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Original poster

Period shits and javelin arse.

105 replies

AnachronisticCorpse · 29/01/2018 17:15

My body is fucking with me. I haven’t bothered with periods for years and years (mirena) but for some reason Mother Nature has seen fit to curse me this weekend.

But this is just ridiculous. It’s like all the horrible weirdness at once. It’s not even that heavy flow now but I am in AGONY. And I’d forgotten about the horror that is the period shit, that was a fun half hour. And javelin arse, which weirdly I was only talking about the other day as one of those odd body quirks.

I’m in bed, curled up, with the dog as a hot water bottle. Ibuprofen hasn’t even slightly helped.

What I don’t get is that this is a monthly reality for some. Like, how do you function when your body is doing this to you regularly?

I’m just crossing my fingers that this isn’t some perimenopausal weirdness meaning I’ll be having proper periods from here on. Because I don’t think I can hack it.

(Totally posting as a distraction btw, I know I’m not BU)

OP posts:
allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 29/01/2018 18:01

Javelin arse? Yikes, never had it, but lots of sympathy for those that do Flowers

gluteustothemaximus · 29/01/2018 18:03

Another endo sufferer here.

I know javelin arse well Grin

Sometimes you have to let out an audible yelp. Never been able to stop the pain though.

It is the thing I hate most about being a woman, and I doubt I’ll ever stop moaning about. I fucking hate periods. Do we really have to have them every 3 weeks?!? A whole week out of every 4.

It’s shit.

KinkyAfro · 29/01/2018 18:05

Yup I've posted about javelin arse on here before, I get it when I'm on my period only but not every time. It takes your breath away sometimes

poisoningpidgeysinthepark · 29/01/2018 18:06

Terrible stuff. I've realised that no one cares though. I am in a very 'exposed' job where I have to do public speaking while suffering javelin arse, and even when I grip the desk as if my life depended on it and let out a sneaky yelp halfway through a sentence because it's so bad, no one notices. It makes me wonder whether anyone ever listens to me, actually.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 29/01/2018 18:12

I feel your pain, OP.

Sometimes you have to let out an audible yelp. Never been able to stop the pain though.

Yes! And stop whatever you're doing just to hold on to whatever surface is in front of you until it passes. It's awful.

I called the doctor for a same day appointment during my last period because it was so awful and got an "Is that all?" from the receptionist asking why I needed it so urgently Angry I got put back on the POP and am in the middle of my first period since - far far lighter and only one day of JA so far.

Endo ablation sounds scary... I haven't been tested for endometriosis yet but does it help long term?

TrinitySquirrel · 29/01/2018 18:14

OP both are related to progesterone peaks and things and can be a sign of PCO and Endo. I get sword arse (as I call it) when I ovulate and the first 24hrs of my period.

Allaboutthatcake · 29/01/2018 18:16

No PCOS or endometriosis (I know this for sure as I’ve had extensive surgery) but I get this and it sucks☹️

BlurryFace · 29/01/2018 18:16

I only occasionally get javelin arse, frequently get stabbing pins and needles in my thighs though. Sometimes it feels like my legs will give out! Hate how crotchety I het in the first couple days of my period, but I just get so irritable when I'm in pain and listening to "mummy I want chocolate" on repeat.

monkeywithacowface · 29/01/2018 18:17

I had no idea it was linked to endo. I have really heavy periods and javelin arse (although we call them butt twinges) hmm may go back to doctors

gluteustothemaximus · 29/01/2018 18:19

Yes to grabbing whatever is in front of you and clinging on for dear life. In a way, it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

There's ladies up and down the country randomly grabbing pieces of furniture stiffling yelps and clenching their buttcheeks Grin

Ickyockycocky · 29/01/2018 18:22

This happened to me with the Mirena Coil. It had done something weird and curled around onto me, or something. Anyway, I had to have it taken out and that's what the nurse said.

VivaLeBeaver · 29/01/2018 18:23

Proctalgia fugax I think I saw the cause. I get it and call it javelin arse. Also have endo. Have screamed out loud in a shop before. Farting relieves it but you need to grit your teeth and push past the pain.

crackerjacket · 29/01/2018 18:24

Of course there's a name for it

Bloody arse.

whiskyowl · 29/01/2018 18:30
Grin

I have really terrible periods, and I only get through them by thinking longingly about the menopause.

FancyNewBeesly · 29/01/2018 18:33

I find it massively depressing how many women most likely have endometriosis and never get a diagnosis or proper help - just fobbed off with the pill or mirena. If it weren't for the fact I was passing out and being admitted to hospital twice a months for years on end I doubt I'd have been diagnosed either.

BustersBloodVessel · 29/01/2018 18:52

I'm getting endo ablation in two weeks time and I can't wait. After years of crappy heavy periods, hopefully after it, they will be non existent or super light. (fingers crossed).Smile

Spangles1963 · 29/01/2018 18:54

'Javelin arse' is a recognised medical condition. It's called proctologia fujax. It literally means cramp in the rectum/anus.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 29/01/2018 18:57

DD is 17 and definitely has the symptoms of endo. At her request, I am with her at her doctor appointments and backing her up. She's trying the pill first, and considering mirena if that doesn't work, but I will not allow her to be fobbed off if either prove ineffective.

HateTheDF · 29/01/2018 19:11

I've had javelin arse before and I mentioned it once to my doctor and she gave me an odd look and said that she didn't know what that could be. I was so embarrassed I never mentioned it again. I'm so pleased someone else knows what I'm talking about.

FancyNewBeesly · 29/01/2018 19:12

Good for you - mine started very young (at 13 I was having 20 day periods that were agony), wasn't diagnosed until 22.

BringMeTea · 29/01/2018 19:13

I saw about 8 different gynaes up to age 34 in the UK when I moved overseas. None ever suggested a lap to even investigate endo. I was only diagnosed when a gynae overseas operated to remove an ovarian cyst which turned out to be endometrial. She removed as much as she could while I was under. Sucks. My advice to those with symptoms would be to push for a lap.

TheUpsideOfIt · 29/01/2018 19:15

Whiskey is good for period pain 😁🤣

thenewaveragebear1983 · 29/01/2018 19:20

I have diagnosed pcos and can sympathise. I, strangely, get no premenstrual symptoms at all, and then suddenly I will flood through clothes without warning. This means I have to wear pads for 50% of the Month. I then have 2 days when I can’t leave the house, followed by 2 clear days, then another period exactly the same as the first. As I don’t want to take the pill, or have a mirena, or any more babies, there isn’t really any option for me. I’m a bit tired of having people poke around at me after 2 pregnancies, so I just get on with it. Oh, and because I have pcos I am also astonishingly hairy.

throwcushions · 29/01/2018 19:22

Gluteus I am absolutely pissing myself. Great post. I never knew javelin arse was a thing. I thought I was a freak! Always had awful periods and used to faint on the first day when I was a teenager. Perhaps I should ask the gp about endo.

gluteustothemaximus · 29/01/2018 19:27

Ah, well, they say laughter releases endorphins that helps with pain. Not javelin arse pain mind! Grin

I used to faint as a teenager too!

Might be worth a trip to the GP x