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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH should have walked the dog?

115 replies

Seeingthings38 · 28/01/2018 09:40

Currently six weeks pregnant following fertility treatment. I'm the first to admit that I'm an irrational, hormonal wreck right now. I'm also coping with epic levels of exhaustion and barely able to drag myself through the working day.

I was that tired yesterday that I couldn't even get out of bed. DH wanted to go watch his football team play with his DF. I said no problem as I'm not very entertaining right now. All I asked was that he walk the dog at some point as I didn't think I'd be able to manage it. He didn't walk her before he left and when I reminded him said he'd do it when he got back. However he came back with his DF and they chatted on the sofa for a couple of hours. I reminded him again when DF left that dog hadn't been walked, but he still didn't take her out.

I was awoken at 5am by DH going to the loo and saw that dog had dirtied on bedroom floor (she sleeps in here with us) Totally not like her and a direct result of her not getting her walk. I therefore had to clean it up and I've been wide awake ever since. I'm a very poor morning sleeper and once I'm properly disturbed that's it.

AIBU to be foaming at DH? I asked him to do one simple thing and now I'm suffering because he couldn't be arsed. I should add he's still sleeping away soundlyAngry I should also add that dog does normally get a good walk every day (by me) so this was definitely a one off for her.

OP posts:
GunnyHighway · 28/01/2018 10:09

Having seen your update OP yanbu. He should have taken the dog out like a pp said it would only have needed a few minutes

GetYourRocksOff · 28/01/2018 10:10

You are both pathetic and cruel. Poor dog

NoSquirrels · 28/01/2018 10:11

OK, not quite so bad as your OP sounded if the dig at least had an empty bladder.

Your DH is in charge of all daily walks for at least a week. Insist. Lazy bastard!

KindergartenKop · 28/01/2018 10:12

Sorry, your op made it sound like you'd just waited for him to take the dog out.
You're right, he needs the proverbial tonne of bricks!

Original poster
Seeingthings38 · 28/01/2018 10:12

I know how to look after my dog thanks guys. This was very much a one off incident. Her welfare is always put first by me. She isn't depressed at all. She's just a naturally laid back dog. She's the only dog I've ever owned that doesn't get excited when she sees her lead. She would happily just lie in bed all day. I have to drag her out half the time!

OP posts:
Original poster
Seeingthings38 · 28/01/2018 10:13

I appreciate it did make it sound like she hadn't been out at all. That wasn't the case. She's just a bit stubborn with her poos sometimes!

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 28/01/2018 10:13

Your husband thought she could "miss the occasional day" as in go more than 24 hours without being able to have a wee?

Seriously? Would he care to try it himself?

And no, you should not have gone to sleep without seeing to it that somebody tool her out first.
I have zero sympathy for your disturbed sleep. Can you imagine what agony your well trained dog must have been in to mess your bedroom floor?

There'd be one hell of an almighty row in my house this morning, that's for certain.

GetYourRocksOff · 28/01/2018 10:13

You didn't put her welfare first yesterday

Parker231 · 28/01/2018 10:14

If your DH wouldn’t/couldn’t take the dog for a walk, why didn’t you? Being tired is no excuse, the dog comes first. How are you going to take the dog for proper walks when you’ve been up all night with a baby, night after night. Do you use a dog walker whilst you are at work? Sounds like you need them for the weekend as well.

Bananarama12 · 28/01/2018 10:14

I know you're extremely tired but you should have taken her out at least for a walk around the block. And then gone mad at your DH. My partner moans when he has to walk our dog but he bloody well does it because she needs it.

GinIsIn · 28/01/2018 10:14

Never mind a baby, I don’t think you should have a dog!

Look, your husband is an arsehole. That’s the first thing. But also, you need to pull yourself together. I’m sorry you feel awful but 10 minutes round the block is not going to finish you off. Of course you physically can. I had a fairly difficult time in early pregnancy too but my dog is a living creature and her needs come first. Have a word with your husband, and stop acting like a swooning Victorian entering into a confinement, or find a new home for your dog. There are going to be far harder times to come, and how are you going to treat the poor dog once the baby is here if you won’t prioritise her now?

