Just opened our credit card statement

[Mooycow]

And am so shocked , it’s over 25.000, ! My husband deals with all the bills ( I do everything else) ,he gets online billing and tears up the statement when it arrives , we have together spent the money ,it’s all way too easy ,obs, AIBU to be shocked that we owe that amount .

We had credit cards in the 90s, high limits and my DH would insist that he was good at finance and insisted (still insists)on doing the family finance. Then he lost his job and my pay wasn't enough to pay the debt, but he didn't tell me so the debt kept increasing. Eventually I found out and contacted step change,we are now paying nominal sums to each card and will need to pay them off when we sell our house. Luckily we have enough equity to pay them back and still have enough money to buy a house back home. We can't currently move as my in-laws are very elderly and we need to be close.

The irony in this is that I have an accounting background and I still can't make head or tail of his accounts

The Experian Adverse Financial Check also consults the candidate’s electoral roll registration to confirm their current address.
Fun for those who are not on the roll for perfectly valid reasons

our system will quickly scour numerous public and private databases
Private databases - like the dodgy blacklist ones used by Carillion for years ..... excellent

Please explain to me why this is clueless

You'll notice the bold in my post. I was calling the person who couldn't understand why anyone would have a credit card clueless.

The forces are not your average employer though .....

Why would a builders merchant need to have access to any of that information about a fork lift operator ?

My credit check will come up completely clear. I was declared bankrupt 11 years ago. It drops off after 7 years. I would have to declare it if I was asked if I had ever been declared bankrupt, but otherwise, nobody would know.

Why would a builders merchant need to have access to any of that information about a fork lift operator

No reason - which is why I specifically mentioned the military and people in financial services - who have access to people's financial data.

At 20.41 daisychain stated that employers benefited from getting the financial history of potential employees.
I called that out as illegal bilge.
It is with the exception of a very few public sector jobs

TBF - you said you'd never heard of it with employers.

A few examples where it exists were pointed out.

MOD security clearance is NOT the same as credit checking employees
as you well know.
And GDPR will kibosh a lot of the "private" databases - not before time.

Fun for those who are not on the roll for perfectly valid reasons

What valid reasons would they be then?

Buggeroff
What valid reasons would they be then?
Not being British is quite a common one - it applies to several million people.

MOD security clearance is NOT the same as credit checking employees

No - but an MOD security clearance will probably involve checking that there aren't any financial issues.

At 20.41 daisychain stated that employers benefited from getting the financial history of potential employees.
I called that out as illegal bilge.

It is nothing to do with "benefit". It is common practice in financial services (complies with FCA Guidelines) and the public sector to carry out financial health checks on prospective employee candidates. If someone has had significant financial issues such as bad debts, ccj, bankruptcy, it could mean the employee in a financial institution or public sector role could be vulnerable / succumb to bribery

These checks only occur with the explicit consent of the candidate, and they have the choice to decline permission, and walk away from a job offer as a consequence. It is not illegal and does not contravene GDPR.

I've been asked to provide financial information due to accessing sensitive sites while working before. It was as part of an enhanced security clearance form. I had to give details for myself, DP, my parents and if my parents were separated, their partners too. This was some years ago, shortly post 911. Not sure if this sort of thing still goes on.

The police, Prison Service, Miliatary and probably other similar employers expect their employees to keep their finances in order (payments up to date, no unmanageable/large debt) as financial difficulties is seen as being vulnerable to bribery. Not saying it's fair or right, but they are the rules.

I'm another one who uses credit cards to my advantage. I pay them off in full every month and earn cashback. I find it easier to spend this way and treat the monthly credit card bill as another bill. Otherwise you have to separate spending money from direct debit money in your current account anyway, otherwise you need to keep track of what is needed for direct debits and what you can spend before payday.

I have money borrowed at 0% fee free that is saved in interest paying accounts paying up to 5%.

I recently got all my money back from my credit card, including the cost of more expensive replacement flights when Monarch went bust a couple of days before we were due to travel. Incidentally, I also had scheduled airline failure cover on my travel insurance, but that turned out to not be worth the paper it was written on so wouldn't pay out.

If you use credit cards to your advantage, they can be useful and profitable. It's only if you don't do they get you into trouble and are not worth having.

you need to have an honest chat with you OH he may have a problem like gambling you need to know about i think you have been naive though leaving it all to him

How much?! If you have that sort of limit then you must have the income to make the payments!

Hi MooyCow, please get in touch with Step Change, as soon as you can bit.ly/2DFPCGf
They are a debt charity, free to use, and will give you impartial, non-judgemental advice on how to get yourself back on track financially.
Don't ignore what you now know about your credit card debt. It's fixable, and Step Change are absolutely brilliant at helping people who need a hand to get out of the financial mire. Good luck

Surely these debts gradually build up? Why the sudden revelation on one statement?
I sympathise, been there and got the T Shirt with regard to the ‘magic plastic’. I don’t use it anymore having got into a financial muddle more than once over the years.
If the repayments are unaffordable then you could consider a negotiated repayment plan of some kind. The interest charged is outrageous as we all know. Get proper independent financial advice if necessary.
Did your husband take his ‘eye off the ball’ on this one, seeing as you say looking after the finances is his job?

Interesting that you say you both were spending on the card but you thought he was paying it off in full every month.

Not necessarily your fault that the debt hasn't been repaid, but it's very naive to be spending without knowing where it's coming from. If you're jointly spending, then you should be jointly managing the budget.

An EXTREMELY high percentage of interest is charged by using credit cards in this way. Pay it off in full each month or don't use a credit card. If you MUST borrow money, see if you can increase your mortgage (not recommended), but far better to live within your means. Sort it out now

Never used credit cards and never would.

It’s not a boast!
You need to talk, there are loads of zero rate transfers out there for up to two years, talk about doing this - minimal fee, then try see what you can pay off in that time then if not all paid off transfer to another at the end of that term.
I’m sure if you had been made aware you wouldn’t have been spending the same.
Needs a frank discussion every month or so to discuss where you are at!