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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just opened our credit card statement

445 replies

Mooycow · 27/01/2018 23:48

And am so shocked , it’s over 25.000, ! My husband deals with all the bills ( I do everything else) ,he gets online billing and tears up the statement when it arrives , we have together spent the money ,it’s all way too easy ,obs, AIBU to be shocked that we owe that amount .

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 29/01/2018 21:56

Why would any of those groups want to help somebody who is well off - which the OP is ?

Everybody is focusing on the number rather than the affordability of that number.

The OP will clear the debt in three years using the standing order trick.
No further intervention needed.

Save the charity time for those who need it

kalapattar · 29/01/2018 22:05

Why would any of those groups want to help somebody who is well off - which the OP is

The OP hasn't really said that. She has said that they've got a plan, that it seems to be due to frivolous spending - but that's a lot of frivolous spending every month to get to such a large debt.

Still, it might well be that they are able to cut down on such frivolous spending every month and then pay the same every month to get the £25,000 debt to zero in 3 years. That's about £800 per month to pay every month.

I am surprised she hasn't noticed £800 per month of frivolous spending.

LightastheBreeze · 29/01/2018 22:12

OP mentioned retiring in 5 years so I guess they will just pay it off slowly by standing order over 3 years and if the worst happens and it’s not paid off it will have to come of her tax free lump sum which she will get with her pension or she may choose to delay retirement for a year or two. She did mention if it wasn’t paid off it would take a chunk out of her pension.

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 29/01/2018 22:39

We really need the OP to come back and clarify how much of an issue this is for them - is it just cutting out luxuries (must have been a hell of a lot of them!) or is it a gambling problem etc? I saw her update that she had a plan but I don't know if her DH will be on the same plan!

TalkinPeace · 29/01/2018 22:42

rednails
she did come back - clear as day
said its not a problem and all sorted.
read her posts

kalapattar · 29/01/2018 23:04

Weren't you impressed that they've looked back at £25,000 of credit card bills, analysed the spending and decided that it's not a problem

That was a remarkably quick budget analysis.

kalapattar · 29/01/2018 23:09

have had a frank talk with DH , not only is all above board , but I also came in with a solution that is doable and will actually free us from a huge debt , I am looking to retire in 5 years (nhs) and this would have taken a huge chunk from my pension before even had a chance to enjoy it, I too was to blame it’s easy to add on to a credit card when you have no idea ( and no interest) in the actual amount already owed . Am regretting the electric blinds in all bedrooms now , but onward to a debt free life

What was the solution, I wonder?

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 30/01/2018 00:19

talkinpeace I clearly said I had seen her update but I wanted op to clarify. More detail. Read my post properly before being sarky, thanks.

Motoko · 30/01/2018 00:59

What was the solution, I wonder?

Apparently it was the standing order trick.

SleepDeprived4 · 30/01/2018 01:42

I’d you can afford to pay it back then don’t stress over it. If he’s only paying back the minimum amount a month then the interest is higher and essentially would take years to pay off a small chunk. He should put the payments up so the interest will go down at least that way it won’t take until your 90 to pay it off lol.

SleepDeprived4 · 30/01/2018 01:42

If**

mathanxiety · 30/01/2018 04:06

OP has admitted to frittering HUGE amounts of money on insanities like electric blinds on her windows.
Not much hardship giving up that spending

Indeed, yes Shock
But the pair of them will have to get used to discussing whether they can afford to pay for that sort of frippery out of their joint account from now on, on top of making bigger payments.

It seems to me they have been living in a little bubble which has now been burst. It may be difficult to go from operating on the assumption that they had a disposable income of £5,000 per year more than they actually had (25,000/5) to not only tightening their belts and talking sensibly about 'affordability' and 'need vs want', but also coming up with enough to pay off the balance in a reasonable amount of time. There's a lifestyle and perception adjustment that may or may not be easy.

