What/who is a "slut"?

[IsThisMeToo]

Define slut.

My mother absolutely scandalised my DDs when she used the word playing Boggle. In my mum's eyes, it simply refers to a poor housekeeper (she includes herself in this category ).

After my DDs had finished with her, I don't think she'll be using that word again in a hurry - even to win Boggle.

I think the reason promiscuous women are called "sluts" or "slags" and are regarded more negatively than promiscuous men is simply that, in general, women have control over sexual access. A woman who wants sex tonight but isn't fussy about who with will have an excellent chance of getting it, probably with a few free drinks in the process. A man who wants sex but doesn't care who with is much less likely to succeed (without paying for it!), will have a much harder time achieving it and will certainly be buying the drinks rather than receiving them.

I'm not saying this situation is right or wrong, but it is certainly the situation.

"Does the recent coining of "fuckboi" show that 'sluttish behaviour' (for want of a better term) is seen as poor form by both sexises?"

I think, from what 17 year old DD says, this is the case among her peer group.

"A woman who wants sex tonight but isn't fussy about who with will have an excellent chance of getting it, probably with a few free drinks in the process. A man who wants sex but doesn't care who with is much less likely to succeed (without paying for it!), will have a much harder time achieving it and will certainly be buying the drinks rather than receiving them."

I'm not convinced that this is true. However, what do I know? I have been out of this game for a long time.

I think the meaning of the word has changed over the years. Like Matilda, my dm used it as a term for a woman who kept a dirty/untidy home. Still sexist of course.

No one. It's a patriarchal term.

No no (yoof expert here) a fuckboy is just a guy that pisses women around, treats them badly - maybe befriends women for the express purpose of sex but fuckboy doesn’t shame his sexuality, but more “shaming” his treatment of women. It’s the modern equivalent of a rover, for example.

And as for the word slut, i’ve never seen it used seriously in a way I didn’t find tragic and bitter from the user. A woman’s sexuality has nothing to do with her self-respect. If she’s knowingly sleeping with other people’s partners, she is certainly selfish, mean and not a nice person. But shaming women for simply enjoying sex, being sex, being sexually open etc is vile, dire and harmful.

"shame his sexuality"

"being sex"

???

@BertrandRussell I can assure you that men are indeed called sluts and slags where I live. You can not believe me, but I think you'll find it very hard to disprove me.

Fwiw Bertrand I would have agreed with you. In my generation, slut is used for women only.

But my DD (early/mid teens) and her cohort sat in my car a few weeks ago discussing a boy who was a complete slut. And they meant sexually promiscuous in terms of “getting with” “snogging” and what I would have called making out.

Maybe the meaning is changing?

Me! I'm a total slut. Before DH I slept around loads (''twas great fun) and I'm awful at housework

I'm a slut, hate housework with a passion.

MrsTerryPratchett

Not sure. We were making out heavily then he pulled out his penis, grabbed my hand, wrapped his hand around my hand and jerked off. I was too stunned and basically just sat there.

That rings a bell. Are you the same poster who is obsessing about a guy who did this many years ago and you're in an unconsummated marriage? No, you didn't do anything wrong, but you do need to sort out your marriage.

A slut is a woman with the morals of a man.

Tells you all you need to know.

I just class it as a person who is easy to have sex with, they have zero standards basically and will do anything with a pulse. That refers to men or women.

OP you have written about this before. You have a very odd relationship/opinion on sex and all things sexual. I think you want the experience you had to be abuse but I also think it gives you a thrill. You were not a child nor were you drunk. You need to look at your relationship you need more and/or possibly counselling. Don't get me wrong there are plenty of people who can live without sex or sexual experiences but your obsession and your need to talk about your one sexual experience at your age isn't normal.

I really mean this with the best of intentions honestly I am not having a "go" just because this is AIBU your first post on this stick out to me as you sounded naive and also alone and unhappy. Please please talk to someone on Rl.

"slut" is a word I have used to describe a closed door, when I was very drunk

other than that, it's misogynistic bullshit and should only be used when taking the piss of its archaic ridiculousness

I just class it as a person who is easy to have sex with, they have zero standards basically and will do anything with a pulse. That refers to men or women.
Since that person only exists in the imaginary I am left to conclude that no one is that particular pejorative.
People who use pejoratives instead of describing the behavior they consider inappropriate tell the listeners more about themselves than the people they are slandering.

I never use the word slut with the sexually promiscuous meaning. I do however refer to myself as a lazy slut, or lament my sluttish housekeeping ways when I am being very lazy/messy/generally unkempt.

tenaciousC i obviously meant being sexual, any further disingenous ???s you’d like to level my way?

I've never heard a man being referred to as a slit in the sexual sense. Manwhore was the preferred term when I was a hip young thing but I may be a bit out of touch. The closest I get to a promiscuous person these days s is my husband on his seventh slice of pizza.

When I was growing up it was a term commonly used by wealthy older Anglo women to describe us young, usually poor Irish Catholic girls. It was really embarrassing and everything about their behaviour was designed to convey that's what they thought of us and probably encouraged their husbands/kids to think the same way.