School want a letter of apology

[GlassesOn]

My year six son got picked for his schools football team, the team train one day a week and sometimes have matches on those days too. (We all pay £30 per term).

The football coach is quite young, a bit impatient, never speaks to the parents, even after a match, quite dismissive when the boys try to talk to him and I’ve seen him mostly on his phone during training pausing to look up to comment how rubbish they’re are playing is one example.

There have been a few incidents that I haven’t been completely happy with and I told my son I didn’t want him to go back to the team after Christmas but he said he wanted to stay on the team because he had friends in the team etc

First day of January training my husband turns up to pick our son up at the Astro turf pitch (in the school) but no one was there... my husband was confused and went round the school to find them, as no notice had been given to us that training would be held in another place.

After 5 minutes, he found our son in the after school ‘kids club’ because training had finished early (for no reason we’ve heard yet,) he was placed in there as he wasn’t allowed to hang around on his own to wait for his dad, we were told we were being charged £10 for this.

My husband explained to the kids club manager about the training finishing early and if the training had finished at the advertised time on their website then our son wouldn’t have been put into kids club, she agreed to leave off the charge.

Last week my eldest picked her brother up and was told no training had taken place at all, as during the warm up some of the boys were laughing and joking and as punishment they had all been placed on benches in the playground and sat there for over an hour.

My daughter said my son was freezing cold and I phoned the kids club to clarify what had gone on as I was still at work.

I was advised to email a complaint as she wasn’t in charge of the after school clubs, just the kids club which I did.

I received a phone call the next afternoon while at work and got a barrage of attitude by the after school clubs manager, she told me she had investigated the incident throughly that the coach said the kids were acting like animals and put them on the bench until they were ready, I told her I would accept what you’re saying until I’ve spoken to my son again when I got home and if this was the case why didn’t he make them all run around or do some sort of physical exercise as their ‘punishment’? That’s what his old coach used to do if one of them played up, (run around the pitch 3 times etc as that soon made them calm down.“)

It was near freezing that evening and if I stuck my son in the garden for an hour and a half to sit on a bench as punishment I’m sure social services would be called by the school.

I then asked about the previous incident of the coach just packing up whenever he feel like it and she said reconsidering it now she would be charging us £10 for that, as my son wasn’t signed out until 4.50pm even though it took 5 mins for my husband to find where our son was as no note had been left to say training had finished early or moved to another area, but she didn’t want to discuss that.

The head teacher also pulled all the children into her office and told them that they are lying about the incident and it hadn’t been just giggling and that the coach said that they were really naughty.

They have been instructed to write a apology letter to the coach, they also miss their playtime on Monday and are barred from playing on the Astro turf pitch for the rest of term.

So even though all of them say it was just a bit of giggling they are being punished for weeks on end and that’s (after the original punishment of sitting in the cold) & missing their training. Oh and they’ve also being threatened by the head teacher that their year 6 PGL place may be taken away from them (we’ve paid nearly £400 for the trip).

It’s basically the boys word against the coach and the head teacher has decided that the kids are lying.

Am I being unreasonable to ask for clarity regarding the two incidents? I’ve told my son he isn’t going back to training but this time he is also okay with it.

Or should I just let it drop? WWYD?

I think you've missed your safeguarding training. It's required by law that you have it at least twice a year so should be up to date but clearly you're not.

No it's not.

The law simply says that "All staff members should receive appropriate safeguarding and child protection training which is regularly updated". Designated Safeguarding Leads must refresh their training every two years.

If the HT has made her final decision regarding the trip then I would like to hear what my son did blow by blow. Until I hear that from the horses mouth I can't say how I'll feel about the decision.

If my son was good for every single lesson for over a year but laughed for 1 hour 15 mins last Thursday and she thinks that's good enough reason to bar them all from the trip, then I have to accept her decision. I will fight for my money back though.

I think the punishment of being left in the cold still needs to be addressed, as I think it isn't suitable to do that in winter.

I hope that answers your question.

Hahahaha penggwn you aren't my sons headteacher by any chance are you?

Have a gorgeous day

Fucksake Peng - what the hell do you want?

I read the Secondary Education board as have a dd at secondary and Pengg, Maisy and Noble are names i recognise as being teachers who post regularly on there. They would not be able to fake being teachers as other teachers would have noticed they were BSing ages ago. The only person who is a fake teacher is that wee troll and despite constant name changes, people spot him a mile off as what he says doesn't ring true.

Elise - omg I did. You're right, that's terrible. My husband would be laughing at me for that (might have to nc ).

I would add I thought I'd typed in the right spelling for profession... time for another cup of tea

Oh and just in case, considering some have questioned pen and posting times, I am a teacher but I've been off since Sept. Spending extra time with my youngest due to some sn

tell her something like we have been sat outside on a bench in football kit in cold weather for 90 minutes and the coach (he isn't actually a teacher) says no they haven't

As far as I can see from what's been posted, the school and the coach have not denied that this was the initial punishment - the question of who's lying is about the children's behaviour.