If it were me, there would also be hanging over me the suspicion that some of the money must have gone on the horses, but I don't think the OP wants to entertain that thought.

kalapattar · 30/01/2018 07:03

Apparently it was the standing order trick

The OP never said what the solution was. TalkinPeace seems to have assumed that was the solution - unless there's been a PM between them.

have had a frank talk with DH , not only is all above board , but I also came in with a solution that is doable and will actually free us from a huge debt

No mention of what the solution was.

Gabilan · 30/01/2018 07:03

Apparently it was the standing order trick

I'm disappointed that "paying off a set amount each month, after you've budgeted and worked out what you can afford" is regarded as a trick, rather than just being sensible.

If it were me, there would also be hanging over me the suspicion that some of the money must have gone on the horses, but I don't think the OP wants to entertain that thought

My dad racked up a similar debt over a slightly longer time frame. In his case it was alcohol, but actually you don't need to spend that much for the debt to add up very quickly because of the interest charged. Say a bill comes in and the minimum payment is £100. You pay the £100 but that month you then also spend another £100 on booze and £30 on a present for someone and £20 on a book you liked the look of because "it's only £20". You've then added another £50 to the bill, plus the interest on it, even though somehere in your head you've paid off £100.

You don't need a major gambling problem. You just need to be one of those people who says "oh it's only £20". Say that once a week (which my dad does) and after a couple of years you've got a fucking great debt. It sounds screwy, and stupid, but honestly some people have very little idea about money even though they're intelligent in general. If my dad had been on his own he might have had to learn, but he's always had my mum, desperately earning and scrimping to try to counteract his debt.

And she wonders why I've never got married. Confused

LightastheBreeze · 30/01/2018 07:29

I think it was just general frittering on items which were probably not needed, also car services were mentioned, its not unusual nowadays to have to spend £7-800 on getting an MOT and service if work needs doing, speaks from experience here.

Tiles and furnishings aren't cheap, I bet I could easily rack up £5k year spends on frippery without touching gambling or alcohol. It will be a tight belt for the foreseeable future now for OP though.

jocarter67 · 30/01/2018 08:58

I have a feeling that op doesn’t actually know how to deal with bills and money, do you work op? Do you have any children? I imagine if you realised you were in so much debt you would have cut down on luxuries. Is this the only credit card you have or is there more? 25K is a massive debt, although it doesn’t have any thing to do with us it must have been a shock to you because you put it on here

blueshoes · 30/01/2018 11:15

Since the OP resolved things so quickly and easily with a 'spreadsheet' and a 'standing order trick', the OP must be a high earner to be able to zero a 25,000 debt over 3 years. Does that take into account continuing and high credit card interest on that (albeit reducing) amount?

I am guessing that her Caribbean holiday 'joke' maybe wasn't a joke after all. Hmm

I would therefore agree that the OP sounds like she does not have a clue about money. This thread has been an eye-opener. I have read about some financial tips and tricks on here, which I thought are shockingly basic and common sense. Then again, it is never too late to learn and all for it to benefit others to know.

ralfeesmum · 30/01/2018 11:47

£25,000!!!

Please God it's not mostly been poured into one of those dreadful Fixed Odds Betting terminals........

Motoko · 30/01/2018 13:13

The OP never said what the solution was. TalkinPeace seems to have assumed that was the solution - unless there's been a PM between them.

I know, that's why I said "apparently", because I asked OP what her solution was, and TalkinPeace said it was the spreadsheet trick, but OP hasn't replied again since saying it's all sorted, so who knows?

OP's reply about it all being above board, everything sorted, seems a little, I dunno, deluded? Not sure if that's the right word but it doesn't sit right.

Lynrdskynrf · 30/01/2018 19:20

You need to either talk to citizens advice bureau or moneysavingexpert.com. As long as it is not secured on your property something could be salvaged. Bankruptcy is a possible way out but beware of any assets you have ( such as any property) being called in. Either way you need professional dispassionate but sympathetic help. Do not ignore this problem seek help. It IS out there and available

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