To ask why little girls seem to be preferred?

[foxtaildream]

Is it just me who has noticed this?

Maybe a lot of this comes down to seeing the baby as an extension of the self/an accessory? Which is a deeply unhealthy relationship type to cultivate

Oh & someone told me adoptive parents massively favour girls.

Anatidae I think you may be right.

Yes that's true. Girls are a preference when adoption is concerned. Why is that?

I thought the ideal was seen as a boy and a girl?

It's definitely a thing amongst my friends. Girls are massively favoured.

This is such a depressing thread.

Are individuals so defined by their sex? Can't we - especially as parents just accept the gift of a child as a person, an individual?
I have one boy and one girl child.
My relationship with each of them is unique and special. More important than their genetalia.

foxtaildream He didn’t know why. We thought perhaps because if they had a traumatic history girls might be easier ie less disruptive.

I’ve also read billionaires & younger parents are more likely to have sons!

I wanted a boy and got one. Just find them more relatable

I've had exactly the opposite so I'm surprised to see this - when I found out my twins were both boys people were weirdly relieved and congratulatory (oh how lucky, two boys!) whereas people I know who have DDs have had the "oh well, maybe a boy next time" response.

I've noticed a preference for 'the gentleman's family' amongst those who have two.

I always swooned over the girls' clothing sections, but I can't imagine life now as a mother of anything other than two boys.

I've never noticed this preference towards girls so not sure it exists or not. However I've married into an Italian family and the preference towards boys is huge. When I announced we were expecting a boy it was as if I had announced the second coming of the messiah. Only moments before I told them this my dh had jokingly told my inlaws that we were expecting a girl and my mil's response was "oh well...at least the baby's healthy." I love my mil but I was really upset by that response had the baby been a girl.

She's also come out with the corker "girls don't count" when discussing the sex of babies and in the context of family names being passed on. I try not to get annoyed as this is years of conditioning going on here but I will be cross if she ever says this in front of my dd. I don't want my dd growing up feeling like she doesn't count just because when she gets married her family name isn't traditionally passed onto her children. Maybe she won't even ever get married...that'll really get the inlaws backs up! 😆

If I had twins I would prefer them to be boys, especially if identical. If girls I would worry their appearance would be compared more. Probably read too much Sweet Valley Twins!

It’s taken us a year to conceive the second. I’m getting on a bit so this could easily be our last shot. I dont give a toss if it’s male or female - it’s not like picking an accessory in a colour you want, it’s a real human with its own autonomy and personality.

All I want is for the pregnancy to go well and the baby to be healthy, because we might not get another chance.

Stopping spewing every hour would Be lovely too.

Parents tend to prefer a child of the same gender as themselves.
You state this as fact, but is it?

The woman I know who really wanted girls were in the minority, but also assumed all women did. Most women I know wanted boys, or didn't mind.

So YANBU, OP as I have noticed it, but I think it's just a case of those people being more vocal about it.

I wanted boys and was blessed with two. However had I had a girl, I would never have been disappointed. I do get people asking me if we’ll have a third to try for a girl and I usually give a short sharp reply.

Re: adoption, I think because boys are seen as more likely to have SEN and Behavioural problems

Only ever see this on mumsnet.

My wanting girls is definitely linked to childhood abuse...

Girls are a preference when adoption is concerned. Why is that?

I think people find the idea of a traumatised/emotionally damaged boy even more frightening than the same in a girl, probably because of the different perceptions of the risk associated with violence in the two.

I met some friends in an NCT group and I think they’d all already been made aware of the sex of their baby. They have never spoken of preferences and had boys. I preferred a girl because as a woman I think subconsciously I wanted to heal my childhood through parenting my child and me at the same time. I have a dd and I’m healing my past but through therapy, which is making me a better parent. The sex of my child is less relevant to me now. And I take pleasure in seeing friends enjoying being parents of boys. So in essence, now that I’ve healed somewhat, a boy or a girl would have been great for me.

My preference is neither as I really don't like children... saying that I have DS and he's adorable. It's just other people's children that scare me,
I also didn't have a preference when I found out I was pregnant. I assumed I'd have a bit as there's so many boys on DH's side but is have spent a fortune on dresses had we had a girl... Good job really

I really wanted a girl , but that was mainly because I already had a boy , and my 2 sisters each had 2 boys and I wanted a girl in that generation

So , I have one of each , and I adore both of them

I've decided definitely noticed a general preference amongst some western women for girls. My DM is so prone who has always expressed a strong preference.

She always went on about how she saw herself with girls not boys and was pleased she had two girls. Her smug look is unmistakable as if her wanting it somehow willed it into being... as if it's evidence of her cleverness and what a good mother she is

She pulled a face when I told her I thought DD might be a boy and I could tell she was over the moon when DD turned out to be a DD.

You can tell she "lords it up" over her friends who "only" have grandsons as though she's won some sort of contest.

In terms of 'gender disappointment' this is something that I've never actually heard anyone admit in real life, so though apparently common, it still has a pretty big stigma. It's something where I really struggle to empathise, and I have tried: I recognise that we can't help our feelings, and that different people see different things as problems, but as someone who wakes up every morning both delighted and disbelieving that I might be having a successful pregnancy, I can't imagine giving a tiny toss about the sex of the baby, and I find it hard not to see it as a pretty 'my diamond shoes are too tight' problem.