School want a letter of apology

[GlassesOn]

My year six son got picked for his schools football team, the team train one day a week and sometimes have matches on those days too. (We all pay £30 per term).

The football coach is quite young, a bit impatient, never speaks to the parents, even after a match, quite dismissive when the boys try to talk to him and I’ve seen him mostly on his phone during training pausing to look up to comment how rubbish they’re are playing is one example.

There have been a few incidents that I haven’t been completely happy with and I told my son I didn’t want him to go back to the team after Christmas but he said he wanted to stay on the team because he had friends in the team etc

First day of January training my husband turns up to pick our son up at the Astro turf pitch (in the school) but no one was there... my husband was confused and went round the school to find them, as no notice had been given to us that training would be held in another place.

After 5 minutes, he found our son in the after school ‘kids club’ because training had finished early (for no reason we’ve heard yet,) he was placed in there as he wasn’t allowed to hang around on his own to wait for his dad, we were told we were being charged £10 for this.

My husband explained to the kids club manager about the training finishing early and if the training had finished at the advertised time on their website then our son wouldn’t have been put into kids club, she agreed to leave off the charge.

Last week my eldest picked her brother up and was told no training had taken place at all, as during the warm up some of the boys were laughing and joking and as punishment they had all been placed on benches in the playground and sat there for over an hour.

My daughter said my son was freezing cold and I phoned the kids club to clarify what had gone on as I was still at work.

I was advised to email a complaint as she wasn’t in charge of the after school clubs, just the kids club which I did.

I received a phone call the next afternoon while at work and got a barrage of attitude by the after school clubs manager, she told me she had investigated the incident throughly that the coach said the kids were acting like animals and put them on the bench until they were ready, I told her I would accept what you’re saying until I’ve spoken to my son again when I got home and if this was the case why didn’t he make them all run around or do some sort of physical exercise as their ‘punishment’? That’s what his old coach used to do if one of them played up, (run around the pitch 3 times etc as that soon made them calm down.“)

It was near freezing that evening and if I stuck my son in the garden for an hour and a half to sit on a bench as punishment I’m sure social services would be called by the school.

I then asked about the previous incident of the coach just packing up whenever he feel like it and she said reconsidering it now she would be charging us £10 for that, as my son wasn’t signed out until 4.50pm even though it took 5 mins for my husband to find where our son was as no note had been left to say training had finished early or moved to another area, but she didn’t want to discuss that.

The head teacher also pulled all the children into her office and told them that they are lying about the incident and it hadn’t been just giggling and that the coach said that they were really naughty.

They have been instructed to write a apology letter to the coach, they also miss their playtime on Monday and are barred from playing on the Astro turf pitch for the rest of term.

So even though all of them say it was just a bit of giggling they are being punished for weeks on end and that’s (after the original punishment of sitting in the cold) & missing their training. Oh and they’ve also being threatened by the head teacher that their year 6 PGL place may be taken away from them (we’ve paid nearly £400 for the trip).

It’s basically the boys word against the coach and the head teacher has decided that the kids are lying.

Am I being unreasonable to ask for clarity regarding the two incidents? I’ve told my son he isn’t going back to training but this time he is also okay with it.

Or should I just let it drop? WWYD?

I haven't got an update ,apart from to clarify that there are two separate incidents that I have concerns about.

The 2nd incident of being sat on the benches is where my daughter found her brother last week.

They weren't dumped into kids club that day. That event took place on the 11th of January. I thought we had sorted it out and they had dropped the £10 charge but was reinstated when I complained about last Thursdays incident.

I've now spoken to 4 parents and each one has concerns regarding the way this has been handled and that's why we are flagging it up to the HT, I'm going to hand my letter in by hand tomorrow and wait to be contacted.

I'm going to stay measured, calm and factual (well the facts I have anyway)

I'm interested to have clarity on the issues I've raised and I'm willing to listen to all the points the school will make, in an a mature, adult way.

I'm not going to stage a sit in at the office or involve anyone else such as LADO as I need all the facts, not just my sons and his team mates say so.

We have written an apology letter. It's very, very basic and to the point and he will take that in tomorrow.

The other parents I've spoken to are writing to the HT with their own concerns.

I just feel better after having spoke to them, as I was worried I was hearing a very biased version from my sons POV but hearing it back four times from other parents makes me think there is an element of truth to their version of events....
Or maybe they got together during school on Friday and cooked up a pretty solid lie...(joking)

I'll update when I have more. Thank you for all your constructive advice. You've been more than a great help.

Yes it needs sorting, you mentioned the old coach punished bad behaviour with fitness training. Coaching guidelines for (rugby) say your shouldn't do this as you don't want to associate running and fitness with been naughty, keeping fit should be seen as fun and healthy not putting children off. Exclusion is the route I take and the other coaches I associate with.

OP
This might seem silly but as a teacher can I just thank you for handling this is a way that is wholly reasonable and sensible.

I see threads on here where it's people being fuming and reporting to ofsted over any tiny thing. Threads like this should be pinned as an example of how parents with very real concerns handle things like sensible adult instead of some loudmouth yob with a chip on thwir shoulder.

I hope you get a resolution.

The school sounds irresponsible in how it manages this club, whether it is run by a volunteer, paid coach or staff member other than a teacher. They need to have policies and procedures in place for handling both the behaviour and administration of clubs.

At my school, we have had football clubs run in several different ways. Once it was run by a TA with an FA coaching award. He taught the football skills but I, as a teacher, was present throughout to supervise behaviour and the collection of pupils. This year, we have an outside provider. They provide two coaches who run the club together. A designated teacher is available for support at any time and is also responsible for the handover to parents at the end. At my DC's school, the coach is a volunteer but is assisted by a staff member who dismisses the children at the end.

