Just opened our credit card statement

[Mooycow]

And am so shocked , it’s over 25.000, ! My husband deals with all the bills ( I do everything else) ,he gets online billing and tears up the statement when it arrives , we have together spent the money ,it’s all way too easy ,obs, AIBU to be shocked that we owe that amount .

Has OP said how they're planning to repay it?

This thread is so long now...I remember pp saying not to remortgage

but an MOD security clearance will probably involve checking that there aren't any financial issues.

Military and debt don’t mix. What many people don’t know is that you can actually be discharged from the army for too much debt. My husband had served for many years and failure to live within one’s means and meet financial obligations would raise questions about the individual’s honesty and might reflect badly on the army. So it was a definite no-no.

That is a seriously dangerous amount of debt on a credit card. You definitely need to know how that debts been created. I would have a fit if my bills ever got to that state

I’m sorry to hear you’re in this situation. If i were you, i’d take over the finances, OP. Unfortunately your DH may not be such a msths whizz after all.

First of all, big hugs and sorry about your shock. That sucks.

Second, welcome to this century and start taking joint responsibility instead of relying on splitting into his and hers responsibilities. I appreciate that many relationships work like that but you still need to be on the ball if you have joint debts and check statements. It's reckless of him to not have been open about this.

My ex used to sit and meticulously "do the accounting" and be very important about it. He still pissed loads of money up the wall and I;ve managed to reduce our outgoings considerably since taking over, shopping around etc.

You need to stop spending. Simple as that. No holidays to the Caribbean for sure. Your credit card should be used for stuff but paid off in full each month ideally. 2-3 max. The fact that you are trailing on minimum payments is affecting your credit history.

I don't know what you earn in the house so I can't judge if it is disproportionate to your income but the crux of the matter is that you are shocked so I'm assuming it's a problem.

Take control with him, try not to let this become a marital deal breaker, and hopefully you can get it paid off and in the process evaluate what's truly important and what adds value to your lives.

Best of luck.

GB

Never used credit cards and never would

That is a serious 'cutting your nose off to spite your face' attitude to take.

You are denying yourself valuable legal protection if a supplier fails to provide a service or goes bust.

And the opportunity to earn cashback or similar rewards. Plus simple management of cashflow that makes day to day life easier.

My credit card allows me to withdraw foreign currency at the bank rate not the tourist rate without commision or charges, saving me tens of pounds every time I go abroad.

I can only assume that you have many thousands of pounds in your current account so you can pay that hefty deposit that a hotel or car hire firm will demand (easily £1-2k). Some car hire firms require a credit card deposit, so you could be limiting your choice if you don't use them.

The average person on the street can be quite inconvenienced if they don't have a credit card, even if they don't use them to borrow money.

This happened me about 20 years ago. Were 2 statements from 2 companies came in at once. In shock I opened them although were addressed ex OH . Amounted to over £11k. He was in bed (as per) and said " Used to much more than that.. " , turned over and went back to sleep. Well, it was after 10am on a weekday. He had been gambling on poker machines £1 a go.

First thing you need to do is check thoroughly for anything fraudulent on your statement, especially from abroad. I got a card statement £400 higher than expected. I started checking through and found 3 debits from China, 2 from America and 1 from Africa. I rang the card company and managed to get it all refunded within a couple of weeks. Then I started checking previous statements and found another 3 months of statements where unexplained amounts from different countries had been charged. It taught me a lesson, NEVER just check the final total. ALWAYS go through each item carefully and query everything you're unsure of. If everything seems ok and you're certain this is what you've spent, you need to urgently sit down with your DP and check your outgoings. No point spending what you can't afford to pay back. Good luck!!!

Talkinpeace. I don’t understand the point of the spreadsheet? I put an amount in and it says you need to pay hundreds every month going down to a hundred in the last months. Surely the point is people don’t have the hundreds to pay it off in a month and it’s easier to set a number of years and divide it into equal payments??

YOu can afford the repayments AT THE MOMENT, but this is a silly amount to have on a credit card and the interest must be huge. No wonder you’re shocked. You need to communicate with your husband re paying this off and how u monitor spending in future. Take responsibility. The “it’s too easy” line is a cop out

I was in this situation before. I made drastic changes to my spending. I cancelled all memberships to whatever I had. I completely stopped spending money on going out. I told my friends, sorry, I will go out but can't spend and they understood. I quit going out to eat, going to movies, going anywhere really. I started grocery shopping and made all of my meals. I was over 25,000 in cc debt, had about 15,000 car loan and a mortgage and I was single. I was about to get married and had to confess to my fiance my situation. He was shocked but supportive and surprisingly still wanted to marry me. Most of my cc debt was because I was taking flying lessons to further my ratings on my license. Sadly, I did have not flown a plane since getting my last rating as I really wanted to be out of this debt. It took me 2 years to get the cc and car paid off and I have now started directing those payments to my mortgage (after building up 25,000 in savings). I started tackling this problem in 2013. Now, 4 years later, I have paid off 25,000 cc debt, 15,000 car loan, have 25,000 in savings and am on the path to have my mortgage completely paid off in 15 months. I did ease up on my restrictions a bit and do go out with friends and stuff. I also now have a 1 year old daughter and have daycare to pay for. I think if anyone is serious enough to get out of a debt situation they can do it. Being married helps as well and my husband contributes to the mortgage which is still under my name. He has his own savings and bank accounts. At first, when we were getting married I wanted joint accounts but he did not. I've now gotten used to the idea of separate accounts but since neither of us are in debt anymore (besides my mortgage but that doesn't really count, does it?) I think it is ok. It does make it difficult to see the other persons spending especially if they have a bad habit of spending beyond their means.

