitimately don’t have any relationship beyond polite.

Tonight when I was at our local supermarket when I saw neighbor from the upstairs flat, I smiled an acknowledged him but moved to go to the self checkout. He followed and began a conversation asking how I was, fine, fine but when I ask him how he is he tells me not so good. He goes onto explain that downstairs neighbors have moved out and took their internet with them. I can already see where this is going so he asked if he could have my WiFi password and that he was willing to pay for it. I was put on the spot so I told him I’d speak to him when I’m home.

I’m home now and really am hoping the fact that I haven’t gotten back to him will speak for itself. What would you all say/do? I have incredibly bad social anxiety and I’m very awkward in these situations. Am I BU to just tell him no? And feel like he’s being cheeky? Surely if he shared internet with the flat below they’d have told him they were moving so he’d have time to get a different provider? Also if he’s willing to pay to use mine wouldn’t it just be easier to get his own installed?

OP posts:
BlackPeppercorn · 30/01/2018 15:01

Well done you!
Some people just don't get that some of us actually like to keep things simple and straightforward, live on the straight and narrow and honestly, and not complicate life. Notwithstanding your anxiety which affects things too.
I hope you hear no more from them.

DragonBone · 30/01/2018 15:01

Nah I wouldn't give anyone wifi password - he be asking for your Netflix pass next ! Cheeky fooker

TheMaddHugger · 30/01/2018 15:02

You did really well OP. ((((Hugs))))

BabooshkaBabooshka · 30/01/2018 15:03

Brilliant op. Sounds like you made all the necessary points, ie.

  • No they cannot use your WiFi due to security risk and
  • If they are willing to pay you, why can't they set up and pay for their own WiFi.

Don't want to sound patronising but sounds like you did brilliantly. Also sounds like she is picking up on your anxiety and vulnerability and trying to bully you into submitting. What a nasty and opportunistic piece of work she and the partner are. Stay strong, we are all routing for you!

TheMerryWidow1 · 30/01/2018 15:04

you did very well OP!!! They will try again but keep strong.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 30/01/2018 15:04

Well done op!

That must have been tough. But you did it!

Take care of yourself. You must be shattered. Hoping for a relaxing evening tonight Flowers

Taffeta · 30/01/2018 15:07

Jeez OP well bloody done

I’m not one to shy away from confrontation but even I would find this situation threatening and awkward

Bloody well done!!!

Stuffofawesome · 30/01/2018 15:07

Well done. They can use the internet for free at a library if they're that desperate

Idontdowindows · 30/01/2018 15:07

Well done OP! Really blooming well done. :)

Jammycustard · 30/01/2018 15:08

You’re not being dramatic; that woman is harassing you and attempting to intimidate you.

SandyDenny · 30/01/2018 15:09

Well done, I hope that's the end of it and they don't press the point.

Someone above said you can hide your wifi connection, have you looekd into doing that? They might move onto another neighbour if they can't see yours

mikeyssister · 30/01/2018 15:09

Of course they were banging last night OP, you took away their only other form of entertainmentWink

Well done on standing your ground.

HolyMountain · 30/01/2018 15:11

Well done!

zzzzz · 30/01/2018 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoMoreUsernames · 30/01/2018 15:15

Well handled OP. I would make a written record of everything that's happened/been said in the last 24 hours. Banging on your wall, the veiled threats, following you to your car is tantamount to harassment and I'd fully expect more of the same tonight. Well done for recording too, you might need it.

Queeniebed · 30/01/2018 15:16

My main concern would be if he is happy to pay for it, why wont he pay for it at his address. If he were asking for a short while ie a week whilst his is being installed, you have the option of offering it to him then changing your password after say a week or not letting him have it at all.

I would wonder what he was downloading/looking at if he wanted to pay to access through anothers server. Sounds dodgy. Tell him that if he wants to pay for it, there are some good deals online

Nikephorus · 30/01/2018 15:16

She followed, still saying that I was being ridiculous accusing them and that they were offering to pay. I told her if that was the case then she lost definitely could pay a provider for the actual service.
Grin Well done OP!

CaMePlaitPas · 30/01/2018 15:16

Tell him you've got dial-up.

lapetitesiren · 30/01/2018 15:17

I haven't read the full thread. If you wanted to be friendly you could let him know he can get internet access in the local library.

Queeniebed · 30/01/2018 15:18

Just read your update - if they do that again contact the police over harassment

Aki23 · 30/01/2018 15:21

We once gave our internet code out to a friends son who had come over for Christmas - 8 months on our internet was massively slow all day. Turned out DFS was standing outside downloading crap onto his phone all day. DFS stepdad contacted us. Code was changed immediately and when he asked this Christmas for it he was told no (DF knew why and was fine). Went home after his internet ran out :)

WhatchaMaCalllit · 30/01/2018 15:24

Coming back to say well done OP! You handled that brilliantly. I'd imagine even the calmest amongst us would have been silently bricking it when dealing with such an insistent neighbour. Well done to you!

Iluvthe80s · 30/01/2018 15:25

Well done OP! Just stand firm if they ask again and say "I'm not sharing the password. there is nothing more to discuss"

AHungryMum · 30/01/2018 15:26

Well done!! Hopefully this will give you more confidence for the future as you've just proved to yourself that you can stand your ground even when it makes you feel uncomfortable doing so.

I'd love to know though, when you told the cheeky mare that if they were happy to pay you for using your service and you pointed out that, in that case, they can just pay for their own directly, did she actually provide any explanation as to why they don't want to do so? I don't actually know what their rationale is!

Put it this way - as someone who has spent their career working in the criminal justice system, the fact that their response to you saying no has been confrontational and accusatory rather than being conciliatory and providing a sensible explanation as to why they are temporarily without their own internet is ringing massive alarm bells with me. If they'd come to you and said weve made arrangements to get our own installed but it's going to take two weeks or something along those lines it would be easier to understand (albeit I still wouldn't have done it in their shoes, because it's still pretty cheeky, and even if I had I'd have backed off at the first no!), but I can't think of a single legitimate reason for them wanting open ended access to your service if they are able to pay for said service anyway!

Iluvthe80s · 30/01/2018 15:26

and I agree with Queeniebed if they ask again, especially if they get aggressive then contact the police and ask for their support