If the coach is a paid member of staff from an agency, he should be able to handle the behaviour and if not the school should not allow him to run a club. If he is a volunteer (I suspect not from what has been described) the school need to be offering another member of staff to support.

Collection and supervision of children is most definitely the school's responsibility, not the coach or after -school club provider. In fact, I can't see how the after-school club has become involved at all.

I like your letter glasses and I'm glad your ds has written an apology letter too.

Good luck tomorrow.

It’s quite unlikely 4 separate children aged 9-11 could all stand by a lie when in their own to their parents unless they are all heading to be criminal masterminds. Even one or two of the naughty ones break.

Op you're handling it very well so far. The incident when your dd found your ds sitting by himself on the bench is just shocking. You mustn't let this drop. Btw I'm speaking as a TA with several years of experience, not just a parent.

I think OP that in your mind the coach seems lazy and dismissive because:

1. He finished the club early and left leaving the children at the after school club which I guess is privately run
2. Last time he finished even earlier by getting everybody punished for a not obvious reason
3. When he does get on with the lesson he spends condsiderable amounts of time on his phone (and only stops for negative critisism)

Does it seem to be a drudge for him that he wants to escape so the latest incident was a far fetched excuse? IMO this is an excuse to raise the other issues about his behaviour like his indifference and lack of constructive guidance if I have understood well.

I agree 100% with MissEliza regarding flouncing off after he decided to end the session early and safeguarding issues. I am speechless that he could do such a thing without the parents complaining. This does not happen in our school. If somebody shows attitude it should be you and not them. How dare they.

But my other question is why a paid sports coach would lie about kids' behaviour. I'd expect most of them just want to make their money and go home.

Because he's making a hash of the job, and is looking to blame the childrenn to make himself look better.
If you've never seen someone do this, goodness, it's very common.

I don't think that boys' behaviour was SO bad . They didn't hurt anyone and didn't destroy anything, they didn't follow instructions that's all , it's not good, it's unappropriate but to say that they were "behaving like animals"...it's too much. Coach should have a word with parents first and as a very last resort ban boys who misbehave from sessions.
Good luck for tomorrow , OP.

This isn't simply a behaviour management issue though. A sports coach should have had safeguarding training. Regardless of how good they are at managing behaviour at the very least corporal punishment of any kind should not be used under any circumstances.
I wonder if people would still think it was fine if a child disclosed that their parent made them sit out in near freezing temperatures for an hour because they gave them cheek? No-one would be saying poor parents having to put up with that behaviour would they? If it's not ok at home then why on earth would it be ok for a person in a position of trust to use this as punishment for a group of children at a school?
People handwringing about careers being at risk are exactly why people who shouldn't be working with children get away with it.

Minnie that sounds a lot like how I've always known after school classes to run and it put the finger on one of the other things that was bugging me about this whole scenario. It is very rare for any kind of session to be taken by only one person nowadays, so why is there nobody (either from the school or the outside company) with this coach?

I just looked it up and Ofsted's recommended ratio of supervision in an after school club setting is one adult per 10 children if they're over the age of 8 ... considering that at Yr 5/6 level most schools are at least playing 7-a-side if not 11-a-side, most football training sessions will have at least 15 kids, if not more, so you'd expect a second person to be around, just for ratios alone. What would happen if one of the boys got injured during the session? Would they be relying on the coach sending another child to find help? Or would the coach be leaving the children alone to get help himself?

You'd think that if the coach is from an outside agency then either there would be two people sent or that someone from the school would be around too. That way, if the coach had to leave, the assistant could have remained to either finish the last 10 minutes of the session alone or, at the very least, supervised the children until the parents arrived and they could explain why the coach wasn't there.

If the coach is from the school then surely he should be following the school procedures (even in an after school setting) and should be more than capable of dealing with a group of Yr 5&6 boys who are misbehaving without resorting to having them sit outside in the cold for an hour. Also if they were school staff, they would have access and authority to use the school system (eg if they have an app/parent portal) to inform the parents of any emergency changes and/or behaviour issues.

Teachers and volunteers are still human and I am sure some would exaggerate the truth to cover their own failings.

The best thing would be for a large number of the parents to get together and withdraw their children from the team until this is sorted out. No team = no coach. Regardless of whether the kids were playing up, there has been a number of failures in safeguarding and communication.

Penggwn. So do the teachers of your experience receive further guidance in truthfully reporting a behaviour situation?

melj1213
An extracurrocular club isn't the same as an 'after school club' in the eyes of ofsted I don't think. I think when they mention after school clubs they are thinking about wraparound care rather than an extra curricular activities.

Teacher ratios are different

Sorry, in your experience.

Ah. From your previous comment I was under the impression that your register method was for your own purposes for recording behaviour, rather than also being used as training tool to guide those less experienced in behaviour management.

Sounds like your school is acknowledging a problem in recording behaviour management and dealing with it appropriately. Maybe the OP's school could benefit from such insight.

radio
We write down exactly what happened.

E.g. Student was 10 minutes late and arrived witj their friend. They claimed they needed thr toilet. Kept back at break.
E.g. Student started to argue with ke about X. I did Y. Student continued and then after being spoken to started to claim that I have a vendetta against them. Passed to head of year as this student repeatedly claims I have a personal issue with them.
E.g. Students were completing a mock exam in silence. STUDENT decided that tbey would talk during thr assessment. They said they 'were just asking a question about the paper', however it is an assessment and any questions about the paper should be asked to.me. detention issued.