ChishandFips33 · 28/01/2018 10:15

Doesn’t bode well for fatherhood

^This

Original poster
Seeingthings38 · 28/01/2018 10:15

I honestly don't even want him to be responsible for walking her for a week. I love taking her for her walks. I just want him to step in when I'm not able.

OP posts:
Bananarama12 · 28/01/2018 10:16

Oh sorry I see you did take her out. I'd be furious too if mine didn't take the dog out (as I take her most days)

Enko · 28/01/2018 10:17

I think one of you should have walked the dog. I understand nausea and exhaustion However the dog should have been walked.

Its a conversation the 2 of you need. What will you do in a few years when one of you are down with a sickness bug and toddler needs tending too?

theymademejoin · 28/01/2018 10:18

I was thinking you were a little bit unreasonable as most dogs are fine with an occasional missed walk (one of mine refuses to go if it's very wet) but what you actually mean is the dog didn't get to go outside all day! That's really, really awful. I'd even go so far as to say it's cruel to the poor dog. All that was needed was a quick 5-10 minutes outside so the dog could go to the toilet. I'd go mad at him for doing that to the poor dog.

I don't know about yours, but mine would be agitated if they ended up having to go to the toilet indoors as they are fully house trained.

GeorgeTheHamster · 28/01/2018 10:20

I therefore had to clean it up.

Don't make that mistake again. He should have got up and cleaned it up while you went back to bed.

Original poster
Seeingthings38 · 28/01/2018 10:21

fenella Kindly do one. I'm far from a fucking swooning Victorian. My dog is very well looked after thanks and this was very much a one of incident. I'm glad you were able to be superwoman while pregnant. Well done you. I've been feeling shit every day since I found out I was pregnant. I've walked her to the park everyday and gone to work (in a very on your feet, travelling around job) every day. Do forgive me if just for one day I couldn't fucking handle it and expected my DH to help out.

Jesus, some people on here. My dog misses one walk and it's suddenly an RSPCA case!

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 28/01/2018 10:22

tehre is no garden?
poor dog Sad
you should have walked dog - why have one you dont take out? Angry
very bad for the dog not to be able to have a wee

nobody is that bloody tired or that bloody busy

Slartybartfast · 28/01/2018 10:23

but it isnt one walk if you have no garden, she needs to be let out for a wee surely?

Bananarama12 · 28/01/2018 10:23

OP ignore the comments saying you need.to sign her over, they obviously didn't have nausea when they were pregnant!
I was bed bound, so awful but luckily my partner walked the dog. Talk to your DH and try to make him understand how important it is for her to have a walk.

theymademejoin · 28/01/2018 10:24

I only read the first page before posting so missed your post saying that you had brought her out to go to the toilet. However, when you know (and presumably your dh also knows) she needs to walk a bit to do a poo, he should have taken her for a 5-10 minute walk. I still think it's cruel not to.

LimpidPools · 28/01/2018 10:25

OK, cross post regarding the wee. Improves matters slightly, but still, he needs to buck up.

That row would still be happening.

GinIsIn · 28/01/2018 10:25

@Seeingthings38 You really aren’t listening. I’m far from a superwoman and I struggled like hell. but choosing to take on a dog means I put her first. You chose not to.

You say you normally do and it’s just once etc. Well, yes. It’s just once SO FAR. What about when you are more heavily pregnant? When you have a newborn that won’t be put down and zero sleep? What happens to the dog then?

Nobody is saying you shouldn’t expect your DH to help out, but if he doesn’t then you don’t get to just sit this one out because you feel like shit - that’s not how it works.

Original poster
Seeingthings38 · 28/01/2018 10:25

theymade She went out front to do her business, but no proper walk. I agree it's very important she goes out every day. I'm very conscious of the fact we live in a flat.

It's weird because DH would walk out last dog all the time. Yet with this one I always have to ask him. I sometimes wish she was the sort that goes bonkers when she wants out. She's too sweet for her own good.

I'm taking her for an extra long walk today to make it up to her.

OP posts:
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