To ask why little girls seem to be preferred?

[foxtaildream]

Is it just me who has noticed this?

My DS does gymnastics and there are a large number of boys at the club which is great. I gave him an option of what he wanted to do, dancing, gymnastics, playing an instrument, karate etc. He chose gymnastics so that’s what he does and enjoys.

Baked beans

And that's why we're all different. And hooray to that!

I completely understand what you are saying alletik
I always wanted girls, for the same reasons as you. I ended up with BG twins (very happy). From birth they have been treated the same, both go to ballet classes and football classes, both have dolls and cars/trains, etc. But bow that they are 4 they completely fit into their gender's clichés: DD does a lot of static role play (dolls, sylvanians...) and reading/colouring whereas DS's play involved running and loud noises, "fights" etc. If a friend visits with a baby, DD brings him toys and watches closely when he is being fed whereas DS isn't really interested. The list goes on.
I really believe that statistics are not only the result of societal biais, and you can't just refuse to accept that you have more chances of sharing "girl" activities like a spa day for ex with your DC if it is a girl than if it is a boy. And more chances of spending you weekends on the sides of a muddy field if your child is a boy.

@Urubu

I'm not 'refusing to accept' that I'll get spa days etc, I'm not interested in these things.

I couldn't think of anything worse than spa girly days!

Agree with poster that said the stats are due to gender stereotypes.

So many people I know with one of each push the boy to 'boys stuff' and girls to 'girls stuff and push boys or girls only parties etc. They actively encourage this segregation. So much that a girl who dared to play football was mocked and bullied over it.

I have friends who had boys and wanted girls desperately to do 'girly stuff with. Pairing nails and pretty dresses etc. They got their girls and now have 'girly pamper nights' etc.

It's little wonder they aren't playing football etc

I’m hoping my DS’s have no wish to take up any sport that involves standing out in the rain every Sunday. (I don’t let them know that obviously).

@Rockandrollwithit

And there's no reason why you should... I very doubt it ever came into your thinking.

But the OPs question was asking why people prefer to have girls. I can't answer for other people, but for myself, I wanted a daughter so I could share spas, shopping, theatre and that sort of thing with. They are the things I enjoy doing with my mum, and I want to enjoy doing them with my children too.

There's no right or wrong in that. We all enjoy different things and want to do different things. Just because I enjoy a good spa day, doesn't mean you should, nor does it mean I should enjoy the rugby just because someone else does! For you, it wouldn't have been a factor in whether you wanted sons or daughters, for me it was.

This thread makes me a bit sad. Why can't boys enjoy spa days with their Mums if they want to?

Our society is so full of stereotypes and it disadvantages both boys and girls. Boys are active bundles of energy and they will end up closer to their partner's family than yours. Girls like quieter activities and stick closer to their mums.

I'm a teacher and there is far far more variation within girls and boys as groups than there is between the two groups.

They can, I'm not saying they can't, but as Urubu said you're just more likely to be doing such things.... as the stats show.

I'm a teacher and there is far far more variation within girls and boys as groups than there is between the two groups.

Interestingly, I'm a teacher too (secondary) and would totally disagree with this. It was never more noticeable than when I moved from state co Ed teaching into state single sex Ed (girls secondary school) and then a few years later back into state co-Ed again. I had to totally change my teaching when I moved back into co Ed, because it just didn't work for the boys. Yet, both schools same county, same socioeconomic factors...

I'm primary and have taught from reception to year 6. In reception we always had lots of boys in princess dresses etc. I think societal and peer pressure to be a certain way increases as you get older.

I try not to make assumptions about how a pupil will learn or behave based on their gender.

"I try not to make assumptions about how a pupil will learn or behave based on their gender."

Whereas my management make me do this! We have to have specific interventions to deal with underperformance of boys etc in school.... I have to write a report on what I am specifically doing to address male achievement at GCSE....

Funny old world!

That should have said I have to write a report this weekend...

I concede, statically girls are more likely to go on spa days than boys but if you are desperate for spa days find like minded friends rather than growing your own companion. When toddler boys are dressed in tutus and told mummy can't wait until they are old enough to start ballet we will see the statistics shift but I'm not holding my breath. I'm off to help my little man design a fighting robot and learn some poetry. If I'm lucky he'll let me watch the rugby while we do it. Ps he loves the theatre!