I would suggest just talking with your husband and come up with a plan to get it all paid off. You may have to make some sacrifices for a short time but you will have an end goal. You can do it!

You are spending way over your means and the kind of interest on that will be horrendous. It’s horrendous on any amount. You would be much better putting this on to your mortgage.

Mooycow, you need to sort this out now before it becomes critical.

Firstly, talk to your husband, get it all out in the open frankly. Then make a repayment budget and cut the debt as soon as you can.

A good place to start is on the Martin Lewis 'Moneyfacts' website. Find the 'Debtfree Wannabe' forum thread and get some help from the other debtors. They are brilliant: supportive and full of good advice. The first thing they will ask for is an SOA (a statement of accounts) where you post your income, outgoings and liabilities. They'll then suggest where you can make savings.

At this point you might want to Google You Need A Budget UK which is a paid for website which helps you manage debt. It comes highly recommended and you get a free first month.

The next thing you should do is make a list of your debts to various cards in the order of the highest interest to the lowest. Try to get a long term 0% interest card to transfer your worst debt to and, use the money you would have paid in interest to pay back the capital. When that's cleared move to the next highest credit card debt balance. On no account take out any more credit or run up any more debt.

The Martin's Moneyfacts website warns against too many card applications damaging your credit limit but they have a 'Soft Search' facility where you can enter your details and it will give you a percentage chance of getting any card without it being seen by Experian or any other credit file company.

Cut up all your credit cards so you cannot use them again. Martin's Moneyfacts people advise keeping one credit card only for dire emergencies and to freeze it in a pint of water so you can't get at it quickly and have to think about using it.

Good luck. Once you are out of debt you can then use that money to start saving instead.

As someone who was forced to live on credit cards for a good while after a business folded I would be very worried. Our total debt on cards was almost £20k at its height and we only managed by remortgaging and taking extra on the remortgage to clear the credit card debt. Sadly, with reduced income, the card debt is beginning to rise again.
Someone asked if companies give normal people this type of money. Sadly, the answer is yes ... hardly a month goes by without cc company congratulating us on being good customers and increasing our limit.
Hopefully you are on interest free?? But as someone else has said, you do have to keep switching to new interest-free offers and you can't do that free - you need to pay a fee of around 3percent - which would be a fee of £750 on the amount currently outstanding.
Agree you need to look at the past online statements together and see where it all went. If you are still using it each month you should consider cutting up your cards so that when you pay each month you know it is coming off the historic debt (and not just what you've spent this month).

It is a bit shocking but we have a similar debt totaled on a number of cc cards all at 0% interest. We pay chip away at the debts monthly and move them when interest becomes payable. if you can do this you have an interest free loan (or low interest as some ccs charge @ 2% initial fee) which is cheaper than a mortgage or any kind of bank loan. i really recommend you do this and keep a tight eye on it.

More worrying is that you have got into this situation without knowing it. You don't want the debt to get any larger and end up with a crisis. Pour over it and figure out how not to let it get any larger.

You are spending way over your means and the kind of interest on that will be horrendous. It’s horrendous on any amount. You would be much better putting this on to your mortgage

Not necessarily. The OP needs to be very careful before adding credit card debt to her mortgage because the annual rate might be cheaper, but the total interest payable could be more if she takes much longer to pay it off.

Also it is very common for people to run credit cards up again after paying them off so they are then left with credit card debt and a bigger mortgage.

For this plan to work, they would need to work out a proper budget, so they know what they can afford, and think before making discretionary purchases instead of just sticking them on the credit card and never paying it off, cut all the credit cards up except one with a modest limit that is paid off in full every month without fail, and then make overpayments on the mortgage to pay down the credit card debt as quickly as possible.

I honestly didn't even know it was possible to have that much on a credit card.
I pay mine off every month and even that scares me sometimes when there hasn't been enough on my account.
I'd be inclined to look seriously into making savings and trying to transfer as much as possible onto the mortgage as the interest rates must be much better than on the credit card.

Incidentally there are now some ccs offering 0% interest for five years (for a fee). I would change to these and work out how much you need to pay off each month to clear the debt and it you can stick to it do.
As someone else suggested look on Martins Money Tips

Swap it in to a loan as soon as possible. You can get good rates at HSBC and Nationwide. I took a £20,000 loan out for an extension at 3%!

You need to cancel the card immediately and contact the company to arrange managable repayment. If you have any problems contact Christians Against Poverty, they are brilliant and free. Hope you get it sorted xx

Either your are winding us up, or you should be really worried OP.

Credit card debt is expensive - intended as a short term form of borrowing, and unless your on a massive income it looks like you'll be in this for the long term.... Ouch.

@ShastaTrinity the Amex Centurion is a credit charge card and it's by invitation only... you have to meet a certain criteria to qualify for one and the balance has to be completely paid off every month.
It's not easy to get, so a lot of people probably haven't heard of it and the fact you have unlimited spend on it.
The annual fee is also eye wateringly expensive.

Oh and get onto You Tube and watch some Dave Ramsey videos.....

Well it's so sad you have literallly put the rest of lives in peril. Money and things are just that. Peace of mind and restful sleep are far more important. Looking in the mirror and liking who is staring back is contentment. I'm praying for you x

You need to talk...that amount of credit is expensive and clearly you have both different levels of comfort with debt.
This could be a toxic issue unless you are both prepared to discuss it and listen. If it were me and I were joint holders, I'd be asking for 12 months statements to see what has been spent.
You need to talk about it- in an honest and open way- before it becomes 41k and a secret...my marriage couldnt survive that one. If you are not happy..talk. Come up with a plan to reduce spending and agree a level of spending or limit the card. If it worries you dh should work with you.