Given that the school seem to be claiming that the punishment was justified (though watch this space because OP has yet to meet with the HT), concerns about whether imposing such a punishment - for any sort of misbehaviour - is appropriate or acceptable seem quite reasonable.

Perhaps I am wrong but I've skimmed through most of this thread this morning, and I think what Pengggwn is asking for is not what the OP (and others) consider what is not sufficient for taking away a school trip - in the OP's case most people, even Penggwn I believe, have said that laughing throughout one football coaching session would not be sufficient grounds for taking away the privilege of a residential school trip.
The question has more become at what point does that punishment become acceptable. It's one I find quite difficult to answer myself as a parent.... easy enough to say that's too tough for x/y/z less easy to say well ABC are definately crimes that suit that punishment.... It seems to be that persistent undermining of authority of staff would be the trigger. And again there are those who I am sure would have very different views on what is 'persistent'. As a parent of younger children I find the different views on here very interesting, and hope that my own musings don't offend anyone as I believe everyone's views are valid.

Well it is confusing Pengggwn, the OP has stated what behaviour she would deem bad enough to warrant the trip being cancelled and all the other punishments implemented, that surely answers your question.

You are determined that the coach must be right whatever the OP or other parents and children say. The coach can't possibly be anything other than perfect because he is, possibly, a volunteer and giving up his time and should be treated as some kind of hero for doing so.

You also seem to have an attitude of children must behave like little robots and be everlastingly grateful for this hero giving up his time for them. The benefits are not only to the children, the coach and the school also benefit from the arrangement.

Yes it is a privilege to play for a school team and to go on a residential trip, but the parents are paying for this privilege it's not free and to arbitrarily remove it for what seems like a very minor infraction is extreme.

The behaviour of the coach and the reaction of the school is out of all proportion to the events described.

Pengggwn, just to make it clear, it was NOT Winchester who derailed the thread, it was you. I found it disconcerting how you very easily switched the blame to Winchester at 08.42 and also slapped his/hers feelings away at 07.55, with your suggestions of bodycams or homeschooling. I think this attitude of if you don't like it, lump it is what makes others have concerns about your teaching abilities. If you were so insensitive to an adult's feelings, what are you like with defenceless kids? And you continue to derail the thread by asking OP innocuous questions and making it all about you. In my opinion, I see this thread as OP needing to know the crime and whether the punishment fits it? Also, others opinions on the harsh treatment of having to sit outside in the freezing cold. I've seen you do this before Peng and then you sometimes flounce. Very concerning attitudes for a teacher.

lazyleo in was reading and thinking the same. I think the key to persistent behaviour though is that there is a time period where it can be addressed. If parents are paying a lot of money but aren't being made aware their kids behaviour is becoming such that it's likely the school may ban them from the trip then there's a massive communication issue and the parents will be rightly upset. That said I can't see any time when the initial punishment was appropriate.

What do you mean, 'the rule of law'?
Sorry, I usually deal with politics rather than education. The Rule of Law (usually capitalised) is the concept, commonly held in most western societies, that the rules apply to everyone, and that nobody is above the law, or exempt from the rules. I may have a different focus, but I did have the impression that most people knew what it meant.

And, yes, my school was "unusual": it was one of the original Free Schools - before the name was used for corporate academies. It was inspired by, and similar to, Summerhill.
You might think of it something like a commune, but with recognition of the responsibilities of the staff. Most rules were decided in community meetings; the necessary staff & prefects' rules were recognised as being necessary, and whilst the community meeting could not change them, they could ask the appropriate body to consider a change if they were felt to be unfair. If they decided that the rule should stay as it was, they would explain why, and that would be it. I don't actually ever recall a community meeting doing so for any staff rules, however, The citizen's (junior prefects) meeting once asked the Head to make a small change of protocol with regard to the court, which he was happy to do, but that was about it as far as staff rules went.

I can read perfectly well thank you Pengggwn, my post is a description of how you have come across on this thread with what you have posted. You have consistently argued in favour of the coach and the school being right and the children and parents being wrong, even to the extent of questioning the temperature on the day in question. You cannot accept that the coach and the school could possibly be in the wrong on this occasion.

The OP has answered your question, you just don't like or want to accept the answer.

If anyone needs to learn to read I think it is you Peng.

There you go again Pengggwn, a quick slapdown. Very, very concerned about your ability to be in charge of children. I also remember a thread where a teacher was openly admitting sharing a sen child's awarded full TA time, with another pupil. Ended with both kids having to be placed in sen units. You supported that teacher too, if I remember rightly.

Pengggwn Re: Derailing. What I have noticed, on several threads now, that what you do is continually challenge opinions that you do not like until thread becomes more about you and what you think than it is about the original OP and the issues you raised.

Perhaps it is more, (as I have seen it called on another thread), me-railing than derailing. Is it a challenge you have set yourself or don't you realise it is happening?