@alletik - but is going to those things even a stereotypical girl thing? The theatre, really!? Shopping... I know more boys who would like a shopping trip (I'm 19)

When i got pregnant for half a minute i thought i’d like a girl to share my love of ballet, gymnastics, reading and animals.

Then i gave myself a good slap because there is absolutely no reason why a boy wouldn’t/couldn’t share those interests.

I may have got a girl who hated it all and wanted to go cycling with her dad.

I’d say personality that defines interests. Although reading this thread I’m not sure whether gender social norms, expectations and encouragement overcome. I know i have friends that are chameleon with their interests- their likes and dislikes change depending on their boyfriend or friendship group.

Lilac,

I've deliberately avoided the stereotypical debate, but research amongst teens suggest yes, girls are more likely to be involved and do such things. This is a gov study of teen involvement in the arts, sport and culture from a few years ago.

Rockandrollwithit I'm not saying boys can't enjoy spa days, of course they can, just that there is more chances of a girl enjoying it than a boy. But yes there are exceptions

I remember reading an article about IVF in the US and there was a strong preference for girls (you can legally choose the sex).

Being 100% female I couldn't personally think of anything more tedious than a spa day, but that's me. Do love theatre though!

My ds is far more into reading/languages/art and dramatic plays than my dd. He's not into football.

Dd is into athletics and writes and plays music, her strengths are bass guitar and drums.

People can link to as many surveys as they like but as far as I'm concerned my children are INDIVIDUALS and I'm glad.

"I really believe that statistics are not only the result of societal biais..."

There are racial stereotypes which are statistically true. It doesn't make them genetic.

You can try to bring up a boy and a girl completely equally, you probably won't because you will have unconscious biases that you're not even aware of. But, more importantly I think, you are not the only influencers of your children. They have peers, other adults, they have TV and advertising. I used to work in the advertising industry. A lot of money goes into it because it works. People are suggestible to it, no matter how free thinking they think they are.

Different cultures have different expectations for boys and girls, to those we have in our culture. I'm sure the statistics back up their expectations too. Unless we had children brought up in a society entirely free of sex role stereotypes I do not think we can make any solid claims that ballet is inherently more suited to girls and football for boys (or whatever.)

stereotypical debate, but research amongst teens suggest yes, girls are more likely to be involved and do such things. This is a gov study of teen involvement in the arts, sport and culture from a few years ago.

Nobody is arguing. But there is bo way to prove whether those stats are a result of girls natural sway towards those interests, or gender expectations.

I i know when i did gcse physics, many girls told me the didn’t take it because the class would be full of boys. It was- i was the only girl in my class. Self fulfilling prophecy.

I ran a poll on Twitter

I think the things you end up doing with your child will be driven in part by what you like during their younger years and later by what they like. I don’t enjoy spa days or clothes shopping. My teenage lad loves clothes shopping so we do that. He loves mountain biking whereas I can’t balance so instead I drive him to Wales all the time, take a book but usually end up doing a junior mechanic role. I couldn’t be less interested in inner tubes but I love supporting him and seeing him in his element. When he was little I used to take him to the theatre in the hope it would instil a love for it. It didn’t so now I’ll go with friends.

Lottie Twitter is regarded as a more male heavy social media so perhaps that is reflected in the "boy" out come of your pole. Responses to this thread, and looking at gender swaying threads and the dreaded "gender disappointment" threads show there is a bias towards girls on women focused MN. Lots of people don't care, some want girls some want boys and see want both. A preference is one thing but gender stereotyping is being kept alive and well by the "I can go to ballet and have spa days with a girl but I'll have to stand on muddy touch lines with a boy". I've been trying to think of a hobby/interest a parent might have that they can't encourage a child of either sex to take up and I can't think of one. While it's unlikely that son's are going to want to wear makeup there are male make-up artists so unless your hobby is firing ping-pong balls from your foof you can introduce a boy or a girl to whatever is important to you. They may not like it but that can happen for boys or girls.

It may well may a mixture of innate and societal influences. We’ll never know how much. But the point is we can’t do much about the former but we can do about the latter.