Period shits and javelin arse.

[AnachronisticCorpse]

My body is fucking with me. I haven’t bothered with periods for years and years (mirena) but for some reason Mother Nature has seen fit to curse me this weekend.

But this is just ridiculous. It’s like all the horrible weirdness at once. It’s not even that heavy flow now but I am in AGONY. And I’d forgotten about the horror that is the period shit, that was a fun half hour. And javelin arse, which weirdly I was only talking about the other day as one of those odd body quirks.

I’m in bed, curled up, with the dog as a hot water bottle. Ibuprofen hasn’t even slightly helped.

What I don’t get is that this is a monthly reality for some. Like, how do you function when your body is doing this to you regularly?

I’m just crossing my fingers that this isn’t some perimenopausal weirdness meaning I’ll be having proper periods from here on. Because I don’t think I can hack it.

(Totally posting as a distraction btw, I know I’m not BU)

Javelin arse, amazing. My mum and I refer to it as ‘hot poker up the bum hole’

Am I the only freak that also gets javelin fanny? I am shedding my monthly 4lb water retention this week and I cant stop peeing.

I do occasionally get javelin fanny. On describing it to OH, he says it sounds very similar to the sharp line of pain that men get when they've been kicked in the balls. It seems to sort of shoot cleanly up one nerve until about navel level- is that what you mean?

Arich yes that's what it does to me and I feel like I don't know when it's going to stop or if it will get more painful and then all of a sudden it subsides....then comes back!!! Then subsides again. Damn javelin!

No it's up the arse Bit

Yes, that javelin fanny! I also get javelin arse, they arent the same. Javelin fanny feels sharper.

We have one toilet. God forbid that DH is having one of his hour long poo/Facebook browsing sessions when javelin arse hits. I HAVE to sit on a toilet or I will cry and he takes his merry time and I want.to.kill.him.

Javelin arse! Omg! I get this too, especially when my periods are really heavy and painful which thankfully doesn’t happen all too often now.

In all seriousness, at what point does this pain etc become abnormal?

I am such a sweaty cramped mess that I’ve had to get DH to do the school run and work from home. I genuinely don’t know if it’s this bad because I’m not used to it, or if there’s something going on. I nearly passed out this morning from the pain, my vision went and my hearing was all whooshy.

Go and see the GP

You should see the GP with those symptoms. Today.

Urgh. I’ll give them a call.

Mine only lasts seconds at a time.

Sitting on the loo does not help javelin arse!!! I have to stand on my toes in a leaning back stance!

Yes mine is fleeting. But oh so painful.

I wimped out of going to the quacks, im not bleeding anymore but I am still getting random cramps. I’ll see if it’s still bad tomorrow.

I suffered seriously from this until I went on the fodmap diet. Basically in my hormonal state Is eat food I shouldn't ie cake/biscuits/chocolate and then when I came on if have the discomfort of IBS and the period at the same time. Javelin arse, violent diarrhoea, hot sweats and occasionally passing out. Since being on fodmap it hasn't been so bad although last week was horrendous as I ate cream cakes the day before - lots of them !

Oh and I was told by 2 gps this was normal and to man up. Luckily I went for a 3td opinion and she believed me. We worked together to diagnose pcos, And a form of IBS although had lots of tests for fibroids etc

Now I have a name for the bum pain....... I am eternally grateful. I also get this during ovulation as well as periods.

No advice though sorry I get awful periods.

Thanks for putting a name to it. I've been suffering from Javelin Arse almost every period for the last 25 years, heavy bleeding and cramps on top.
I always thought it was normal as my mum suffered as well.
And don't get me started on the "shits". I have memorised every tube station with a loo between work and home.

Yes! I get this every single month without fail :-(

I have a tilted uterus and adenomyosis which makes it worse.

NO painkillers even touch the pain and last month DP almost called an ambulance as i was screaming with pain its horrible but nothing can be done for me :-(

Why is this ok?

Why are we told to suck it up? Why isn’t this a priority for medical research?

God I’m furious.

I get javelin arse, period shits, horrific bleeding, clots the size of my palm, etc. My last proper period lasted a month and only ended when I started taking norithisterone (sp?).

At the end of the drugs, I was left with a LOVELY new symptom. Pieces of what looked like chicken breasts falling out of my vadge!! The exact same colour and texture of fucking chicken breasts. I promptly freaked the hell and called the GP.

Luckily, she's great. She examined me, couldn't see anything (because there was blood everywhere!) and promptly referred me for a scan. So now I'm waiting for my scan.

Oh and GP had no idea what they chicken pieces were either. If they happen again, I'm going to take a picture for her.

My pill promised me a life without periods if I continued to take it without a break.

The fucker lied. And now I am shitting, and pissing blood from my vag and writhing about with Javelin Arse every couple of hours or so.

I feel you, OP.

On a lighter note I'm peri and have stopped bleeding.
Arse pain is as bad if not worse.
The shits are the same.

It doesn't help that every time it happens I think...
Bishop of Bath and Wells