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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this a bit off?

114 replies

Busybeesbutt · 27/01/2018 12:00

I'm in a friendship group of 3. One of them is getting married soon. I've always considered her a close mate we used to speak every night, I've done her loadsa favours etc. I had started to feel like it was a bit one sided tbh.
Anyway she's having 8 bridesmaids some family, some her partners friends and you've guessed it the other friend out of the 3 but not me. Tactless much?

OP posts:
Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 28/01/2018 13:07

Lemony likely she knew I'm too polite so won't say anything

OP posts:
greendale17 · 28/01/2018 13:21

His mates are her bridesmaids? Now, that's just bloody weird.

^This

expatinscotland · 28/01/2018 13:27

'I really hope she doesn't invite me tbh'

She will, to the evening do with a poem requesting cash in it. In which case, don't go!

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 28/01/2018 13:36

Defo not getting childcare for evening do I won't be going

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Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 28/01/2018 21:17

It's not even that I wasn't asked. She asked 1 of us out of a group of 3!tactless

OP posts:
WhiteWalkersWife · 28/01/2018 21:22

It is pretty tactless and in such a small group it is really making it clear how you mean less then your other friend. Not nice...

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 28/01/2018 21:26

The other friend whose bridesmaid apologised in the text as bride wanted to tell me herself erm why? To rub my face in it

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WhiteWalkersWife · 28/01/2018 21:28

I expect the bride thought she could sweet talk you around and didnt want your friend sympathising with you.

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 28/01/2018 21:29

How arrogant of her seriously

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WhiteWalkersWife · 28/01/2018 21:43

It sounds like the friendship has run its course op but id give it a few days to think on it. Can you see any other time that she has shown similar preference?

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 28/01/2018 22:08

Not really. As I say we used to talk every night!

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WhiteWalkersWife · 28/01/2018 22:23

Very strange. Well she has made her bed...its a shame that you had to be hurt by it too OP.

rollingonariver · 28/01/2018 22:30

Tbh op maybe she thought you were the least likely to get offended. That's how I'm doing it. I have 'better' friends that I'm not making bridesmaids because I have other friends that will kick off if they're not.
Sorry you're in this situation but I highly doubt she meant to offend you.

MotherofaSurvivor · 28/01/2018 23:52

Just text her and say "Hi friend on reflection I feel it would be best if I did not attend your wedding. I don't want any harsh atmosphere and I feel our friendship has now run its course. Good luck for the big day and in all of your future endeavours. Take care x"

Job done

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/01/2018 01:19

Aw, don't fret about not being one of eight bridesmaids. My cousin had eight and it looked like a rugby scrum tramping up the aisle.

maybaby17 · 29/01/2018 01:36

Grade A bitch. Stay classy. Go to wedding looking drop dead gorgeous and get her a meaningless, cheap, token gift that you know she will hate. By the sounds of her she would be raging and expect more from you

Oh and you don't have his mates as bridesmaids ffs

SoulStew · 29/01/2018 14:24

I get the feeling I am more of a number than a friend to some people. Good enough to bulk out their friend lists, and be background fodder for their events, but not good enough when it matters.
I got treated similarly a while back, and although it felt shitty, it also freed me from my usual fierce loyalty I give to my friends. She is still a 'friend', but, not one I'd ever put myself out for again.

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 29/01/2018 16:40

Yep next time she phones me crying I won't be going round

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Butterymuffin · 29/01/2018 16:46

Nobody will be able to see the bride and groom for the forest of bridesmaids and ushers around them. Ridiculous.

Trinity66 · 29/01/2018 16:48

I never heard of anyone picking their partners friends as Bridesmaids, odd

waspandbees · 29/01/2018 20:18

That's piss poor

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 08/02/2018 19:10

Found out today 2 of the bridesmaids will be heavily pregnant at the wedding Grin

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ChasedByBees · 08/02/2018 20:48

Has she she spoken to you yet?

Original poster
Busybeesbutt · 08/02/2018 21:06

What about?

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ChasedByBees · 09/02/2018 08:03

I wasn’t sure if the bride had got in touch to speak with you about not being a bridesmaid, or whether she was just going to ignore the whole thing and not mention it.